Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.
Summary: Roxas, Riku and Sora had a friendship that no one could break. But then Roxas did something they could never forget. Now Riku feels Sora is the only one he has left, and will stop at nothing to protect him. Whether Sora wants it or not.
Xx WARNING xX: 1. In this story there is many a much violence and blood. If that isn't you're cup of tea, please click the x button in the right hand corner of you're screen.
2. Many sick and twisted things that go on in a persons mind.
3. There is talk of religion. If that makes you uncomfortable. Don't read.
4. Last off, People who are offended by same gender love, click out. Also people who like same gender pairings I should warn you, it isn't a cup of rainbows here.
A/N: I have done my research. That's all I'm saying. Dedicated to Billy-Joe.
Seraphim: Prologue
A Seraph, or in Hewbrew Seraphim, is one of a class of celestial beings mentioned once in the Old Teastament, in the book of Isaiah. Later Jewish imagery perceived them as having human form, and in that way they passed into the ranks of Christian angels. It is the highest rank of angels.
This leads many scholars to believe that Lucifer had been a Seraphim.
You all know the story of the great and beautiful angel.
He became curupt and decided to take things into his own hands. But with this choice led him to lose everything, and to be tossed down from heaven by God.
Becoming known forever as the fallen angel.
-SsS-
His head buzzed softly.
He was laying on something soft, and he was warm. But he was outside, that much he could tell.
He couldn't hear anything. It was as if someone had shoved mounds of cotton into his ears, and now he could only hear muffled sounds. He opened his eyes slowly, immediately regretting the action when his head pounded painfully as red and blue lights flashed. He tried to cover his eyes with his hand, but soon found that he couldn't move any of his limbs. It was as if they were being held down by extreme amounts of weight.
He cried out. Scared.
He then felt a cold hand rest softly on his cheek, then run it's way over to his forehead. He forcefully opened his eyes, against his heads protest, and looked around best he could from his confined position. Things were blurry at first all he could see were colors that blended together. But slowly they formed into shapes and then into people looking down at him with concern and…pity? What was happing? He started to panic and tried to sit up again, but he was once again held down. By what? He jerked his head and craned his neck in a painful way to get a look. The people were holding him down.
He let out another cry. This one more of distress.
The cold hand came back to his forehead and smoothed his hair out of his face. He could see one of the people mouthing words as she gazed down at him. Her brown eyebrows were furrowed in concern. She looked like she was cooing a child. He was getting his hearing back slowly. He could hear bits and pieces of conversation.
"He has no fever…"
Who?
"He lost a lot of blood when he hit the sidewalk…"
Who?
"It's a shame the other didn't make it…and so young…"
Who?
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw their lights flashing red and then blue.
Medics?
Cops?
Why were they all here?
He narrowed his eyes in concentration, but only managed to give himself a harsher headache.
What was going on!
He tried to voice his questions but his mouth was so dry, all that came out was what sounded like a strangled cry. Tears started to come to his eyes. His eyes shifted to the other side where he saw the Baymount Bridge that stood over the islands man made river. That bridge was one of their favorite places to hang out after school. Sora would carelessly try to balance on the stone railing while Roxas and him would lean against it acting like they didn't care but were tensed and ready to lunge if he ever slipped. In fact, him and Roxas has been there just ealier tonight…Yes, they had planned to meet there too…
Oh god.
"Don't worry. They don't hurt, he told me they just freeze up your muscles." The blonde spiky haired boy said as if he were talking about something as simple as the weather as he slipped five stark white pills into the other boy's hand. The other boy huffed slightly, "I'm not worried. Not at all." His hands were shaking, but he could always blame it on the clod.
