Poison Ivy hurried to her front door as she heard a rapid knocking, opening the door she was greeted with Harley Quinn. She was standing there dressed in what looked to be her pyjamas, on one arm she had a bag, with the other she was holding a box. She squealed as she saw Ivy "Red" she leant forward to give her a hug, before stopping as she realised the box would be squashed.

"Come on in Harl," Ivy said taking a few steps to the side, giving Harley space to get through the door.

"I made a cake," Harley said proudly lifting the box up slightly as Ivy pushed the door shut.

"Oh, That's lovely," Ivy said with a forced smile, she had had enough bad experiences with Harley's cooking in the past. "Put it in the kitchen, I made a fruit salad and some punch."

"Sure thing, can you take my bag?" Harley said readjusting the cake so that Ivy could take her bag off of her arm, before going into the kitchen.

"Why on earth do you need so much stuff?" Ivy called from the living room, as she opened Harley's bag to see it packed with everything from chocolate to clothes to her makeup bag.

"Well it's been ages since we had a get-together, I thought we could have a proper girly night in" Harley called back.

"Sounds good."

"Which reminds me, I also invited someone else."

"Oh God, not Joker" Ivy cut in sounding horrified and staring at Harley as she came into the living room.

"No, it's..." before she could answer, there was a loud smashing sound, causing both of them to shriek as glass flew everywhere, followed a moment later by Batman.


Ivy stood up from behind the sofa where she had jumped, shaking her head, trying to get the glass out of her hair. "Do you mind?" she asked indignantly as Harley peered around the door frame, where she had jumped behind.

"Oh, it's you," she said sullenly "Good thing I didn't get round to taking my shoes off," She said walking into the room, kicking a few pieces of glass with her foot, shrieking again as it cut through her shoe.

"What do you want, we're just minding our own business?" Ivy asked huffily, walking over to Harley and crossing her arms as Harley examined her foot. Batman Ignored her completely, making a beeline for Harley, who didn't notice until he was right in front of her.

"Where is Joker?" he growled, pushing her against the wall.

"Hey" Harley snapped "Mr J is the only one allowed to manhandle me."

"Where is the Joker?" He growled again.

"Why does that man always get in the way of our nights in?" Ivy's grumbles from behind the pair were ignored.

"I dunno, and if I did I wouldn't tell you Batbrain," Harley said glowering at him.

"Where is he?" He roared before he suddenly collapsed, a couple of feet behind him stood Ivy, holding one of Harley's hammers.

"I guess these things do have their uses," She said grinning at Harley, before looking down at Batman "Now, time to deal with him" She passed Harley her hammer "You're foot okay?" she asked.

"When did I leave this here?" she wondered aloud "Eh" she shrugged before turning to Ivy "Yeah, takes more than glass to put me outta action." She then crouched down next to Batman "Could we give him to Mr J, he says I'm not allowed to do anything with the bat without him."

"No" Ivy snapped, clicking her fingers, suddenly vines burst in through the smashed window, wrapping around Batman

"Fine" Harley shrugged, pulling a face "But when Mr J gets angry you can explain it to him," She said with finality, causing Ivy to pull a face as she pulled out her mind control lipstick.

"So mind control" Harley clarified as Ivy grabbed Batman's face.


"I suggest you stop while you're ahead" said a cool voice from behind them, they both turned to see Selina Kyle standing there, she had obviously jumped through the Batman hole in the window. She was carrying two bags, over the overnight bag and one plastic, grocery bag.

"Selina?" Ivy looked at her in confusion, before turning to Harley "I take it this is you're doing?" She nodded, waving at Catwoman.

"Didn't you hear me"? Catwoman asked her voice a bit louder. They both shrugged and step to the side, Harley dropping the rope "this ok Kitty" she asked, Catwoman nodded/

"So what do we do with him?" Ivy asked sounding irritated" are you telling us to let him go?"

"Yes I am" she replied smoothly, Harley was standing in the middle of them looking awkward.

