I can feel the creaking of my bones as if I'm being pack in a room with no space at all. I can feel the heat trying to kill me as my breathing starts to fell short and shallow. My head is spinning and my heart beats so fast I can hear it on my own two ears.
I look around for someone to help me but I can't even shout for help. The forest is quiet yet I can sense the fear of a person closely related to me.
I can feel fear radiating from a soul that became a part of me for so long I can feel my own heart breaking. Fear became anger then to pity. I can feel that the person wants to talk to me but I can't hear the person's voice.
I can't understand the anger succumbing me right now as I try to break away from the pain I feel. I tried to open my eyes but darkness keeps on dragging me down into the depth of a hallow ground.
A hallow ground I can't even feel and see.
#KLAUS
As I stare at the rummaging rally of tourist in the intersection of New Orleans I realized that the fight I keep on fighting is not yet finish. I saw my mother, Esther, and her sister Dahlia kill each other but it doesn't mean that I forgive them for the reason that I nearly loss the daughter I've adored since she was born.
I look at the bright lights as the sound of music plays with the laughter's of all the people that visits New Orleans. It was just another time and night but it feels like it's not the same at all. I left Hope to Rebekah as I want to be sure that no one in particular is keeping any agenda against me. I keep on looking around when my eyes caught my brother's figure. I know that he's been following me since I left the compound but I don't want to spoil his night. I went directly inside the tavern when my eyes locked with Marcel. He did not make any attempt to approach me but I can see that he has something to tell me. I keep my cool when my brother valiantly sat beside me.
'Nik, what are you doing? You've been drinking this past four months and you've never even held your daughter again. It's been four months but you haven't even tried to change that kind of attitude' Elijah preaches as he took the glass of whiskey I ask from the waitress. I look at him with nothing but contempt. It hurts me enough to know from another person that I'm such a bad father. I wanted to be the father Hope would love and respect when she grows old but on my mind I know that I will never be the father worthy of her respect and love.
I still remember the night I conspire with Dahlia to remove the only person that keeps Hope away from me. Hayley. I deceive her for me to be able to statistically protect my daughter alone but looking at my daughter's eyes I feel like I remove a part of her. I took away the person that gives her life literally and figuratively. Am I that selfish? I only want what's best for my child but tonight as I stare at the bottle of Cognac being laid in my hands I realize that all I did is to shut and kill the people I thought were nothing but gives me pain and wants me dead. I was wrong. I was wrong. In all the centuries I tried to kill my siblings they were actually the ones that's been helping me cope with all the loses I had before.
I took the bottle and left my brother without even answering him. I was lost and in that moment my daughter's face keeps on blocking my head. I can see her beautiful blue eyes but I remember Hayley with those eyes. Hope's eyes were the mixture of sky blue and olive green. I've been a selfish bastard because I break promises and kill innocent people but when it comes to my daughter it feels like I cheated her life away from her. I wanted her by myself. I never realize that Hope needed her mother. She needed her hard that it pains me to look at her. I can't look at Hope's eyes because I was afraid to see her tears. I wanted what's best for my daughter but it cost me a lot. I stumble inside our house when Rebekah blocks me from my reverie.
'The great and mighty backstabbing bastard Niklaus feared by everyone here in New Orleans. Drunk again? When will you stop this nonsense and try to give your daughter the time to enjoy your little private world. How dare you. How dare you, Nik. Why are you doing this? You're daughter needs you. You're such a bad-ass hybrid but when it comes to your daughter you're like a worm trying to crawl the earth and hide just for you not to hold her' Rebekah angrily shouts at me but I can't find any words form in my lips.
'You wanker. What do you want to do with your life? Hope is here with you. Hayley will never be able to take her away from you. There may be another enemy that will come and threaten our family but we are here to fight with you. Why is it hard for you to realize that all you did were wrong and inappropriate but you need to take care of your daughter? It's okay to feel like you're alone once in a while but never forget about your daughter' Rebekah said to me as she takes a step back into the house and make her way into the Hope's room.
I utterly feel like I'm a loser. I've had enemies before but my own destruction is cause by my own doing. No one will ever take me down but looking at myself tonight I feel like I will bring myself down. As I look at the lovely night something caught my eye. I walk silently on the tree that serves as a monument for the day I save Marcel from that bullshit. In that moment the rustling of the leaves gives me chills when I came eye to eye with a wolf I know dearly. I can see contempt and anger in the wolf's eyes. I know its Hayley.
'Well. Well. Well. I should've known that you've been trying to take a peek at my daughter. I think now you realize that playing fire with me will cost you much more. Is it hard for you to even trust me just for once? I give my blessing for you to marry Jackson because I have a plan in mind and when you got that little freedom you take matters in your own hands. I'm not sorry that I deceive and will not forgive you because I can take care of my daughter alone' I angrily shout at the wolf when the wolf turns its back on me. I was a little triumphant with the action of the wolf when I realize that Rebekah was just behind me as Hope happily bubbles her own little language that she can only understand.
