Author's note: all usual disclaimers apply. An established relationship piece of nonsense for LucienJeanForever who dared me to work a particular scene into a story.


"Uncle Winston! Uncle Stuart!" The boy's arms flew around each of their waists in turn before tugging at their hands. "Come and see what Daddy got us for Christmas."

"Jake, what have I told you about annoying our guests?"

The boy looked up at his father who appeared from his study. Apart from his greying hair and laughter lines, and the glasses he now wore, they were peas in a pod. "Sorry, Daddy."

Tommy tousled his son's hair. "Go and tell your mother that our guests have arrived while I show your uncles to their rooms. Then you can show them your new toys."

The boy grinned. "Yes, Daddy." He ran off down the hall. "Muuuummm! Uncle Winston and Uncle Stuart are here."

Tommy shook his head. "I could have yelled out like that. Barbara's out the back with Oscar. Come in. How was the traffic?"

"Yeah, not bad," Winston said, "but I'm driving back. This one drove like he was trying to round up patients for his slab."

"Aye, it was not that bad."

"Are you two still fighting?" Barbara appeared around the corner with Jake holding her hand, and a shy little boy with a shock of red hair hiding behind her jeans. "Come on, Oscar. You'll trip me up crawling around my legs. I'm already down to one arm."

"What happened?" Winston asked. "It's not broken?"

"No, I sprained my shoulder testing out Jake's new swing."

"What were you doing on it? Somersaults?"

"Not exactly. Oscar, don't. No." She nodded over at her eldest son. "This one was a ball of energy but much easier than... Tommy can you grab Oscar? Ta. This rascal would try the patience of a saint, yet with Tommy, butter wouldn't melt in his mouth."

Tommy picked up Oscar then gave her an affectionate kiss on the cheek. "That's because he's just like you. I know how to tame him. I've had years of practice."

Barbara raised her eyebrows and smiled. "Oh, have you indeed?"

Jake tugged on his mother's hand. "Muuummm, Daddy has to take Uncle Winston and Uncle Stuart to their rooms so they can play with my swing and watch me ride my bike." He turned to the men. "It's blue and has silver training wheels."

"Jake," his father said, "you know where your uncles are staying. Why don't you be the man of the house and escort them?"

Jake's face lit up in a huge smile. "Come on, this way."

"Nice," Barbara said as they watched Jake lead their guests up the stairs. "More Earl training?"

"Not really, but he likes to feel grown up."

"He's six going on forty-six."

"He still likes to play on his swing set." Tommy put his arm around her good shoulder.

Barbara laughed then snuggled into him. "So do you if I recall correctly."

"Hmm, yes, it was fun." They exchanged a leisurely but surprisingly passionate kiss. "After," he whispered.


"What happened to Mummy's arm?" Stuart asked as the boy led them down the corridor.

"She fell off my swing when she and Daddy were making babies."

"She what?" Stuart stared at Winston.

"She and Daddy were making babies on my swing and Mummy flew off and hurt her shoulder. I'm not allowed to go too high without Daddy there in case I fly off too."

"How do you know they were making babies?" Winston asked. "Did you see them?"

"No. I heard Daddy telling Auntie Judith on the phone. Daddy keeps asking Mummy to make him a little girl, but she says no. I don't want a sister. I want another little brother. Oscar's okay, but he's not very smart. He can't even play chess with me."

"He's three," Stuart reminded him. "You couldn't play chess until you were five."

"That seems so long ago. Okay, this is your room Uncle Stuart, and you are next door Uncle Winston. Hurry up so we can play." The lad turned and ran back downstairs.

The two men smiled at each other. "He's definitely Lynley's son," Stuart said.

"Was there ever any doubt? Barbara had eyes only for Lynley since they met. How do you make babies on a swing?"

"Carefully. It seems Barbara got carried away and..." Stuart raised his hands and made imitation inverted commas signs. "Came off."

Winston stared at him then burst into laughter. "How are we going to keep a straight face?"


It was nearly eight by the time Tommy was ready for dinner. He came into the large lounge area and sat on the arm of the sofa. "Right, they've been fed, bathed and read to. Hopefully, they will sleep until morning."

Barbara smiled up at him. "Thank you. Whatever would I do without you?"

"You two have quite a routine here," Stuart said, "who would believe you two are so domesticated?"

Tommy looked down over his glasses at his guest. "You make us sound like wild animals, I was always domesticated. Barbara took a bit of breaking in."

She squeezed his knee. "I wasn't exactly swinging through the trees going oo-oo-oo."

Winston choked on his beer. Everyone turned to look at him. "Sorry."

Stuart started to laugh. Winston joined in. Tommy looked at Barbara and frowned. "What's so funny?"

"Barbara swinging from a tree," Winston said when he caught his breath. "She's not very good with swings."

"Or maybe she's too good," Stuart suggested. He and Winston dissolved into laughter again.

"What is the matter with you two?" Tommy asked. "Should we eat?"

