~ Gojyo's Worst Sleepless Night ~
"That friggin' monk should NOT be messing around with my pack of beer! … Ordering me around all the time, embarrassing me in front of the chicks..."
"Sanzo cursed you in front of the girls again, didn't he?"
"I never knew a certain half-brained, four-stomached saru could be so updated during late nights,"
"Whatever."
"Well, I guess I owe that man. If it weren't for him, I'd be screwing those gals instead of getting my beauty sleep."
"You're sick."
"Thanks… Hey, wait a minute. You don't even know what screwing means."
"You're still sick."
"Pfft. Anyway, g'night,"
" G'night, ero kappa. Hey! That's my pillow!"
"Do I see your name on it? No, I do not, so piss off."
"I don't want to piss off! Now give it!"
"OW!"
"Ha! You deserved that! Hey! Quit shoving!"
(After a pointless round of pushing and shoving, the two finally settle down on their respective beds. Gojyo emits a long yawn.)
"Seriously. G'night, saru."
"Okay. G'night."
Forty-three seconds later.
"Hey, Gojyo?"
"Hn?"
"Where's Hakkai?"
"… Maybe somewhere drowning himself in his tea. Now get back to sleep."
"Oh, okay."
Four seconds later.
"Hey, Gojyo?"
"What?"
"We never get moments alone together like these, so I figured we should take advantage of it – ,"
"– How'd you suddenly get to speak so well? What the hell are you saying? Look, you better not be gay – , "
" – I mean, you know a lot of stuff,"
"…"
"You asleep?"
(Goku starts shaking Gojyo.)
"I was."
"Okay… Um... Gojyo? How do people make babies?"
"Well, they – wait a minute, you don't know?"
"Yeah, Sanzo… he didn't… well… actually, he never explained it to me – ,"
"Ask Hakkai in the morning. Now go to sleep."
"He was busy when I asked him. He said it had something to do with you bringing women into your inn room every night,"
"He did?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, then think about that for now. I really wanna sleep. G'night."
"G'night."
Thirty-nine seconds later.
"Gojyo?"
"…"
"… Gojyo!"
"What is it now?"
"Why does Sanzo have that red dot on his forehead?"
"It's a chakra. It's a stupid monk-thing. Ask Hakkai later for an explanation."
"Oh, okay."
Twenty-seven seconds later.
"Gojyo?"
"WHAT?"
"I was thinking."
"Yeah?"
"Never mind."
"Geez."
(Gojyo turns on his side with his back against Goku.)
Eighty-two minutes later.
" Buns."
"Wha – ?"
"Yummy."
"Goku? You awake?"
"Fried chicken."
"No shit? Damn it, your foot's on my chest! Get off!"
"Mmm."
"Sheesh! Fuckin' saru! Quit it!"
"Hey! The lunch is running away!"
"I'm not lunch, you lunatic ape! OW!"
Gojyo pushes Goku off him; the latter falls onto the floor together with his blanket, making a small thud. He continues to slumber.
"… Probably the weirdest and most idiotic teenager I have ever met in my entire life."
Three hours, sixty-one minutes and seven seconds later.
(Someone's sudden, soft clapping is heard in the room.)
"Come on, you two! Rise and shine!"
"… Hakkai?"
"Why, Gojyo! You really are awake! Now hurry and get up! Sanzo's in a rather bad mood, so he wants us ready by seven, pronto!"
"Good morning. What 's for breakfast?"
"I thought you were already chasing your food last night."
"How'd you know about my dream?"
"Don't bother."
"But I didn't tell you about it yet,"
"Then don't."
"Why are you so grumpy?"
"'Cause I only got four hours of sleep last night,"
"Why?"
"'Cause of your wacky dreamscapades and endless questions, that's why,"
"Oh! I forgot to ask you. How does an – ,"
"FORGET IT!"
End.
