16 years ago, August 10
A thunderous boom echoes through the factionless sector, lightning illuminates the sky. A large old, decrepit building falls nearby and leaves behind a cloud of thick dust and ash. A child's cry echoes through the empty streets, almost deafened by the thunder. The cries continue, more panicked and neglectful as time and storm passes. Desperate for love and attention, the child begins to scream, finally attracting the attention of a young Candor couple. The couple finds the young child, a baby girl, naked in an area that was missed by the larger pieces of cement. She is naked, factionless, by default. Not even a couple dedicated to honestly can leave an infant to die.
"Sincerity, you've gained weight around your midsection. You shouldn't eat so much food, you are too lazy to burn it off." My mother pats my stomach and continues toward the kitchen where she pulls a fresh loaf of bread out of the oven. I follow her into the kitchen and sit at the counter.
I inhale deeply enjoying the aroma of the bread before mumbling, "Thank you for your honesty." I do not know which faction I belong to, but I know I am no Candor. I hate having to listen to people tear each other down and, although I should be accustomed to this, I can't accept this way of life. I can't accept having to make my little sister cry because I don't like her drawing. I hate it. So, does that make me Amity?
I've lived the first 16 years of my life as an imposter. My family found me as an infant and I will always love them and be grateful for how they saved me. However, I've always found myself on the wrong side of my faction's honesty. I can't help but believe that I was meant for a different way of life.
Amity, the kind and peaceful. I find myself constantly rejecting Candor's manifesto. I rather lie to maintain peace than tell the truth and be faced with conflict.
Abnegation, the selfless. I do enjoy helping others but I don't know if I could do it for a lifetime...
Erudite, the intelligent. I love learning new things but I find myself following my heart more often than my brain which isn't logical at all.
Dauntless, the brave. I've never been able to predict what I would do in a situation where I had to risk my life for someone. My brain just freezes at the moment of decision.
My head is spinning trying to make sense of the fact that I have to decide who I am for the rest of my life tomorrow.
My mother slides a plate of mixed vegetables and a small slice of ham towards me. Confused, I look at her. "You need to eat less, Sincerity."
I hate my name. My name means sincerely but I know for a fact that I do not live up to my name. I wonder what I'll change it to. I pick up my fork and begin to push around the veggies on my plate. I've suddenly lost my appetite but I won't tell my mother. I'll just eat the food anyway and feel sickeningly full. After a few bites, I lay my fork on my plate and look up at my mother. "Mother, what faction were you born into?" It is considered taboo to ask about your parent's upbringing as it could sway your decision in the Choosing Ceremony but I have to know. I need to know.
She stares at me for a long period of time and then looks toward my plate of food. She grabs it with both hands and turns around to walk it to the sink behind her. When she returns, she heaves a heavy sigh and smiles weakly at me. "You aren't suppose to ask that question but I will answer it. Before I chose Candor, I was Erudite. I didn't want my life focused on numbers and graphs and figures, I wanted to be true to myself and here I am." She gives me a wide smile. "Now, no more questions. You should go to sleep, soon. You have an important decision to make tomorrow, dear." She gives me a kiss on the forehead and turns to begin on the dishes.
I stand from the counter and move towards the stairs to go to my room. Up the stairs, the first door on the left was Franco's room. It's been locked since the day he left and probably looks exactly the same. My mother only goes in there to dust. The next door is my room. I open my door and lay on my twin sized bed, staring at the ceiling.
What am I going to do tomorrow?
