I stumbled through the dark, dripping forest
The summer had been long and dull and hot, punctuated with brief sparks of joy when Bella was around. Which hadn't been very much, especially recently, with the—oh, it hurt to think it—wedding coming up. Lately the visits had been short and more infrequent; and even though we still had the same spark as always—the way we could make each other smile so easily—things became awkward sometimes, and even just looking at her beautiful figure pained me. Because I knew that as soon as she kissed my cheek and stepped out the door, back to her truck and her father and her leech, the air would whoosh from my lungs like I'd been punched, and it would be impossible to get any significant amount back in again. This was the life I'd come to lead.
I was lying on my couch with my shirt off as usual, staring blankly at a cooking show when the phone rang. I picked it up, and answered dully, "Hello?"
"Jacob," Bella's voice breathed. She sounded relieved, and out of breath.
"Hey, Bells," I answered, sitting up straighter and coming out of my doze. "What's up?"
"Not too much," she replied, sounding strangely nervous. "Um, Jake, are you doing anything tonight? On patrol or anything?"
"Nope." I was trying hard to make my voice as cool as possible, to stop the frantic pounding of my heart. Bella hadn't been over in days. "Nothing at all."
"Could I come over later, then? Like, around four or five?"
Even though I didn't think I could wait that long, I said, "Yeah, of course. You know you don't have to call."
She made a noncommittal noise.
I thought of something. "Hey, where's your bloodsucker? Or has he finally admitted I'm not going to kill you?"
She sighed. "He's hunting. I'll see you later, 'kay, Jake?"
"'Kay. Bye, Bells."
"Bye."
The phone went dead.
I wondered why Bella had been acting strangely; she knew that I was delighted to clear any schedule I had for her. Yet she called, and actually asked if she could come over? Something was up, I could tell that much.
But it didn't stop me watching the clock, or my heart pounding when I thought of winding my hand around her cool fingers once more.
The sound of her truck roaring to a stop shot a jolt through my body and sent me flying across the room to open the door before she was even fully out. She smiled when she saw me there, breathless, and I grinned back. Every time I saw her she seemed to gain a new kind of beauty.
"Hey, Bells," I smiled. She jogged up to the steps and managed to trip herself, falling into my arms. She sighed, then laughed, and straightened up, hugging me properly.
"Hey, Jake," she whispered into my ear. I swallowed, and my heart beat erratically in my chest.
I pulled away, moving my hands to hers. "You wanna come in, or go in the garage?"
"Garage," she answered, smiling. She seemed a little vacant though—thoughtful.
"So, what's up?" I asked her as we walked around the house to the back. "How's the, um, wedding going?"
She gave me an exasperated look as we sat on the hood of the Rabbit, in for repairs once again. "We don't have to talk about that, Jake."
I couldn't meet her eyes. "Well, it's the biggest thing going on in your life, isn't it?"
"Jacob…" she sighed. "That's actually kind of why I'm here." I froze, apprehensive of what she was going to say next. She looked down and started fidgeting with my too-hot hands.
"Jake, you know you mean so much to me. When you're happy, I'm happy. And when you're not, I'm not either. And I know what me getting married is doing to you…" I winced, and she looked up at me. "We both know that I can't give you everything you want, as much as I want to. But, I was thinking, maybe I can give you something. For everything you've done for me."
She looked up at me with what was unmistakably love in her milk chocolate brown eyes and I melted inside, my organs finally overheating and liquefying to slosh hotly around in my chest. She twisted her pale arms around my neck and worked her cool fingers into my hair and kissed me, strong and deep. Our mouths molded eagerly against each other, our breathing became ragged. Her tongue poked tentatively into my mouth, and began exploring it, soon becoming not so tentative. My hands slid up and down her sides, wondering how such gentle curves could set me off so much. Eventually she broke her mouth from mine, and began delicately kissing my jaw, my neck, my bare shoulders. My breathing was harsh in her ear as I whispered her name.