'You stupid bastard. You were the reason that Hayley is in that miserable state and you still have the guts to talk to her like that. She's just here to see her daughter but your paranoiac mind plus your stone cold heart make it impossible for the people around you to trust and stay for your games' Rebekah angrily shout at me again when I realize that the anger boiling inside me is ready to be unleashed.
'Sister you do realize that you've been sticking your tiny little butt in my life the moment you take hold of my daughter. She's not yours sister she's mine and mine alone. You think that just because you help me fight my demons I will let you inside her. No, sister you're wrong. I can protect my daughter alone'
'Niklaus listen. Listen to your words. I know Hope is not mine but you don't have the right to rip her away from her mother. Didn't you even have any slightest explanation that the reason Hayley wanted to take Hope away from you is because she knows that you will be the death of your daughter. Nik, it's okay to love your daughter beyond obsession but you need to realize that Hope needs her mother as much as she needed you as her father. We promise we stick as family but by stripping Hayley her right as Hope's mother you were destroying that promise you told her. You've been breaking the chains Elijah and I are trying to build just for this dysfunctional family to stay together. You were always the odd one. You were always the only one who always breaks the bond because you are selfish beyond doubt. You only think of yourself and by looking at you shout Hayley a while ago you're demonstrating your strength without realizing that she's stronger than you are. You've always been a bastard Nik but I never thought that you can stoop to being stupid' Rebekah said as she looks hard in my eyes before she went back with Hope inside our house. The melancholic rustling of the leaves feels like a storm softly killing me when it blended with Hope's crying. I can hear Rebekah trying to soothe her but Hope cries harder.
It's been four months since I ask Dahlia to curse Hayley's family to prove my alliance to Dahlia. I know that I did my own plan without talking it with Hayley. I was blinded with the idea that she wants to run away with Jackson but the hardest part is she doesn't truly trust me. I hate myself for cursing her but the idea of Hope calling another man her father kills me inside.
When I made a promise to Hayley I wanted her to trust me but I know that I am partly to be blame because of my jealousy and being a paranoiac. As I stare at the moon happily taunting me a plan cross my mind I know it's hard but I need to fully protect my daughter.
#HAYLEY
I'm angry that is an understatement of what I've been feeling ever since I encounter Klaus a while ago. I wanted to rip his heart out. I wanted to kill him the moment I laid my eyes on him. I wanted to torture him like the way he did when he curse me and my family four months ago. Since that day I haven't had the chance to talk and held my daughter because Klaus made it to the point that I will never even touch my daughter. I'm a little thankful to Rebekah for helping me see my daughter. Ever since the curse fell upon our pack I never had the chance to hold my daughter.
As I make my way into my pack I can feel the lonely wind playing with my fur. As Klaus shout at me a while ago all I see is the fury of anger lingering in his eyes. I know I made a mistake of backstabbing him but I only want what I know will greatly help my daughter grow without any one trying to kill her. I remember the night Klaus stands in front of me smirking as I feel my bones start to crack and the pain that kills me. I told him I am sorry but I know that he will never forgive me for what I have done.
I know he has his own way of dealing against his enemy but I also wanted to take my daughter away from all the violence that is crawling inside her father's heart. Call me selfish. Call me a coward. I'm maybe the most irritating person you will ever meet but all I wanted in this world is a family I can live and protect.
I promise my daughter that I will not let any harm into her way but all I did is to destroy every chance that I will be able to live with her. I'm angry and hurt with Klaus's deception but I can't put all the blame in him. The two of us were the reason why our daughter is in a grave danger.
What if I did not go with Klaus that night and have a one night stand with him. What if I went away the moment I learned that I was pregnant. What if I didn't have the courage to come here in New Orleans? A lot of 'What if's' runs through my mind but I can't take back all the things that happened a year ago. It was a mistake. A nature's loop hole. A grave mistake that both of us need to suffer but it all came to the end that it was our daughter who suffers more. I stop in that moment when I heard that someone is following me. I can hear the smooth yet controlled walk behind me. I can sense that the one following me is not with my pack. I can feel that it triggers the instinct of survival inside of me.
I start to fasten my pace when Klaus just emerged in front of me again. He fell down into his knees so that our eyes meet. I can still see tinge of fury in his eyes but I can see through his actions that he is uncomfortable. I can see the indecision created in his eyes as he averted his gaze. I waited for him to say something. I wanted to throw insult and angry curses at him but a howling sound was the words that came out of my mouth. He smirks. The sarcastic smirk he always wears as he tries to intimidate his enemy. I tried to be still as the wind stop playing with the leaves.
