This is my first El-one shot, mixed with a poem. Hope you like it. It's just after day of the death. El in a church, revealing all his sins.

Losing my religion

Once a wise old man said,
Love, freedom and religion is all that matters in life,
I had to agree,

"Forgive me father,"

Tormented by his past, ghosts from a long time before, he looked down to his boots. Black leather boots, covered with remains of his victims, his enemies. Dark crimson drops of fluid covered half of the worn out leather.

His eyes flashed up, not wanting to remind his enemies he hadn't even known. They where Cartels and that was enough. But as a gunfighter, a legend, he also knew he destroyed families. Mothers cried, children grew up too fast and brothers swore vengeance. Today he killed his enemies and made so many more.

'This is my life, I chose this. To be a killer, a murderer. I have to, but it hurts.' He unclothed his fist and kissed the damaged cross he was holding. All because of my love,

Love,
What is a person worth,
If no one cares enough to love you,
Cries for you when you're hurt,
And give up everything for you
,

'I am a free man, live in Libertine.' He caressed the humble piece of silver. Freedom is all I crave. To be a part of this country, a part of the people and the music. Mexico is my home and always will be. I walk her full freedom,

Libertine,
Freedom is what you need to grow,
To find out who you are,
And what is good and bad,
Wrong and right,

'I lost the woman I loved more than the world, myself, my music. Because of what I've done, what I believed in. Was it worth it?' He swallowed and wished to block the spirits of his past. But it was too late.

There she was, his Carolina, beautiful as ever. But fear ran through her angelic face. Her eyes grow, her arms clutched around their daughter and she fell down, screaming for the last time. With all the willpower she had she looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears of grief, telling him just one pure thing. I'm sorry.

Hot tears of love and hate burned in his eyes. He took a long, deep breath.

"For I have sinned."

"God will forgive you my son, tell you my sins."

Religion
Have faith in people,
Believe in god,
Trust your life will be good,

He turned away from the dark window. Guilt took over. Again a deep breath and he started to speak with a low voice, scared He might be listening closely.

"I killed men this day, Father. Brothers of Mexico. But all sons of Judas. Stabbing honourable man in the back, raping women. Because of them Mexico cries crimson tears, Father."

"You sound very bitterly, my son."

"Si."

I had it all,
I had my freedom to travel my country,
And play my songs,
I had my religion,
A god that would look after me,
I had a love,
That loved me more than everyone,

"Do you feel remorse for the sins you've made today? For the lives you took?"

"No sé…"

It was the truth. At one side he felt horribly bad for the murders. It made him equal to the beast that slayed his angel. But on the other side, he'd kill the rats that intentionally came to this city and murdered the population on the day they had least expected. Dia de los Muertos.

A sorrowful sight.

The feeling inside was tearing him apart. He'd prayed so long to become the man he once was. A Mariachi. Not The Legend. Just a humblemusician. With honour and faith. He desperately wanted to be that man again.

But everything is taken from me,
My love is killed,
My religion lost my faith,
My freedom gets hunted,

"I'm sorry Father. But I can't become what I am not."

What will that wise old man say now,
When I tell him I've been betrayed,
By everything I believed in.

I hope you liked it. Please for all the love and joy review I need reviews! Lots of them!!!!

-x- Nuky