Written for comment_fic on livejournal, a multi-fandom fic prompting community
Prompt was H/E, vicious lies
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"C'mon, Eliot. Say something in character."
"I'm not doing this, Hardison. This is dumb. And I didn't even like that movie," Eliot griped as he paced Alec's living room, pulling uncomfortably at the costume Alec had bought for him.
"Okay, first of all, you DID like the movie. I was there. You liked it, and any suggestion otherwise is just a vicious, vicious lie. And second: tonight it's MY turn. Last night I wore that thing you liked. With the thing and the other thing."
Eliot grinned at the memory. "Yeah, you looked good."
Hardison smiled, "I always like it when you state the obvious. But now? Now it's my turn."
Eliot went back to scowling. "This has got to be the stupidest -"
"Hey now! Open-mindedness is the key to an trusting relationship!" Alec smirked.
Eliot narrowed his eyes. "You really want me to be in character?"
"Absolutely, Captain," Alec said, leaning in closer to nibble at Eliot's jaw.
Eliot smiled and said, "Then I guess you have to follow my orders" as he swiftly put Alec's larger body down onto the couch.
Alec smiled back and said, "Consider it my prime directive."
"Fine. I order you to admit that I'm sexier than Captain Kirk."
Alec tried, "What do you mean Captain? Is there some other Captain Kirk running around? Perhaps one from an evil parallel dimension?"
"I mean it, Hardison. Say that I'm sexier than Kirk. I'm sexier, I have better hair, and I could beat him in a fight. And I would have found a way to save that planet. Because Kirk could have if he really wanted to."
"You are NOT right in the head if you think I'm saying all of that Eliot! That is a LIE!"
Eliot smiled, predatory. "Say that I'm sexier and I'll do things to you..." Eliot paused to lick his lips, "That the mere thought of would make Kirk lie down and weep."
Hardison gaped for a moment. He momentarily was tempted to say that it would go against Star Fleet regulations to sleep with a superior officer, but he immediately reminded himself that having Eliot work on him all night was one of the few situations where the reality would surely be far, far better than the fantasy.
So he said, "I guess you do look a little better than Kirk in that uniform."
Eliot smiled and started undressing Hardison. He ignored it when a moment later, Hardison mumbled, softly as he could, "But not quite as sexy as Spock."