'I only wanted to protect Hope. She's your flesh and blood. I know that you only want to protect her from all the pain my enemies will inflict her but you should also know that I will do anything in my power to protect her. We made a promise little wolf. We both want to give our daughter the life that we never had before but before we do that we need to come to an understanding and agreement. We always want to be superior to each other. We both wanted to kill for our daughter. I know that you want to kill me right now but we need to talk about our Hope. We wanted a family and she can give that to us. I am sorry that I made this curse fell upon you but you should remember that this is not just my fight. This is our fight little wolf. This is our fight to protect our littlest wolf' Klaus said before he went away as if he did not stop me from my reverie.
I just stay that way before I sense that Jackson is coming towards me. I can feel his grief because he can't do anything to help our pack. This is not what I intended for our pack but I always thought that all my decisions were what this pack needed. I look back to where I came from and realize that Klaus is right. We always throw insults and angry curses at each other that we didn't realize that we both fight for one reason. It is to protect our daughter. We only needed to talk to each other to resolve the conflict we had with each other.
We did talk on that narrow day when he crazily snaps my head but I decided to retaliate against him. I know that he had his own agenda when he decided to say yes to my marriage with Jackson. We both are. Jackson is just the pawn for our plans to work. I married Jackson for the pack I needed to protect my daughter and I know that Klaus have something in his mind too.
As Jackson stride towards me I decided to run away from him. I am guilty as hell for using him and I don't want him to sense all the emotions running wildly inside of me right now. I decided to go back where I know that I belong even though it is the most bizarre family I can live with when out of nowhere I can hear a woman's voice speaking in a language I can't pinpoint. It is then that darkness covered my eyes.
#HOPE
Hope giggles as she hears her Aunt Bekah's sentiments against her father. The people around her might not know that she can see and understand what they all do. She was so happy a while ago when she lock her eyes that with her mother. The moment they shared together lasted briefly because of her father's angry accusations against her mother but she's still happy to see that her mother is well. Hope can't feel any anger towards both of her parents but she feels lonely and empty. Her father is not holding her much longer than the days before when she and her Aunt Bek's is on the run. She misses those litanies her father would promise her. She misses those little talks they had together every time her father would scoop her out of her prison cage. She also misses her mother's touch as she cuddles her to sleep. She misses those girl talks they did before she sleeps at night. She misses those days in the sun as she carves her mother's lovely smile in her heart. Hope misses her mother so much that she made a noisy bubble before her Aunt Bekah scoop her in her arms.
She loves being cuddled by her aunt but she wants her mother and father to hold her. Hope tries to focus her eyes in the house that's been her home for 9 months now and it pains her because she can't even have the chance to play again with her mother. She wishes that she will be able to feel her mother's loving arms and her father's sincere promises address to her. As the chilly night caught her cheeks she can sense that something is wrong. The sense turns into fear as she feels her mother's light inside her heart is starting to fade away.
Hope starts to cry. Rebekah jolted when she hears a different cry coming from Hope. Rebekah can feel fear and sorrow in Hope's sob as she tries to comfort her. Rebekah took Hope and she fastly went to the bayou where Hayley will be staying for the moment until the next full moon. Hope is still crying in her arms that they saw a lot of wolves coming their way. Rebekah shouts for Hayley but she can't see the wolf that will be able to make Hope smile. Hope can still feel the pain her mother is feeling as the curse of the moon shadows that fell upon her is being lifted away. Rebekah is still worried when she heard a voice behind her back.
It was Elijah. He follows her because of Hope's unimaginable cries that even Marcel and Davina run through the bayou. They look at each other's eyes but no one dared to speak. As the moon brightly shines in the far east of the bayou Hope's wailing turns into a lovely sob as the wind gently rustles the leaves of the trees. Rebekah afraid of what happen a while ago calls her brother Nik. She can't contact him so they decided to go back home. Hope stir but she gently cowers in her sleep.
#AFTERMATH
As the last of fear tingles away from her body Hayley feels like she was punch for a long time that all her muscles ache. She can't open her eyes yet as the stinging of her bones makes her weak. She tries to open her eyes when the rays of the sun sting her eyes like a bee. She wanted to kill whoever let the sun inside her room in the bayou.
She remembers that she fell into a Hallow ground but as she tries to wake up she realize that she is back as a human Hayley. She looks around and realize that she's back at the room Nik offered her to stay when she's still pregnant with Hope.
Small droplets of tears fell from her eyes as she stared as the eyes of her little girl. Hayley motioned her arms and Rebekah handed Hope to her as they both heard a giggle escape from the baby's mouth.
It was the most painful transition that she did but looking at her daughter's face made all the pain just like the cold droplets of rain in that December night.
In that moment Klaus entered her room and all that she can say to him is 'Thank you'. The moment of silence made it awkward but for the two the silence in that room gives way to an understanding of love and trust.
It was Hope that made them realize the things they needed to do in order to protect their daughter.