They adjourned to the dining room. Barbara had asked Cook to make a simple meal. There was plenty of fresh crusty bread on the table along with butter, salt, olive oil and balsamic, and some dukkah. A large silver bowl on the sideboard was being warmed by an oil burner. Beside that sat a covered platter and a large salad bowl.

"Rigatoni pasta with bolognese. There's grilled Mediterranean vegetables or salad. And I have a special dessert in the fridge."

Stuart turned to Winston. "Domesticated."

Tommy filled Barbara's plate for her and tore up her bread. "Barbara is a bit restricted at the moment," he explained.

Stuart and Winston started giggling again.

"Alright, spill," Barbara demanded, "what's so funny?"

Winston grinned at them. "Jake told us how it happened."

Barbara turned red. "Oh? He wasn't there and has a vivid imagination like his father."

Winston and Stuart started laughing again. "We have been speculating exactly how you manage that on a swing. We're you sitting on his lap? Or was he standing with you..."

"Stuart!"

"Oh relax, Tommy-boy."

"What exactly did Jake say?" Barbara asked cautiously.

Winston tried to look serious. "That you were making him a baby sister and flew off the swing."

Barbara turned to Tommy who looked decidedly sheepish. "And where would he get that idea from?" Tommy shrugged. "Well, it wasn't me. What did you tell him, Thomas Lynley?"

"Nothing. I swear and certainly not that. You were there when we explained you had been testing in for him and better for you to fall off than him."

"He wouldn't make that up."

Tommy shrugged. "Wishful thinking?"

Barbara growled something under her breath. "Jake wants a brother, not a sister. It's you that wants a daughter."

"Hey, no fighting. Jake said he overheard Tommy telling his sister," Stuart said.

"You told Judith what happened?"

"So it is true!" Winston looked shocked.

"Not exactly. We were not trying for another child." She gave Tommy a deathly glare.

"That's just the code Judith and I always use to talk about sex. I didn't mean we were actually trying."

Barbara poked her husband in the chest with her fork. "You talk to your sister about our sex life?"

"No!" Tommy hastily assured her. "It was code when we were kids. I... I did tell her about this because she asked how your accident happened and... well... it was funny."

"Well, there will be no more 'making babies' for you until my arm heals. I think it might take about five years." Barbara stabbed some rigatoni and ate it with a look of satisfaction.

Everyone started to laugh.


Tommy helped Barbara to bed then went to kiss her. She turned her head away. "Not on your life, sunshine."

He snuggled next to her. "I'm sorry. I had no idea Jake heard me. Or that he would tell the others." He nuzzled her neck just behind the ear in the place he knew drove her wild. "Am I really in the bad books?"

Barbara turned her heard towards him. "No, as you very well know."

Tommy nibbled her ear. "Good, because I would really like to make babies tonight," he said in a low, seductive voice that he knew she could never resist.

"Randy old bugger."

"You never usually complain." Tommy started to unbutton her pyjama top. "With that shoulder, do you want to play cowgirl?"

"Last time we tried that I nearly broke my neck, and..." Her objections were lost in their kiss.

Tommy knelt up and pulled his tee-shirt over his head. "Or we can..."

"Tommy..." she interrupted as he pulled down his boxers. "Before we do..."

Tommy removed her pants. "Mmm?"

"I'm late."

Tommy was kissing her stomach and working his way up between her breasts. "Huh?" he muttered with vague disinterest.

"Tommy. Listen to me. I'm late. At my age, it might be the start of menopause, or..."

He sat up and grinned at her. "Or we might be pregnant?"

"I don't know. I thought I'd wait another week before I did a test, but... just in case, I thought I should say."

Tommy lay beside her and caressed her arm. "Are you upset if you are?"

"No, not really. But three will be it. No fourth. We're already a bit too old for another one."

Tommy pulled her into his arms taking care not to knock her sore shoulder. "I hope you are, but only if you are happy. I know I joke about it, but you haven't felt pressured have you?"

"No. I've just been letting nature decide."

"So... maybe it was that night in London after we went to Lord Hamilton's Christmas party?"

"Why then? It could have been almost any night around then."

He grinned at her. "Because at the party they had that silly parlour game of lighting Christmas bungers and making a wish. That was mine. And that night, I tried very hard to make sure it happened."

She ran her fingers across his chest. "How can you make sure?"

"Think about it." He began to kiss her neck again. "Long, slow... You said yourself it was the best sex we have had in ages."

Barbara felt her face blush. "Hmm, I did. It was... not that normal isn't great too. Except for that one time."

Tommy lifted his head. "What one time?"

"That night up on the cliff when you didn't take a torch and managed to find the only ants nest in miles to lie me on."

"You weren't complaining at the time."

"I didn't feel them biting until after we stopped."

Tommy laughed softly. "You were jumping up and down and brushing them off like it was a native war dance."

"Yeah, well I had the last laugh."

Tommy remembered. An ant had bitten him in a very painful spot. "You did indeed. The swelling didn't go down for days."

Barbara's hand grabbed him. "Speaking of which. Why don't you shut up and come down here."

He grinned at her then happily obeyed.