"Bella, dear Bella…."
Abruptly she pulled me up and leant against the car, in a not so awkward position. I kissed her mouth once, then moved to her collarbones, nibbling gently at her cloud-soft skin. She giggled.
"Jacob, I'm so sorry for everything I've done to you." She was speaking fast and her voice was whisper-soft. My heart leapt painfully into my throat at her words, and I continued to kiss her neck so I wouldn't say anything stupid. "And maybe it was dumb for me to do this…"
I chuckled against her skin. "No, not at all."
"But just remember it, if you need it, when I'm…."
My breath hitched in my throat and my lips stopped moving. I sighed deeply and pulled away, looking down at her beautiful little body with sorrow in my eyes. She opened hers when she couldn't feel me there, and stepped forward, raising her hand and stroking my face. I closed my eyes and held it there, sighing again.
"I'm sorry, Jake," she whispered sadly. "Should I leave?"
"No!" I gasped, gripping her hand tight to my face. "No, don't go, Bells. Don't."
She nodded and wordlessly stood on her tiptoes to press her lips to mine again. After a moment her cool hand took mine from behind her head and gently placed it just under her armpit, next to her round breast. I broke the kiss and looked down at her, surprised but, undeniably, excited.
"Are you…?" I asked unsurely.
She just nodded.
I lay my lips against hers and tenderly cupped my hand around the little mound, both firm and yielding. I took in a shuddering breath and squeezed lightly; a moan broke from Bella's lips. She pushed herself closer to me, her crotch rubbing against mine.
"Mmmm," I breathed, becoming very hard, and squeezed again, feeling her nipple distinctly through her thin blouse. She purred, and I loved the thrum of her chest against mine, the smell of her breath, the feel of her hair, the taste of her little tongue. Her delicacy; how tiny she was. And that fierce life in her that so contrasted with it. I wanted her so badly, and it was killing me.
She broke the kiss when I stopped squeezing, and lay her head against my chest. I wrapped my long arms around her little body.
"That felt amazing, Jacob," she breathed.
I laughed and crushed her against my chest. "If you had gone the other way, you could get that all the time." I smiled bitterly at how that had come out; as if she was the one losing so much.
She sighed, then looked up at me. "I want to give you more."
My eyes widened.
She blushed and looked down, adorable as always. "Maybe not…not everything, Edward would probably tear you limb from limb if we did that…but…more." She glanced towards the house. "Is Billy home?"
"No," I smiled. A grin was forming on my lips. "Won't be for awhile."
A small, shy smile appeared on Bella's lips, too. She took a deep breath.
"What are we waiting for, then?"
I scooped her up into my arms and jogged inside and to my room. I gently lay her down on my bed, where she looked up at me with wide, beautiful eyes. I knelt down beside her, and tenderly brushed her long hair out of her face. Almost of their own accord, her fingers trailed down my bare chest, making me shiver. They stopped at the waistband of my jeans. My breathing quickened, and after a moment I lay my lips at the edge of her jeans.
I slowly kissed my way up, pushing her shirt higher as I went. I kissed over her belly button and her ribs, earning a breathy, "Oh, Jake," that made me hard all over again. Finally I stopped at the edge of her thin white bra, taking the edge gently between my teeth. I felt her suck in a slightly panicky breath.
"Jake, please don't rip it. What would Edward think?"
"Frankly," I replied, "I don't give a damn what Edward thinks." I tore the thin material just a little, teasing her.
"Jacob," she breathed, trying to be reprimanding, but her harsh breathing got in the way. I met her eyes and grinned at her, taking her up in my arms.
"As you wish," I purred, and smoothly undid the clasp of the bra, inexperienced as I was. She fell back against the bed, holding the material against her chest, with a slightly scared expression on her face.
Her holding her chest like that set me off even more, but it didn't stop me being a little pissed that she was holding back when I was just so close.
"Bella," I sighed. "You're driving me crazy. You can't just stop now."
