Ok, this is another thing that my sister and I came up with. I finally got her to allow me to put it on this sight, hehe.

Um, Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII. Believe me, if I did, then I would have Cloud or Reno (depending on my mood, really) as my love-slave and I'm sure my twin would be all over Sephiroth.
I also don't own this idea. My twin, Carly, is the one that wrote this, tho I did help some with the ideas.


7th Heaven

Loz walks into 7th Heaven, sits at the bar and gets a drink. He slams it back and puts it back on the counter, saying, "I hate my job."
Rufus Shin-Ra walks in, sits beside him, gets a drink and downs it, slamming it down on the counter, "I loath my job!!"
Kadaj comes in and sits with them, doing the same, getting a drink, downing it, and slamming the glass down, "I hate both of you."
They look at him, each other, then him again before Loz says, "But... I'm your older brother."
"Yeah, and 'cause of you no girls will come around because they think I need my big brother to go everywhere with me. Damn you!! You've ruined my sex life!"
Rufus laughs, "Didn't know you had one! Besides, your a kid, you don't need a woman." he leans against the bar, "I have all the woman I need!"
"Which couldn't be that many seeing as how he doesn't have anything to give." Kadaj whispers to Loz, who bursts into laughter.
Rufus glares at them, "Watch." he gets a girl to come over and, after only whispering things in her ear, gets her to agrea to go home with him later. He turns to them with satisfaction. "See?"
Kadaj and Loz look at each other before Loz nods to a girl, getting her to come over, "Hey, sweety, wanna come by my place and..." he wags his brows, whispers naughty things in her ear, and finally gets her to agrea. He grins at Rufus, "Ha!"
Kadaj shakes his head, "Watch this. Hey!" he gets a girl over and winks at her, waving back his hair and giving her a look and she cries, "TAKE ME NOW!" He looks at them. "Beat that!"
Rufus nudges Loz, "He's good... and how old is he?"
"He's a freakin' teenager!" Loz mutters pissed.
Rufus laughs and looks at a table with a couple of women and goes over and a few minutes later, comes back with a phone number.
"A number?" Loz shakes his head, going over to another table and getting a few numbers.

Kadaj takes one look at them and bursts into laughter.

Loz and Rufus look at each other then back, "What?"
"That's the Rejection Hotline!" Kadaj chokes out, laughing so hard he's crying.
Loz stares at the number in horror, "WHAT!!! How do you know?"

Kadaj hands him his phone, still laughing.

Rufus takes the phone, calls the number and hears, "This is the rejection hotline. You are probably thinking you scored big by getting this but YOU DIDN'T!! You're a scum sucking pedifile and a pervert and no one wants to date you!! You have nooooo sex appeal!! Live out your useless life without a woman, or take your life now! Make sure to leave your will in plain view so whoever wants may change it to their advantage seeing as how you wont need anything after you're DEAD!! Goodbye!" Rufus bursts into laughter. "He was right!!"

"Told you!" Kadaj laughs, but calms himself before going over to another table and coming back very shortly after with phone number, cell phone numbers, and a house key with an address. "Beat that!"

Loz growls, looking over at a girl and winking, getting her to blush and scurry away.

Rufus scoffs at this, grinning to a girl and wagging the eyebrows to make her blush and blow him a kiss.

Kadaj shakes his head at this, turning to look at a table of girls and, with a wink, a flip of the hair, and a look, gets all the girls to faint. He smiles victoriously.

Rufus and Loz stare at him, "He cheated." Rufus states.

Loz slams his fist down, grabbing a woman and kissing her, and when he stops she's all flushed and wanting more.

Rufus nods at his attempt at victory and grabs a woman, kisses her, and she slips her calling card in his jacket.

Loz and Rufus watch Kadaj as he grabs a woman, kisses her thoroughly, and when he's done, finds that she'd fainted from the kiss.

"Damn, he's good!" Rufus whistles.
"Not good, cocky!" Loz growls.

The "pissing contest" continues for awhile before they finally settle for a drinking contest. Kadaj and Loz, sadly, get plastered very quickly and Rufus, having slipped a few hundred bucks to the waitress, only had coca-cola and water, so he was well enough to even call Yazoo to get Kadaj and Loz. When Yazoo arrives, he curses up a storm.

"Damn it, you shit heads! Assholes! I cannot believe I have to lug your drunken asses home like this!!! AGAIN!! Why do you keep getting in drinking matches with Shin-Ra? You know he only drinks coke and water, never alchohal! Chicken shits!" he curses enough to make a sailor blush and cough as he pulls them out, knocking Kadaj out when he tried to make a move of him, thinking he was a girl. "Ass-pirate, you freakin' hell rat!!"


So, what do you think? I hope you liked it, cuz otherwise you would be hurting my sisters feelings, and then she'd be forced to hurt you. ^^