Barney stared at the featureless gray ceiling with an almost obsessive intensity. It was the only thing he could do to distract himself from the thoughts that haunted him. He couldn't sleep, but he certainly couldn't leave his room. So he just stared, hoping that sleep would come before his mind started to wander.

But, as they always did, those memories came rushing back to him. They were not sad memories. In fact, it was the sweeter recollections that pained him most. The better times, the days he could never retrieve, always reminded him of what he missed.

Sometimes it was the little things, like his suits. Oh, how he missed his suits. Barney had only the same gray tunic, white belt, gray boots and white tights that the facilitators recommended that all humans wear. He also missed his hair, or anyone's hair for that matter. A shaven head was also recommended, for both men and women. And, of course, you always did what the facilitators recommended, always.

Then the little things reminded him of the big things he missed, the people. Everyone he knew had been separated from him, and from each other, so that they could have a fresh start on their new life. But Barney wanted his old life back. He wished he were back at McLarren's with Ted, Lily, Marshall and Robin.

Oh, God! Now he was thinking about Robin. It was always memories of Robin which hurt the most. He missed her. He missed her beautiful, long brown hair. It was probably shaven off now. He missed her big blue eyes, and the way those eyes sparkled when she laughed her clear, musical laugh. It was hard for him to imagine that, somewhere, those same bold eyes were cast downward in submission, or that in the laugh that once rang out so beautifully was now muted by fear. There were no cigars or guns for Robin now.

But all his memories could not bring her back to him. She was still so far away, and he may never see her again. In all probability he would never see her again. He'd known Robin for four years, but he had wasted the time they had together, and now he could never tell her...

Barney had to wipe something out of his eye. Suddenly, he felt very tired, as though life had just become too exhausting for him to bear. His only escape was sleep, which he fell into thankfully, and dreamt about a life he could have had.

Author notes:

SQUEE! Epic squee, my friends. This is a fanfic I started several months hence (hence?) and have now resurrected it because, frankly, I'm in love with this idea and want to do crazy things to the charrys from my favorite shows. I think you will like it, and I'm always open to suggestions!