"I know," she rushed, "I'm not stopping. I'm just…I've never done this before, you know? And…I don't know if you'll…like me."
At this I threw my head back and laughed. "Bella, honey, how could I not like you?"
I softly lay my hands over hers and removed the cloth, dropping it to the floor with a light thump.
Bella looked up at me anxiously.
I was breathing as hard as if I'd run for days, and was hotter than I'd ever been, even in my life as a werewolf.
"Bella, you are honestly the most fucking beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life."
She gave a nervous giggle.
I snaked my nose between the soft mounds of porcelain flesh, like vanilla ice cream, topped with the perfect pink cherries that were her nipples. I loved the deliciously floral scent of her, the soft, unblemished smoothness of her skin. I traced a circle around her left breast, my tongue slipping out to catch a bead of sweat from under it.
"Oh, Jake," Bella repeated hoarsely. "Stop teasing, do something, anything."
So I did.
My heart pounding frantically in my chest, I lay my lips around her nipple, resting my tongue on top, and lightly, ever so softly, bit.
"Oh, Jacob," she gasped, almost involuntarily bucking up against me. I did it again, and felt her chest jumping up and down with her wild breath. All of a sudden, to my surprise, she sat up, flipping me over to straddle me on the bed, her breasts hanging down over me. Suddenly I saw the fierce part of Bella, the stubborn part; the part that had so keen on keeping her love for me down, the part that was nearly completely unafraid of three days of agony so she could be what her boyfriend—excuse me, fiancée—was.
She leaned down and kissed me fervently, hands running up and down my chest. I wrapped my arm around her back, holding her close to me. After a moment her hands paused at the top of my jeans. It took me a moment to realize what she wanted. I chuckled a little as she fiddled with the button, frustrated.
"Need some help with that?"
She glared at me. "No, thanks," she answered, frustration making her voice husky. Which turned me on, alot.
Finally she got the damn thing open, and quickly unzipped the zipper. With shaking hands she pulled down my jeans, till I was only in my boxer shorts. Her hands paused at the waistband, and she looked up at me, with both anticipation and nervousness in her eyes.
I swallowed, suddenly nervous too. "Go ahead, Bells," I murmured. If she didn't do it now, I thought my heart was going to come flying out of my chest.
She took a deep breath and with two hands pulled them down. I squirmed under her astonished gaze, biting my lip when she looked at me.
"Wow," she said finally. I gave a shaky laugh.
Looking down again, Bella traced patterns on my erection, making me shake with pleasure. I closed my eyes and moaned when she boldly put her whole hand around it and squeezed hard.
I heard her take another breath, and then I could feel her cool, soft lips, lightly caressing my dick with her tongue.
"Oh, God, Bella." I was throbbing so hard it hurt.
She wrapped her whole mouth around it and sucked, rubbing back and forth with her lips. When she stuck it particularly far down in her mouth, I couldn't take it anymore.
I came hard and fast, and tiny little Bella swallowed it all down with a funny sort of surprised expression on her face. I laughed, exhausted, and she pulled herself up to snuggle against my chest, wrapping her leg around mine.
"I really don't want to ever move from here," she whispered, tucking her head in my chest, "but I think I really need a glass of cold water."
I laughed loudly again and got up to grab her some ice water, pulling my boxers up as I went. I was back in a moment; I didn't want to be away from her for any longer than that.
When I got back she had pulled on her bra. Stifling my slight disappointment, I handed her the glass and lay back down beside her. A single drop spilled from her mouth and slid down to just under the top of her bra. Unafraid, I licked the cold drop up, grinning at her when she rolled her eyes. She put the glass on my bedside table and took my face in her hands.
"I should go," she murmured. I sighed and scanned down her beautiful frame, wanting to remember it forever. "But…" I met her eyes again, hopeful. "Maybe next time Edward's away…?"
I grinned, huge and warm, hugging her tight against my chest so we could both hear my loudly beating heart.