Roxas nodded slightly, not really believing his friends words and looked off into the distance with a longing look on his face. He gazed at his friend for a moment. His pale cream like skin was a sharp contrast to his bright blue eyes. His blonde spikes were being tossed softly by the nights wind. He had to admit, the boy looked almost angelic. "How long does it take before it takes effect?" Roxas brought his gaze back to the other and smiled grimly. "Only a few minutes. Kind of like Advil." He nodded to the information and glanced down at the small little pills in his hand. Amazing what power three little pills had. He sighed as he clenched them in his hand tightly and leaned over the railing slightly. The water was dark and murky tonight, making it look like it was bottomless. "Why again?" He didn't look up as he asked, but he could tell Roxas was raising an eyebrow at him. "Because it's painless, and when you look at it. It's a very beautiful dea-" "No. That's not what I meant." He took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly as he stared at the water more intently. " I mean, why are we doing this in the first place again?" He could feel Roxas's glare on him. "Because we both love who we can't have." His heart clenched painfully. Yes, that right. The blue eyed brunette and auburn haired girl were together. He hadn't even told Riku that he had more than friendly feelings towards the girl, and the only way Roxas had known something about the whole ordeal was because his friend Namine was friends with the girl. So, it came as a shock when Sora plopped himself down next to the two at lunch and declared that he had a girlfriend. Now, to be fair to Sora. The only one who new of Riku's feelings had been Roxas, and vice versa. So he really couldn't be mad at Sora. But it had hurt so much. It was two days later Roxas had called him and asked him that question he'll never forget, "How much does it hurt?" He had broken down on the phone that night. Just crying all his heartache to his smaller blonde friend, and Roxas was quiet and listened the whole time. It was after he had spilled out everything did Roxas suggest the idea to him. At first he had yelled at Roxas for even thinking of the idea. But the more he thought about it, the more he found himself favoring the idea. So that's how he found himself and his friend leaning against the Baymount Bridge railing at 11:17 p.m. Roxas had told him all he had to do was show up, he would take care of the rest. And that's what he did, he showed up like he had done many times before. It kind of unnerved Riku how content and laid back Roxas looked as he came walking up to him, and how the people passed them not even sparing them a glance. But then again why would they? They looked like regular teen boys just out doing nothing. When his hand was taken in another warm one, Riku snapped back to reality. He looked down at his friend who usually showed no form of affection what so ever. He head was cast down, hiding his eyes from view. Riku blinked slightly in surprise when he realized that Roxas was shaking. "Roxas…?" "And I don't want to die alone…" It was said so quietly that if he hadn't been standing so close to the boy, he wouldn't have heard it. When he heard a soft sniffle his eyes widened as he leaned down took get a better look at his friends face. "Are you crying?" Roxas jerked his head to the side quickly so Riku wouldn't be able to see his face. "Don't be ridiculous!" Riku just frowned, his grip on Roxas hand tightened. He gave Roxas a few moments to compose himself, and then cleared his throat. It was amazing he even found his voice. "Come on, we going to do this or not?" Roxas looked up at him, his eyes were red and puffy and his nose had started to run, but he smiled softly anyway and gave him a soft nod. "Yes. I'm ready." With that said they both climbed onto the railing and sat down. Roxas dug though his backpack and brought out two bottles of water. After he had handed Riku his own bottle Roxas cracked the lid open and threw the lid into the river, he watched Riku do the same. "You remember the plan right?" Riku looked at him sourly. "Of course I do. How could I forget something like that?" Roxas just nodded and held up his bottle as a toast. " I propose a toast. Too us. For I hope where ever we go, it'll be better than here." Riku raised his bottle right along next to Roxas and added a "Here, here." With that they clinked their bottles together, spilling some of the water, and on Roxas's command slipped the pills in their mouths and took a swig. The pills tasted bitter on Riku's tongue but he swallowed them anyway with a gulp and grimace. He watched as Roxas chucked his water bottle into the river below them like he had with his cap. He smiled, "You know, you keep doing that, they might arrest you for littering." Roxas looked at him with a serious expression. "They can't arrest a corpse." Riku frowned but nodded knowing that was true. They sat there for a few moments, just gazing down at the water and the boats that passed underneath them every once in awhile. Riku could slowly start to feel the pills take effect on his body, his movements were becoming more sluggish and his brain was starting to calm down. "Wanna know what I don't get?" He'd said it out of the blue, so when Roxas looked up at him confused he couldn't help but smile. " I thought he adored you…you know the way he fawned over you all the time and everything." At the mention of him, Roxas closed his eyes tightly and took in a sharp breath. He frowned at his friend's reaction but continued anyway. " I mean really. I honestly thought I was going to have to beat him up if he didn't leave you alone sometimes." He was glad when Roxas let out a soft and sad laugh. But hey, at least it was a laugh. He watched, as Roxas's eyes were getting heavier, his movements starting to slow down as well. "Yeah. Surprised me too when he went off with that blonde musician guy…I can't even remember his name…" "I think it started with a D…or something…" Roxas nodded his head as he glanced over at Riku. He watched him for a few minutes, until Riku turned to him as well and raised an eyebrow slowly. "What are you looking at Blondie?" Roxas let a content smile spread across his face. "Thank you…" Riku blinked and processed these words through his heavily medicated mind. "Eh?" Roxas looked down at the water again, the smile still in place. "I've wanted to do this for a long time now. But, I was always scared too…but now that I have someone with me, I feel like I can do it." Riku felt a tug at his heart and let in a slow and shaky breath. "Anything for you Rox." They let a few more minutes pass in silence. Riku could feel his mouth start to numb up, finding it harder to form words. He saw Roxas shift slightly at his side. "Ready?" I don't know… Riku nodded. Roxas nodded slowly. Riku could tell his body was fully medicated just as his was… "On three…" His speech was slurred. Riku gazed down at the water. Had it gotten darker? "One…" Wait… "Two…" Stop… "Three." No! He watched almost as if in slow motion as Roxas rocked his body forward, and off the railing. He watched as his friend's small and tiny body fell towards the deep and murky depths of the river, he could hear a woman scream in the background and someone shout for help. But all he could focus on was those dull blue eyes that looked up at him in betrayal and sadness, before he rocked himself backwards to fall from the railing onto the sidewalk. Something had hit his head as he fell and was slowly making him lose consciousness. "I'm…Sorr…Rox." Everything went black.
