Butterflies
I don't understand life sometimes. It throws something at you but it's something that you can't have, no matter how much you want it.
That was exactly how I felt during those first few weeks.
"OH MY GOD, JESS!" Lauren had whispered excitedly in my ear. I couldn't help but feel pleased that she was talking to me. "Have you seen the new kids?" I shook my head. In Forks, there were no such thing as new kids who arrived without turning the entire town upside down. I had religiously followed news of them, getting the latest gossip from my parents. I hadn't seen the family yet but I was sure that they'd never be able to live up to their rumours.
"What are they like?" I asked Lauren. Her eyes widened and she leaned in to tell me what she knew. I had a feeling that this lesson was going to go by very slowly.
"They, well, the guys, are DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS." Lauren had been known to go for anything in trousers so it was hardly surprising.
"And the girls are mega-fit!" Mike Newton rocked his chair back to join our conversation. I frowned. Was Mike EVER going to notice me?
"Really?" Lauren sneered. "I didn't really notice them. I don't think that they're anything special."
"Are they in this biology class?" I asked, interested. If Mike could fall for the new kids so quickly, so could I. Perhaps we could double date...
"That would be awesome except two of the guys are older than us." Lauren replied.
"And that hot blonde chick," Mike added. "Too bad."
"What about the rest?" I enquired. Lauren took one look at the door and squealed under her breath, which was, in Lauren-land, not very quietly at all.
"OHMYGOSH! No, don't look now! You'll make it obvious!" I reluctantly twisted my neck around again.
"The whole school's been talking about them all day. One more conversation isn't going to make much difference." Angela, who was sitting across the isle from Lauren leaned over.
"I'd hate to be talked about so much on my first day," Angela chipped in. "You guys should stop. It's not going to help them settle in." Lauren rolled her eyes at me.
"Angela, could you go preach at someone else, please? Or save it for daddy's sermons. I'm not in the mood right now."
"What's the matter now?" I sighed. Lauren clenched her fists.
"One of the new kids, the gorgeous dark-haired one...he's taken! It's SO unfair! I just can't believe..."
It was at that moment that my heart missed more than one beat. The most amazing guy EVER, in the history of the universe sauntered into MY biology class. Thank god there was an empty table in front of Lauren and me. His eyes, his face, his hair, his BODY, everything about him could have been selected carefully from a line-up of male models. I might have fallen off my chair if Lauren hadn't caught my arm and hissed in my ear.
"That's Edward." I nodded, unable to get words out. So this was what they meant by 'love at first sight'. I wondered if he'd noticed me yet. He must have, I was staring at him enough.
"Don't tell me that you like him!" Lauren muttered in disbelief. I shrugged.
"He seems...okay." Lauren sniffed.
"Perfect is the word that you're looking for, Jess. When I get Emmett, we can double date." Mike snorted quietly.
"He's not available, Lauren. That kinda mucks up that plan." Lauren scowled at Mike.
"You think that I'm going to let something stupid like existing girlfriends get in the way of my future relationships? Hell, no!"
Edward walked up to Mr Banner and received a textbook. They exchanged a few words that I couldn't hear and then smiled politely. Edward was directed to the free double bench in front of us. Excellent. When we dated, I could move and sit next to him. I was sure that Lauren could find some guy to sit with in Biology.
"Today we have a new student with us. This is Edward Cullen. I'd like everyone to welcome him into our class." Mr Banner sat down at his desk and started ruffling through a few papers. Cue Jessica.
"Hi!" I chirped, shifting my chair forward as far as I could before I was unable to breathe from being squished into the bench so tightly. Edward turned around very slowly and smiled politely. He then resumed his former position facing forward without speaking. Lauren and I exchanged a glance. No matter how gorgeous he was, there was something strange about him that made me want to run away. I fought that urge, believing it to be the symptom of some sudden love. That was all it was, stage fright.
"So, um...how are...you finding your first day?" I mumbled, having trouble getting the words out. What was the matter with me? Lauren and Mike were staring at me like I'd gone crazy.
"It's a nice school." Edward replied and then turned around again. Was he shy? Uninterested to the point of rudeness? I decided to try again.
"Where have you moved from then? Used to the cold and wet yet?" I tried to joke. Maybe humour would bring this guy out of his shell.
"Alaska." A single word in reply and he didn't even wait for my answer before facing the front again. What was his problem? And my joke had fallen flat because Alaska was probably one million times colder than it was in Forks.
"So you're used to the cold." Edward nodded and turned around halfway in his seat.
"Do you mind if I just..." he signalled to the unopened textbook in front of him. "I just want to do a bit of background reading before class. I should really try to catch up.." I nodded, feeling about three inches tall. At least I knew that he was hardworking.
"Sure!" I replied, trying to sound bright and breezy. "If you need any...uh help, just ask. Extra tutoring, after-school, err... whatever, I'm there." He nodded again and opened the textbook.
Why did I say that? Why weren't my words coming out right? Why had he hardly looked me in the eyes? Had I just embarrassed myself out of this century?
"Way to go." Lauren congratulated me with sarcasm. "And the award for most desperate schoolgirl goes to...Jessica Stanley."
"Ssshh!" I hissed. I hoped he hadn't heard that. At least he knew my name now. Damn! I should have introduced myself before! Why hadn't I done that? No wonder he was acting so weirdly!
I shook my head at my own stupidity and vowed not to mess it up again tomorrow. We had double biology after lunch. I couldn't wait. And then I remembered something amazing. Lauren had a doctor's appointment with the new doctor tomorrow afternoon. I suspected more STIs. Anyway, her absence would give me the perfect excuse to move to sit next to Edward! We'd get to talk all lesson. He'd probably ask me to the dance before the two hours were up! And then the rest would just fall into place.
Mrs Jessica Cullen...how much more perfect could life get? Imagine what our children would look like! They'd be supermodels!
I was definitely in love with Edward Cullen.