"Maybe we should Red, this was meant to be girls night with no Bat, just gossip and food and magazines and movie and chatting and ice-cream and drinks and..."

"Ok ok" Ivy cut in sensing a long speech" fine I'll let him go."

"There's a good little plant," said Catwoman in a mocking voice taking a few steps towards Batman.

"Don't push it" She growled taking a step towards her.

"Awww come on guys," Harley said stepping in between them, trying to defuse the tension.

Catwoman smirked while Ivy looked angry before any of them could say anything they heard Batman groan. All three spun round to face him "Morning" Ivy called sarcastically over "Nice to see you've come round."

"What did you do?" he growled jumping to his feet and rubbing his head.

"Hit you on the head with one of her mallets" she replied coolly nodding at Harley. "Are you gonna arrest me?" she asked "but to be honest I think you're the one who should be arrested I mean breaking and entering and all" Harley sniggered at this. Before he could think up a reply Catwoman walked over and whispered something to him, he stared at her for a long moment before nodding once and shooting his grappling hook out the ceiling "let's get down to some serious gossiping" She turned to Ivy and Harley who were staring at her in shock.


"And another thing last time Mr J and me went on a crime spree he stole a lovely cake with a harlequin pattern and full of lovely jam and cream and" Harley was saying smiling at the memory.

"We just had to ask why she doesn't break up with Joker again didn't we?" Selina muttered under Harley's yattering about Joker, Ivy nodded sleepily. Harley had been talking for at least an hour about how great the Joker was after they had insulted him, a decision they were both sorely regretting. As Harley started to run out of things to say they both sat up straight and tried to look interested.

"Do you see what I see in him now?" Harley asked them happily, evidently not having noticed their utter boredom throughout her speech.

"Who wants ice cream,m," Ivy said very loudly and without waiting for an answer she jumped up and walked straight out the room. She walked back in a moment later with two tubs of ice cream and three bowls and spoons.

"and he treats you dreadfully" Selina was saying.

"No no no well sometimes but I know he only treats me like because he cares so much for me," she told Selina who looked disbelieving.

"Ok I got raspberry ripple and mint choc chip that ok?" Ivy asked, trying to change the subject, trying to break up Harley and Joker was a pointless endeavour, they would probably have more luck persuading the Mayor to pardon them of all crimes and giving them all a place in his office.

"Anyway it doesn't matter if you don't see anything in Mr J cos I sure don't see anything in B-man," Harley said, waving a spoonful of ice-cream at Selina, Ivy groaned.

"Oh yippee and hour of why Batman is so amazing," Ivy said sarcastically, piling ice-cream into her bowl, both women ignored her.

"You are kidding, he is way better, a few nights ago I was robbing a jade cat statue from the Gotham Museum, he came and we got into a fight and then we made out and-"

"I'll give Harley 10 bucks if that's all you did" Ivy commented, causing Selina to glare at her and Harley to laugh.

"Anyway," Selina said before she continued her story.

About half an hour later the doorbell rang "I'll get it" Ivy said jumping up quickly, anything to get out of another half an hour of why Batman was so amazing. She liked gossiping about men as much as the next woman, but the extent to which they had already tonight was getting to her. It was like that was all they wanted to talk about and she prided herself on not needing a man, at least not since - she shook her head as she opened the front door, she wasn't going there.

"Hello," She said looking out the door, no one seemed to be there, she took a step outside and felt a blunt pain on the back of her head causing the world to go fuzzy and then black.

"So who is it?" Harley called from the living room when there was no answer she got up and walked to the door, she looked around before calling "Uh, Claws, she's not here."

So as I said, I plan on rewriting this entire story, as I wrote this so long ago my writing here makes me want to cringe, however, I really don't want to part with this story. Call it nostalgia :P. I'm not sure how often or when I will be rewriting each chapter, but hopefully, I will be able to fit it in as soon as I can. Anyway, thanks for reading.