"Riku!"
Riku and the detective looked up from the questioning session, as a small brunette came barging though the doors, almost knocking over a few nurses as he ran. He had been transported from the bridge to the ER quicker than he thought was possible. His wounds had been bandaged, and he had been given a quick examination to make sure the blow to the head hadn't caused any internal damage. They also drew blood for samples. Then they sent him to the upper east wing of the hospital for rest and recuperation. The police had followed, an old detective had been sent in to ask him questions. Questions about the pills they had taken. Turns out doctors can tell what you're taking and how much by a blood sample. There were questions about where he had gotten the pills. They were illegal, and taken at such a high dose, Riku was told he was lucky to be alive. Riku remained quiet through out the whole interview, only answering the old man with short quiet mumbles and gurgles. He could tell the detective was becoming aggravated with his responses, by how tightly the man was gripping his pen and pad of paper.
He also asked questions about Roxas.
At which Riku bowed his head, covering his eyes with his bangs.
Roxas…
But both had reacted when the loud boy burst into the room, his cheeks a bright healthy pink and his breath very labored. He probably ran the whole way here. "Riku!" He cried again as he rushed over to the beds side and took Riku's face in his hands. "What happened! The hospital called me because they couldn't get a hold of you're parents!" He was looking Riku over with his eyes, scanning every bit of the boys face and body that was uncovered by the bed sheet for wounds. Riku could see tears start to form in Sora's eyes when the brunette noticed the hat made of gauze on his friends head.
"Sora…"
"Excuse me young man! But we are in the middle of something." Sora's eyes immediately glanced over toward the old detective. His face had become red with frustration at getting no answers, and now he had just been sent off the edge when this young boy came busting in and interrupted his questioning. Sora furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Questioning? Why on earth are you questioning him? He's hurt!" Sora had thrust a fist onto his hip and glared at the older man, as if daring him to speak against him. But Sora could never be threatening. The detective stood up from his seat in room. "I know he's hurt, sir." The mans voice was utterly calm despite his flaming red and upset face. He had called Sora sir. That sounded completely wrong to call Sora sir, it made Riku's insides twitch. "But, you're friend has been involved in a suicide and the possibility of hording illegal drugs. So it's my job to question him, hurt or not."
He could tell without looking up that Sora had froze.
"Riku…?"
He kept looking down at the blue and yellow blankets in his lap.
"Riku, what happened?" His voice was quieter this time. Almost as if he was scared what his silver haired best friends answer would be. Still Riku wouldn't answer. He could hear the detective clear his throat gruffly. "Look, I'll come back in an hour or so. Hopefully you'll have something more to say Mr. Masaki." And with that the old man left, leaving the two alone in the room. It was silent for a long time, until Riku heard the scraping of metal against the tile floor as Sora pulled a chair up to the bedside and plopped down in it. He heard his friend sigh loudly and he glanced over at him though his long bangs. Sora regarded him with a pout and a glare, looking as if he were Riku's mother and were scolding him. But Sora didn't say anything, he just looked over at Riku's nightstand too see the uneaten bowl of tomatoes soup and gilled cheese laying there on a tray. His eyebrows slopped down further. "Riku Masaki, how in the world to you expect to get better if you don't eat?"
He opened his mouth to protest but shut it immediately when Sora picked up the tray and put it in Riku's lap. " Now eat." But he made no move too. Which in turn made Sora slightly annoyed. "Fine, I'm going to try and call Roxas. See if he can get you to eat." Sora spat as he flipped his phone open. "He had his cell turned off when I called him earlier, but surely it's on now." Sora muttered more to himself than to Riku.
