Title: Living in the Now

Word Count: 461

Author: kawaii hime-sama

Date: 24th November 2009

-DISCLAIMER- I don't own Loveless, Yun Kouga does. If I owned Loveless, this wouldn't be a fanfiction, now would it?


I've always wondered how everyone else can be so lax with their emotions. Always showing them freely, never caring about how they come across.

I'm used to keeping everything inside, hiding all from those who don't need to know. This protects me, and protects others. I try not to let anyone to get too close, to save them from disappointment, mostly. I'll just end-up remembering who I am; the "real Ritsuka" will come back, and I probably would forget my new friends.

I was always told that only little babies should be permitted to have such outbursts of raw emotion; they can't control them anyway. But now I see that being able to let loose and show how you feel, allowing you to live in the now. Because now is the only time that really exists.

Yuiko is my complete mirror; she's hyper-active, doesn't know when to shut-up, and she's got a bubbly personality, though sometimes it can get a bit much. I don't know why I let her hang around with me some days. I guess I've gotten used to her way of living, really. But, when she puts her mind to it, she's actually quite smart. She brightens everyone's day, even if the rains pouring down the side of the windows. She's really something special.

Last year, I had my birthday. I still remember everything that happened, even if I do want to forget some things, but the memories are always there.

Next year, next week even, they don't exist. Not yet, at least.

Everyone plans for tomorrow, for the weekend, but those times never come, until it's today, now.

Soubi, he's always telling me that he loves me, maybe because the past times he said this, they don't exist anymore, and he repeats himself to keep our l-love going (but I'm not sure how I feel though). This keeps us together, I guess, and it's his way of telling me that expressing myself is okay, that it's a good thing.

So, all things considering; showing emotion is beneficial in many ways, and it helps bring those you care for closer to you, and you to them.

I'm going to take things into my own hands and live in the now, in the present.

"Soubi?"
"Yes, Ritsuka?"
"…I-I l-love you…"

Yea, expressing how you feel is definitely a good thing. It brings loved ones closer, and helps them understand what you mean.

"Ritsuka?"
"Yes, Soubi?"
"You do know I already knew that, don't you?"
"S-shut up…"
"It's alright, I love to hear you say it."
"That's good, 'cos I love to hear you say it t-"
"Oh really, then you'll be happy if I say it more then?"

But I guess too much of anything is a bad thing.


-khs

Don't ask me what started this…
I blame my English teacher and her endless ramblings while we study poetry…
And the last line is a quote from a classmate… ('cept he was talking about something completely different) Plus, I got bored on the bus coming home…
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this!!

Sayonara mina!