A/N: Heyy, Sam here. (: I decided to write this oneshot until I get inspiration for Echoing Heart…so yup. It's a songfic, about Roxas and his dearly beloved Axel. Not gonna spoil it, so just read, m'kay? Thank you sooo much! Please R&R! Love you allll. (: Oh, and the last few paragraphs will be in Axel's POV! (Point of View) You'll be able to tell.
Warning: Possible suggestive scenes. Cussing, maybe.
Disclaimer: Although I own a bunch of Kingdom Hearts stuff, I don't officially own Kingdom Hearts. And I don't own the song "Talking to the Moon" by Bruno Mars. Not even on my iPod…
I know you're somewhere out there, somewhere far away.
I want you back, I want you back.
Dear A-
Hi, Ax-
Dearest-
My Love-
Axel,
Hey, babe. I know you think letters are cheesy, but where are you stationed now? I know being in the army can take you to lots of places, but I haven't heard from you in about 2 weeks. I miss you, y'know. I know you told me to "get it memorized in my puny little head" that you'd be back soon, but I'm not sure how long soon is.
My neighbors think I'm crazy, but they don't understand.
You're all I have.
You're all I have.
Man, you remember Sora right? Lives in the condo next to ours, mass of chocolate spikes, kinda looks like me? He and his boyfriend, Riku, think I'm crazy to wait for you. I just laugh and wave it off. They say long-distance relationships don't last, but I'm positive you're gonna be home. You're the reason I wake up in the morning, but the reason I don't sleep at night too.
At night when the stars light up my room, I sit by myself, talking to the moon.
I remember how you used to look at the stars with me, as we made wishes. We whispered them into the velvet sky, but not to each other. Or else they won't come true.
But the stars haven't been doing me any good. So I've resorted to the moon. It's much bigger, and it probably has a better attention span than balls of fire. I know, you just adore the stars, but I can't help it. My wishes aren't coming true. I would tell you my wish, darling, but you might walk yourself over back to Twilight Town and whip my ass for thinking such a thing. No, it's not dirty. It's just a little more personal.
Try to get to you, in hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too, or am I a fool? Who sits alone, talking to the moon?
Axel.
I'm feeling like I'm famous, the talk of the town. They say I've gone mad, yeah I've gone mad. But they don't know what I know, 'cause when the sun goes down, someone's talking back. Yeah they're talking back.
It's hard as hell to defend myself now that you're not here. People think I'm a psycho freak who spends all their time at night looking out the window and mumbling nonsense. But they're wrong. They have no idea what I've been going through without you around. I miss you. I really, honestly do.
I miss the way you'd hug me from behind and whisper "I love you" into my ear.
I miss how you would send me texts from across the room, wondering where I am so we could snuggle.
I miss how you would compose those beautiful melodies on the piano when I was sick. I still have the sheets, you know.
I miss how we'd break the law and climb to the top of the clock tower. We ate sea-salt ice cream and watched the egg-yolk sun set into the night.
I miss how rambunctious and daring you were. You would wake me up at 2 AM when you got home from your job at the bar just to tell me you love me and you'll see me in the morning. You would show up out of nowhere with a pack of sea-salt ice cream and split it with me. You would cover my eyes and bring me outside and tell me we're going on a vacation.
I miss your voice. So much. When I'm sitting alone at the kitchen table, I relive the days when we'd go out to karaoke. My voice was honest-to-God frightening, but yours was just, just…beautiful. It flowed like silver, and even if you were just talking, I knew I couldn't get enough of listening to you. Even if your stories were somewhat erotic.
I miss your laugh. Heartfelt, pure, real. You never came less than a chuckle. It was always a laugh that echoed for miles. It would be insane to call that beautiful too, huh?
I bet you have a lot of new army buddies. I hope you haven't replaced me though. I remember how you told me that you would talk about me to some of your friends, so they must know you're gay huh? Well, it's nothing out of the ordinary.
You better not have gotten any more tattoos. I know you used to hear me ranting over and over about how the ones under your eyes were more than enough, but I secretly find them sexy. Remember that for when you come home. I'll be doing a full-body inspection, Axel. So be ready.
I feel really lost without you. I mean, you've left home before, but this is the very first time that I haven't heard from you for such a long time. I'm not really sure what to say, since it might come out bad. I just wanna get straight to the point.
I miss you Axel.
I haven't been eating lately. I know you'd be worrying so much right now once you read this, but don't. I'll be just fine. Besides, take-out is nothing compared to your cooking, babe. Yup, I can smell your Chicken Parmigianino now…and your fabric softener. I swear, you always used too much of that stuff. It smelled soothing, but it was too strong.
My scars are healing. I could totally hear you screaming, "What scars?" but I don't think I can tell you. Not until you come back. But before that, we can have hot chocolate with extra marshmallows. We'll lounge around the TV and watch mindless soaps. I'll massage your back, 'cause you'll most likely be stiff. And then we'll ask how each other's lives have been. Just like old times.
Cleaning the condo gets my mind off things. I've managed to scour the tiles in the kitchen and bathroom. I'm currently working on our room, though it's kinda hard to leave your side of the bed untouched. You know I'm a restless sleeper. But everything's gotta be perfect for when you come home to me.
I've painted some of the walls. The kitchen is a striking red, just like your hair. I know you're gonna like it when you come back home. After all, it is your favorite color. The bathroom is royal blue, like my eyes. Your second-favorite color. I would know. You would always tell me that my eyes can only be gazed into by you, and you alone. Because you don't want some pedophile to see me and steal me away from you.
But I just can't take it anymore. I miss you so much, and I feel quite the sense of regret as I'm doing this, but it's gotta be done. I'm losing hope, Ax. My smile isn't as genuine as you'd remember. I don't laugh, only chuckle. I cry at night. I go through all of your clothes just to find your scent, and I end up sobbing afterward. Fabric softener with a hint of cigarettes. I'm tearing up as I write this.
So I just wanna let you know, I'm not gonna be here when you come home. If anything, I'll be by the window. The knife's under the cushion beneath the windowsill. I'll miss you Axel. As much as I do now.
So keep the house clean, make sure you eat, do laundry, and most of all, forget me.
Just forget that I existed. Forget how I stayed up late for you, waiting for you to come home from the bar. Forget that I made you your favorite breakfast every Saturday. Forget the fact that I loved you.
Just forget it all.
I wish you good luck in everything that you do. I know you'll succeed.
I'll be sending this letter out before I'm gone for good. Hopefully it'll find its way to you. Otherwise you'll be in for quite the surprise.
I loved you.
Roxas
At night when the stars light up my room, I sit by myself, talking to the moon. Try to get to you, in hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too, or am I a fool? Who sits alone, talking to the moon?
How could I have been so stupid? It's not my fault that my letter never went through. As soon as I got Roxas' letter I rushed home, only to find my lover slouching by the windowsill. I automatically knew he wasn't sleeping. Those eyes, those beautiful eyes were never to open again. I was gonna break out into a heart-wrenching sob until I pulled the letter out of my front jeans pocket, where I've been keeping it since I received it. About to tear it to shreds, I noticed something at the bottom.
PS: We're out of instant noodles.
A/N: Hmmm, not my best work, but I must say it didn't take me as long as I expected! Only…2 hours…never mind. Ahaha. I hope y'all liked this. Please R&R! (:
