Disclaimer~ I do not own any ice age characters this is just a funny thought that went too far.


Things had soon settled back to normal amongst the herd, with the exception of the extra energy and enthusiasm that only a new baby could bring.

It wasn't long however before Sid again became restless. Helping his friends was easy as a lot of perseverance and love seemed to cure all. His own nagging discontent however was proving to be a lot more problematic.

Sid wanted his own family. He wanted it now!

Only Sid's inability to attract and keep a mate was holding him back. This was step one in achieving one's own family. Sid's mind was however stuck in step ten playing with ones adoring children, which was scaring every hopeful contender away. He really did not have the patience to allow things to happen in their own time as Manny suggested time and time again.

Elle understood what it was like to be so alone. After all she had had no luck with every male possum she tried to form a relationship with when she was growing up. She had given up eventually after failing to reach even first base in months of aggressive flirting during the last mating season. Now that she was a mammoth she had been successful in finding love, thanks partly/mostly to Sid bringing the two mammoths together despite themselves. She sorely wished she could do the same for him, but Manny seemed right in his view that Sid really was an impossible case.

Sid's defeated form lay dramatically slouched under a tree where the three mammoths grazed. Diego lay beside him. They made a good couple as the cat could sleep for eighteen hours a day and Sid could sulk for roughly that time, pausing only to play with Peaches (under Manny's watchful eye all the other kids wanted to kill Sid, as did most mammals, Manny included!) and gather food to eat during his long sulks.

Diego had no trouble with the opposite sex. Females approached him as they loved the wild rouge image. He, however had no intension of settling down. He had done the whole pack life thing, and preferred the freedom and adventure herd life offered.

Manny looked around to see Elle contemplating Sid, he had spent far too much time moping. Peaches was old enough to travel now, he decided it was time to go.

"Elle gather your brothers, I think it's time to move on."

"Already?"

"Yeah, I think the walking and a change of scenery will do us ALL good."

"Hmm, maybe it will, there may be some new adventure awaiting us in the next valley!" She joked as she nudged her husband playfully.

"Let's hope not!" He replied with real feeling. He had been seriously enjoying his down time with his new family lately. As much as he loved Sid he was in no mood for anymore of his weird adventures.

Diego went from supposed deep sleep to full alertness as his ears pricked with the whispered words adventure. "Come on Sloth, time to move." He gently pushed Sid with a paw.

"Sure sure I'm right behind you." Came Sid's reply as he sat unmoving.

Diego was not putting up with any of this. In a pack you moved regardless of whether you wanted to or not it just wasn't healthy to mope. He pulled Sid up by the scruff and set him on his feet before shoving him forward. Together they set off for new horizons.

After a few miles an eerie silence seemed to desend over the herd. The pine forest to the right appeared to be a little too dark, and the glacier walls to the left felt to be steering them on a predetermined course. Manney's hair began to stand on end. He looked to Diego , who sensed his unease. He scanned their surroundings listening and sniffing at the air.

"Nothing has been through here for days, but I can scout ahead if you like?"

"No I'm sure it's nothing. " Manny picked up Sid and set him on his back "Come on Sid the....." He struggled for a word that would fit, "The despondent, let's get a move on out of this valley."

A little further on Diego smelt the distinctive smell of blood and ash. Man.

"Humans have been through here. It might not be pretty up a head."

Manny paused, that was why he was feeling so edgy, he remembered his first encounter with man where he had lost everything dear to him. His silence caused the rest of the herd to pause, this was tough for him, they all understood.

Sid's silence however was down to the slow workings of his brain. The gloomy image did not really suit him as he had not been involved, so he skipped that and headed towards the fun encounter they had had with man. He could feel the excitement building within and blurted out, "Hey maybe its pinkie's herd!" Sid quickly became attuned to the mood as he heard the distinctive sound only six sets of eye balls make when rolling in unison. "Or maybe not! Anyway I wonder how our lil' Pinkie's t is doing?"

"Perhaps you would like to go on ahead and ask?"

"Ah, no I am sure he's fine." He was as scared of man as the next; even their sticks had it in for him.

"So who's Pinkie?" Elle asked.

"Just some kid me and Sid saved" Manny replied quickly" He got uh, lost from his heard, so we returned him, I doubt it will be his herd Sid, and I really doubt he would remember us."

Sid's spirits sank, he had loved Pinkie, those were good times.

Quietly and cautiously, they continued on.

The human camp site was an obvious scar on the landscape. Disturbed ground, black ash stains and debris littered the ground, the main thing was that it was empty.

Diego assumed it was only a temporary camp as judging by the strong scent of blood something big had been hunted here and they must have needed time to complete whatever it was they did with such large kills.

Huge boulders protruded from between the trees creating potholes and caves, the biggest one of these had been the scene of the hunt. Curious to learn a little more of their mysterious ways Diego ventured closer to the abandoned camp to investigate. The animal had been feline, and with cub, but not tiger. Possibly a cave lion, after all they were far north enough now to encroach on their territory. He felt a shiver rundown his spine cave lions were far bigger than sabres and also hunted mammoths in packs. If like sabres they cubed alone returning to the pride when the cubs were five weeks old then they were now in dangerous territory. For once He was glad the humans had eliminated this cat and hoped they would be successful in finding the rest of the pride.

"We had better move on fast."

"Sounds good to me, Crash, Eddie put down that human stuff before it kills you, and let's just please get moving."

The twins had discovered an abandoned hat and were trying it on while doing impressions of Manny. Peaches giggled at their antics."Just how is this supposed to kill us?

"Someone died to make that, someone possum sized." Diego taunted as he passed the boys. He grinned as realisation set in. The jaunty stripes were not too dissimilar to their own. Eddie threw the hat over Crash's head covering his eyes and raced to the safety of Elle's back.

"Urgh ugly zombie skin."Cried Eddie in jest, and then for real as he felt the hat bearing down on him. Quickly he wriggled free and raced to join crash "That was so unfunny Dude."

"What? I can't help if you scare easy!"

Sid was the only one to look back at Eddie's scream, He could have sworn the snow had moved or pounced on Eddie. Something here wasn't right. He felt drawn to trouble like nothing else and right now something was calling to him from within that particularly dark hole under an arrangement of boulders. He slid himself off of Manney's back catching his tail to drop gracefully into the snow.

Manny grimaced in pain as the fat sloth hung from his tail and bit back the desire to squash him in frount of Peaches. He had to be on his best behaviour around her since he noticed her mimicking his actions toward Sid with the other kids in the playground.

Slowly, after composing himself he turned to see Sid's backside protruding from between some precariously balanced boulders. His head was submerged completely in the cave formed by these heavy rocks. Just one knock and like a house of cards the pain in his ass would be formally known as Sid. He revelled wickedly in this thought for a minute before he was alerted to Diego rushing back to save Sid from his own stupidity.

He could not hear what they were saying but after Pulling Sid out roughly by the tail, Manny watched amazed as Diego crouched and crawled into the gap as far as he could! His eyes scanned up at to the thin layer of snow covering the boulder. Gracefully it began to fall gently down onto Sid and Diego below, as the rock ever so slightly shifted. Can they not see how unsteady the rocks were balanced?

The slow sound of grating stone shifting was a slow drawn out roar as Manny rushed in what seemed to take an eternity over to his friends and pull Diego out before the boulder landed neatly in the space he had a moment ago occupied.

Diego stared speechless as he realised how hard he had been pushing against the boulder to get under it a little further so as to reach his prize. He had just managed to reach it with his paws when Manny had pulled him free and now, whatever it was wriggled in his grip. Slowly he raised his paw to reveal a ball of white fur perfectly concealed in the snow. It was a cub. He gave it a sniff; it was a cave lion cub. It had survived the humans attack on its family and now sat frightened and lost looking up at him with big brown eyes. Diego wrinkled his nose in disgust at the cub and swiftly got up to go.

The cub turned his intense stare of utter hopelessness to Manny but his tiny size and white coat had meant that the mammoth had totally missed him. Last chance, he did not know what Sid was but he gave it his all and looked with total need to the smelly animal in front of him. If anything maybe he could eat it as it slept.

Well it was third time lucky as Sid scooped him up out of the snow and into a warm embrace.

Ellie saw the look of delight on Sid's face and smiled widely in response "who's this Sid?"

Manny squinted at the snow white ball and recognized it straight away as dangerous, his parents had told stories of huge white lions. "Sid put it down now!" He said sternly

"Buuuut Mannnyyyy!"Sid wailed

"No"

"Wait, what's wrong?"Came Ellie's voice

"No Sid IT is dangerous!"

"But!"

"No! And that's final cave lion's eat mammoth's!"

"But, So does Diego! And He's allowed in the herd"

"He would need a pack, that wouldn't."

Diego felt like protesting here, but felt wise not to.

"Maybe this one would be different; after all we're all a little odd here." Elle tried

"We would lose Peaches first, that is not a risk I am willing to take."

Manny turned and began to walk off ahead towards the brighter horizon as the valley opened up ahead.

Elle hung her head and turned to follow. "Sorry Sid."With her went Peaches, Crash and Eddie, leaving Diego, who tried not to look at Sid; instead he looked intently at his paws.

"Fine. Then I'm out of this heard! Me and snowball will be fine without you!"Sid Stood resolute, the cub hung glumly as his preferred dinner walked away, leaving him with something so smelly starving was again very likely.

Diego stood torn. Sid would do anything for the rest of them. He was an important member of this herd. It would be like being back in a pack to abandon him now. He had not been around for the whole egg episode like Manny and thought well if this is important to Sid, reluctantly he sighed" I'll help you."

Sid squealed with delight and crushed his friend fiercely.

"Sid" He gasped, as his breath was constricted "it's very young, we might not be able to save it."

"But we won't give up; we won't just abandon him because friends don't do that, not in this herd!"

"Oh heck, I'm with Sid on this." Elle turned from Manny's side and headed back.

"No way sis! Your mad!" Eddie leapt from her back to join Manny.

"And what about when it grows bigger and decides to eat you!" Manny called after her.

"It's only a baby! And besides it can no way be worse than those dinosaurs" came Elle's reply.

Sid held the cub aloft and stared lovingly up to his new baby. He breathed in deeply to prepare a solemn speech of 'friendship knows no bounds,' when he was caught off guard by the Sharpe little teeth gleaming back at him as the cub smiled. He squeaked instead" it will all work out ........I'm sure!" He added with a tad more certainty" Diego does not eat us and they must be practically cousins!"

Diego's hackles rose at the thought of this, but he stayed quiet. (Maybe it will die in the night with a little help).

"So what shall we do now?" Asked Ellie, after all this was now Sid's herd.

"Let's get going, come on Manny you can still tag along and see this all work out, I won't say I told you so or nothing"

Ellie could practically see steam fuming out of Manny's ears, and giggled as she followed Sid's slow lead. Eddie was for a moment torn between the Mammoths. Ellie was the best but Manny was right. Elle however would carry him so he hopped over to catch her up. Manny's frown deepened at this decision and reluctantly he followed. He soon found it difficult to drag meaningfully behind, as Sid's pace was so slow and caught up to walk with Ellie.

Sid plodded along carrying his now restless bundle. It wriggled, it squirmed, it had Sharpe little claws and evil little teeth, and to top it all off it was hungry! Something it expressed clearly as it chewed Sid's arm.

"Ow............... Ow!"

"You're holding it wrong."

"Snowball"

"You're still holding it wrong."

"Then maybe it's your turn to carry it"

"Snowball?"

"Ow!,Ow! Ow ! Here you carry him!" Like a hot potato Sid shoves his charge at Diego, Snowball makes a small 'ump!' sound as he hits the floor.

Diego looked horrified at the prospect of carrying a foreign cub.

"You did say that you would help Sid with that." Manny taunts as he passes. Diego sighed heavily, and l reached down to pick the cub up.

"NOOO! DON'T EAT HIM!"

Diego jumped back at the sound of Sid's scream of terror. "Sid!.......". Words failed him. Fighting back the urge to thump Sid he counted to ten before again attempting to pick the cub up. Snowball froze as the cage of teeth closed around him, and hung limp as he was carried, partly out of instinct, but mostly out of fear.

"Wow, he likes you!"

Angry silence.

"You know, I think you'd make a natural mother."

"Grrrr." He couldn't even swat Sid as walking required all four paws.

"I never knew you were this good with kids. Snowball looks soo happy with you carrying him. I feel guilty now not asking you to help with my kiddie day care thing".

Diego noticed the twins turn to face them, (if they dare join in, I will kill them! Them, Sid and Manny for being right). He glared at them perched on Elle's back, and growled.

Snowball shivered in fear and gulped.

"That's ok we can set up another kids club!"

"I think Diego would like that!" Chimed in Eddie, this was better than a pea shooter any day!

"Grrrrr."

"You would! You know I'm surprised that you don't have kids of your own if you're that keen on them. I always thought you were more the lone hunter type, you know, no ties, no responsibilities just you verses the world and stuff.

"Na, he'd like a whole pack of kids, He's just too ugly to find a mate."

"Grrrrrrr"

"No offence but, you are pretty ugly even for a predator."

"Grrrrrrrrrr!"

Snowball felt the teeth tighten a little and whimpered.

"Ahh, Snowball don't listen to them, not all predators are ugly! Guys your upsetting my baby! Quit it!" Sid threw a ball of snow missing them completely.

"Sorry Sid, we only meant to upset your mate not your kid as well."

"Guy's your going too far back there!" Elle warned

"Couldn't have one of your own, so you decided to adopt!"

"Manny I expected better from you!" She mock scolded.

"Oh that's ok, you see He remembers back when it was just the two of us, and we had a baby, and I suppose it's hard for him to accept that I've moved on now."

"You and Sid had a baby huh"

"No! It wasn't like that!"

"That's exactly how it was! Pinkie was our baby and Diego wanted to eat him and you would not let him."

"So why don't you tell us this story Hon? Because I'm confused you said that you all saved a baby"

"Uh well that's it really."

"Don't be modest, we had a great time. We travelled with Pinkie looking for his herd for ages in the worst weather, and Manny carried him and kept him warm and safe. And we fought off a pack of hungry tigers"

"How did it turnout?"

"Well we returned it to its herd, and that's that." Manny snapped.

"So it all ended well. I bet it will be the same for this little guy, in the mean time it sure is cute."

"What the cub, you won't think that soon when it's hungry."

"No I mean the pair of them, Sid and Diego bringing it up."

"Oh yeah, he won't commit to a female tiger but will commit to Sid, sweet! Nice one sis and I thought you were going to be boring on this!"

Diego spat the cub out."That's it. I'm not listening to this anymore".

"No, wait I can't do this alone!"

"It needs food Sid, just sit tight awhile." He stalked off

"Ah, so he goes to hunt and bring back fresh food for his family."Crash was not about to drop this game so easily.

"You know he could just eat possum"

"In his dreams."

"No I might feed you to him." Manny made to grab them. The twins dashed off of Elle and up into the canopy of the surrounding wood.

"This spot will do for tonight, Peaches has walked enough for one day." Manny pulled some branches down to browse, and settled down with his family.

Sid gathered a few leaves and made to settle with Snowball on a rock. He felt guilty eating when Snowball had been starving under that rock for so long, so tried to feed him the leaves. He pushed them into his snout, but Snowball's mouth would only open when Sid's arm or neck was close enough to be grabbed at.

Sid looked over at the mammoths eating together and a little doubt began to set in. Just then Diego returned with a dodo in his mouth.

"Wow that was quick."

"Easy prey, now do you want to feed him, or should I?" It was his turn to taunt.

"Weeell" Sid wasn't doing to back down easily,"How messy can it be?"

"A blood bath Sid, real messy, bits of meat and guts in your fur for weeks." Diego paused would anyone actually notice with Sid?"

They both stopped as a belch came from behind them. Snowball had devoured the entire bird.

"Ah there's my good little boy." Sid cooed.

"I'll just go feed myself then." Diego said mortified.

Snowball smiled contently in Sid's arms and yawned hugely.

As Manny and Elle lay side by side with their trunks curled around Peaches, Sid tried to curl lovingly around Snowball; his stomach did not do this apparently. He tried a few positions before settling on cuddling Snowball like a teddy while sucking his thumb.

When Diego returned he slept as far away from anyone as he possibly could. Sid was finally happy; the herd was still together, the cost to his self esteem however? What was he thinking?


A bit rushed. This is my first fan fic ever, inspired by the fantastic SidxDiego stories on this site. Hope it makes someone out there laugh!