Roxas…
Riku's stomach did a double flip, and lurched forward to puke. But because of eating nothing and taking those pills, all that came up was gray burning acidic junk, and he coughed harshly as it left a burning feeling in his throat. "Riku!" Sora quickly snapped his cell shut and leaned towards his friend and rubbed his back soothing as the gray liquid kept pouring from Riku's mouth and onto the tray and blankets. " I should get a nurse!" He went to press the button above Riku's bed, but Riku's hand was quicker as it wrapped around his wrist and jerked it down.
"No… I…I'm okay now."
"You just puked sludge Riku! I don't think you-"
"I'm said I'm fine!"
Sora stared at his friend with great concern. "Riku…What happened…?"
Riku closed his eyes tightly and wiped the corner of his mouth with his sleeve. He took in a deep breath, and then counting to five he let it out slowly. "Roxas…won't pick up." He was starting to shake slightly, he could see his hands start to tremble. Sora tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at his friends, what seemed like to him, odd topic change. "Riku, how do you know that? And even so if he doesn't we can just try calling agai-"
"No. He won't pick up. I'm sure he won't…"
Sora rolled his eyes, now getting tired of this game of dodge around what really happened. "Look Riku, if you're just going to sit around here and not tell me what happened then I'm just going to leave."
"He's dead."
A frustrated sigh. "Who?"
All Sora could do was gasp as Riku flung the sheets off his body, causing the tray on his lap too go flying and the bowl filled with soup to clang to the floor and splatter the walls with the red liquid. He found himself pressed against the wall, wrists pinned above his head in an iron grip that was going to bruise later, and came face to face with green iris's that were so livid, Sora would have been dead if looks could kill. "Who the hell do you think I mean Sora! I mean Roxas! Roxas! R-O-X-A-S! Our best friend! He's dead! Dead! As in not coming back!" He was starting to get horse from the shouting, and he could bet the nurses were going to come bursting in any second to see what the commotion was about. But he didn't care. He didn't care about anything right now. One of his best friends was dead. He looked down at Sora, the boy had become visibly paler and his eyes had widened in dread at the information of his friends death. His was mouthing words, but nothing was coming out.
"Roxas….gone…" He tried to move out of Riku's grasp but was finding it hard and he cringed when Riku tightened his grip, almost crushing his wrists. Sora tried to understand what his friend was telling him, but he felt stupid. Roxas couldn't be…it just didn't happen to kids. They were kids. Only kids! Especially Roxas. Roxas was a good kid…got good grades, helped out other students, volunteered and everything. Sure he was a bit moody, but what teenager wasn't every now and then? How…? What had happened?
The boy blinked out of his thoughts when he felt something wet drip down onto his cheek. He quickly jerked his head up to look at Riku, and there like he feared were small steams of tears running down his friend's cheeks. "I…I could have said no…" His voice broke and went a slight note higher. "I could have stopped him…" Sora didn't like how he sounded. He didn't sound like himself. He sounded like someone in those soap operas. The kind of person him, Roxas and Riku would always laugh and imitate later in an over dramatic fashion. He couldn't help but press himself closer to the wall, to get at least some room between him and Riku. "W-what are you talking about Riku?" He couldn't help but feel relived when Riku let go of his wrists, but didn't move away. Instead he dropped his head onto Sora's shoulder and buried his face into his neck. Sora felt his shirt grow damp. "Roxas…took his life…I didn't follow. I left him alone."
What he said made Sora's blood freeze. "What did you just say?" He whispered, hoping he had heard wrong. But Riku didn't answer and only buried his head further into Sora's neck.
"Riku!" He felt tears of his own well up, but he couldn't tell if it was from the news or anger. He beat his fists onto Riku's back as hard as he could from his position. "Answer me! What did you mean!" He could feel the tears start to roll down his own cheeks and slide into Riku's hair and gauze cap. "Riku, tell me that he didn't do it! Tell me you weren't there to prevent it! Tell me!" Again he went unanswered. He screamed something without words and slowly slid down to the floor with a sobbing Riku huddled against him. He heard the doctors and nurse burst in from his scream, but paid them no mind. He was crying so hard he could hardly breath. He could hear Riku take in a sharp gasp of air, only to let out more strangled and muffled sobs. Slowly he brought his arms around Riku's shoulders and held him to him gently. He rocked them both best he could, and buried his head into Riku's hair.
That night they fell asleep against the wall of St. Marie's hospital, curled against each other.
A/N: Ok, if you people wish to burn me at the stake or something. Please wait until I have less homework.
Okay, that was the biggest load of angst I've ever written, I feel sick. I really don't know how people do that or a living.
Well, Please review if you like it. Bye-bye! Love Tenkuno.
