A Series of Drunken Events

Authors: ApocalypticPyro & Anne Shard

Author's Notes: This is the prequel to the Green Dragon Interlude written in Anne's fic "The Fellowship of the Fanfic Writers." This will (hopefully) be a few chapters long...if we don't run out of ideas.

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the original LOTR characters. They belong to the wonderfully talented JRR Tolkien, and we'd never think of stealing his work.

Note for the Fangirls: No members of the Fellowship or the general cast of LOTR were harmed in the writing of this fic...except Legolas, who was hit in the head with a broomstick (Pyro's fault!). But other than that, nothing serious...wicked grin

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Chapter 1: Of Preparations and Invitations (Pyro's POV)

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A party at the Green Dragon. At the time I thought it was a good idea. Little did I know the chaos that would ensue. But before we get into that issue, let me start at the beginning: the preparations.

I should have heeded the warning the stars gave me. But no, the challenge that Linari had presented me with was torturing me, and my Elvish blood (all two drops) couldn't refuse to complete such a task. So, I, in my ignorance, began to organize a party at the Green Dragon.

First were the invitations. Odeena had volunteered to help me, so together we planned who we would invite to the party. We decided on sending a general invitation to every nation under the sun. So, we hand-wrote every invitation in graceful calligraphy, and sent them out by messenger. Eventually, everyone had responded, except the dwarves.

So far, so good, right? Wrong.

The whole start of the trouble began when complaint letters began to fill my mailbox, and angry e-mails overloaded my account. Where were these letters and e-mails coming from?

Three words for you: Angry, spiteful, dwarves.

Apparently, the dwarves had never received their invitations, and were furious with us. The letters they sent were very graphic, depicting the horrible deaths that were going to come upon us accompanied by some colorful language. I hastily wrote back to them and explained that I was extremely sorry, and that I had sent them an invitation despite the fact that they never received it. I told them that I would send another as soon as possible, and then, to myself, swore vengeance on the 'by the hour' messenger that I had hired. Jerk. I knew I never should have trusted him.

I quickly wrote up more invitations, and scared the living daylights out of the messenger by threatening him with locking him in a room with Gollum with a ring strapped around his neck. Let's just say that the angry e-mails stopped. Heh...

But that was to be the least of my troubles. The real headaches happened when I was at the Green Dragon the night of the party and, to my horror, I discovered that Merry and Pippin had cleaned out the cupboards, so to speak.

Now, usually I'm a pretty lenient person, but with all of the panic caused by the dwarves and the trauma of writing my US History paper, I was a hair from snapping. Unfortunately for Merry and Pippin, this is what pushed me over the edge.

The busy barroom of the Green Dragon emptied in record time when I came storming out of the storeroom. I held an empty burlap sack with, "Mushrooms," inked on the front in one hand, and a broomstick handle in the other. Merry and Pippin cowered in front of me, clutching their tankards in front of them like tiny shields.

"Did you do this?" I asked furiously. The two hobbits nodded meekly. Odeena peeked her head out from the kitchen door. She and Legolas were prepping the kitchen for the party.

"Pyro, what's wrong?" she inquired, eyeing the broomstick handle in my hand. Merry and Pippin launched themselves at her, clinging to her legs.

"Odeena! Save us!" sobbed Merry.

"We didn't know they were for the party!" whined Pippin. I cracked my neck. Odeena glanced at me questioningly.

"They've eaten everything for the party, Odeena. Everything!" I tossed the broomstick out the window like a javelin. A high-pitched screech came from the bushes just under the window. Legolas popped up, rubbing a large bump on his head.

"What was that for?!" he shrieked loudly, glaring at me. I shrugged, folding my arms over my chest stubbornly.

"I didn't mean to hit you...you just happened to be in the right place at the wrong time." I glared at him in return. "Besides, what are you doing out of the kitchen?" His cheeks colored.

"Uh...I was uh..." He spotted Sam walking by and grabbed him. "I was recruiting extra help."

"Gerroff me, elf!" shouted Sam, swinging at Legolas, who held the struggling Hobbit at arms length. "Lemme go!" Odeena rolled her eyes.

"Legolas, let him go!" she said, prying Merry and Pippin off her legs. "And get back into the kitchen." Legolas dropped Sam and stalked off to the kitchen, muttering something about Elf Labor Laws. Sam sniffed at him and stormed off; we could still see him twitching from a mile away. Odeena rounded on Merry and Pippin. "Now, you two are to go home and wait for the party. Afterwards, you will be doing ALL of the dishes. Not to mention you owe everyone an apology." The two muttered 'Yessum's and left, chiding each other on the way out of the pub.

I slumped back into a chair, rubbing my temples gingerly. "Now what are we going to do?" Odeena shrugged.

"I have no idea, but I can't cook enough for everyone coming...not even with your help." The girl flipped a chair around and sat down, resting her arms on the back of the chair. "What do you think?"

"Well, even if we could cook for all those people, we wouldn't have enough supplies. That's the main thing that's holding us back. We only have things like bread and corn left. Only grains." I sighed heavily, letting my head fall to the table in front of me.

"How many people are we expecting?" asked Legolas, who appeared from the kitchen.

"Over 100, and that's not including the Hobbits," stated Odeena, with a tired sigh. I wrung the burlap sack in my hands, ignoring the stinging pain the rough fabric caused against my palms.

"What exactly do we have left?" persisted Legolas, taking a seat on top of the table.

"Not much. Bread, corn, peas, carrots..." That was about all that was left from our supplies, and there wasn't much of those to begin with. "Maybe we could get the Hobbits to pitch in." Odeena perked up, snapping her fingers.

"I know! What if we had a contest?" she asked excitedly. I raised an eyebrow. "What if we had a contest for the best dish? Then we wouldn't have to cook that much and we'd have enough to every one." I thought for a moment, then smiled.

"It's brilliant! Send the word out immediately! Hobbits can't resist a contest like this." My grin turned into an evil smirk.

Odeena grinned and dragged Legolas back into the kitchen. I went into the back storeroom and began pulling out what little supplies we had left.

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Author's End Notes: Okay, that's chapter 1...what do you guys think? Anne is going to be putting up the second chapter as soon as she gets back from Italy... If you'd like to be incorporated into the story, let us know...and if you'd like something special done, let us know that as well, like if you want to meet a certain Fellowship member wink wink Anyways, review!!!!! Now!!!