xXx
"Oh my god!" Tina gasped, "Is that-?"
"It is!" Mike burst into laughter.
They were in Tina's living room watching youtube videos. They ended up watching a Harry Potter parody and recognized a certain someone wearing round glasses with a lightning shaped scar drawn on his forehead.
"He has an afro!" Tina squealed.
"Oh my god," Mike's eyes were watering, "N.D. is going to hear about this!"
"I got this covered." Tina pulled out her cell and sent out a mass text to everyone in glee saying 'Watch A Very Potter Musical on Youtube! Do you recognize someone?', making sure to leave Kurt out.
They watched the whole play and thought up countless ways to harass Kurt and his boyfriend the next day.
xXx
"Stop sending me texts about farting pigs and how 'Supermegafoxyawesomehot' my boyfriend is!" Kurt was saying as he entered the choir room where eleven other teenagers were laughing too hard to talk.
"I'm going to Pigfarts!" Brittany yelled.
"Are you okay Brit?" Mr. Schue asked.
"Can we sing an AVPM song today, Mr. Schue?" Santanna asked, "We can get Blaine so that it's just like the original, but with better back up singers."
"Oh, that was Blaine!" Finn suddenly shouted, "I was wondering if maybe Sam was Draco or something and that's who I was supposed to recognize."
"Is that why you said I used to sound like a girl?" Sam questioned.
"What are you talking about?" Kurt asked, "What is this about Blaine and what does this have to do with Harry Potter?"
"Your boyfriend is famous!" Brittany cheered, "A famous dolphin!"
"What?" Kurt didn't get his friends, were they even sane?
Artie suddenly randomly yelled, "RUMBLEROAR!" and the rest of the class just laughed even harder.
"That's it!" Kurt whipped out his cell phone and pressed his number three speed dial.
"Hello beautiful?" Blaine answered in his most flirty voice.
"Could you please explain my weird-o friends' behavior?" Kurt put the cell on speaker.
"Hey Blaine," Finn said, "if you and Kurt get married will you go to Winnipeg for the honeymoon?"
"That's in Canada!" Artie shouted.
"Oh god no!" Blaine practically screamed.
"Blaine what is this about?" Kurt asked.
"I would perfer that you never find out." Blaine groaned.
"Kurt," Mercedes said, "Blaine thinks you're supermegafoxyawesomehot!"
"Please stop!" Blaine begged.
"How am I the only one who has no idea what this is about?" Kurt pouted.
"Don't worry, it's stupid." Quinn rolled her eyes.
"God, Quinn," Tina held back a laugh as she said, "You're acting like Garfield on a Monday."
"Nice!" Mike gave his girlfriend a high five.
"Please don't pay any attention to them Kurt!" Blaine was saying from the phone, "I'll explain tonight, meet me at the coffee shop at five."
"Get some." Puck chuckled.
"See you later babe." Kurt said to his boyfriend and hung up.
"Let's get to work!" Mr. Schue said as he clapped his hands together.
Artie smiled and once again screamed, "RUMBLEROAR!"
xXx
"So..." Kurt gazed at his uniformed boyfriend who was sitting across the table from him sipping a latte.
"Well," Blaine sighed, knowing he couldn't put it off any longer, "I didn't want to tell you because I actually want to keep my dignity in tact. It's kind of embarrassing."
"Oh, I'll still love you." Kurt assured him, "Unless you have an eleventh toe because I just can't love that." Kurt joked.
"Okay," Blaine started to blush as he said, "I was Harry Potter in a Harry Potter parody musical that Wes wrote a few years back. We performed it with our sister school and someone decided to film it and put it on Youtube and it went viral."
Kurt was gaping, "So, you're famous?"
"No. Well... Kinda. I've met some people who freaked out and asked for my autograph." Blaine informed him.
Kurt processed this and then burst into laughter, "Ohmygosh!"
"Please don't dump me!" Blaine burried his head in his hands.
"Why would I dump you?" Kurt was still trying to catch his breath, "You're amazing AND famous!"
"Oh, you will if you see it." Blaine was still blushing, "Promise me you wont watch it?"
Kurt frowned, "But then my friends are going to keep making those references and I'll be left out."
"Please, PLEASE, Kurt!" Blaine was seriously starting to regret not getting the videos removed.
"I don't know Blainey," Blaine almost flinched at the lame pet name, "It's a big sacrifice."
"Okay Kurt, you made me do this!" Blaine engaged his puppy dog face, Kurt could never resist it, "PLEASE!"
Kurt sighed dramatically, "Okay, anything for you."
Blaine did a fist pump, "You're the best."
Kurt slouched back and crossed his arms, "I better be Anderson."
Blaine reached across the table and grabbed Kurt's hands, "I love you, Kurt."
Kurt leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek, "I love you, too, Blaine."
xXx
Kurt had suffered through an entire week of AVPM references that he didn't understand, but he had made a promise to Blaine and he wasn't going to break it. Finn and Rachel made a poster that said 'Mr. Schue's Glee Club Is SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot!' on it.
"Everyone ready?" Mr. Schue asked from his seat in the auditorium.
The glee kids were all on stage and psyched up for their performance, Blaine had agreed to sing his parts due to the fact that no one else could do it better. "Yeah!" A few of the talented teens cheered.
"And go." Mr. Schue ordered.
Blane began his part.
"Underneath these stairs I hear the sneers and feel glares of My cousin, my uncle and my aunt.
Can't believe how cruel they are And it stings my lighting scar To know that they'll never ever give me what I want.
I know I don't deserve these Stupid rules made by the Dursleys Here on Privet drive.
Can't take all of these muggles,
But despite all of my struggles,
I'm still alive.
I m sick of summer and this waiting around.
Man, it s September, and I m skipping this town Hey It s no mystery, there s nothing here for me now I gotta get back to Hogwarts,
I gotta get back to school.
Gotta get myself to Hogwarts,
Where everybody knows I'm cool.
Back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts,
To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts.
It s all that I love, and it's all that I need.
HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS, I think I'm going back-
I'll see my friends, gonna laugh 'til we cry Take my Firebolt, gonna take to the sky NO WAY this year anyone's gonna die, and it's gonna be totally awesome I'll cast some spells, with a flick of my wand Defeat the dark arts, yeah bring it on!
And do it all with my best friend Ron, 'cuz together we're totally awesome!"
Sam joined in and sang.
"yeah, and it's gonna be totally awesome!
It's been so long, but we're going back Don 't go for work, don't go there for class"
Blaine:
"As long as were together-"
Sam:
"- gonna kick some ass"
Blaine and Sam:
"... and it s gonna be totally awesome!
This year we'll take everybody by storm,
Stay up all night, sneak out of our dorm"
Rachel joined in there.
"But let's not forget that we need to perform well in class If we want to pass our OWLS!"
Everyone pretended to be annoyed by her (well some didn't need to).
"I may be frumpy, but I'm super smart Check out my grades, they're "A's" for a start What I lack in looks well I make up in heart,
And well guys, yeah, that's totally awesome This year I plan to study a lot..."
Sam:
That would be cool if you were actually hot
Blaine:
Hey Ron, come on, we're the only friends that she's got!
Sam:
"And that's cool..."
Rachel:
"... and that's totally awesome"
Blaine, Sam, and Rachel:
"Yeah it's so cool, and it's totally awesome!"
The singers made the propper hand guestures.
Blaine, Sam, and Rachel:
"We're sick of summer and this waiting around It's like we're sitting in the lost and found Don't take no sorcery For anyone to see how...
We gotta get back to Hogwarts We gotta get back to school We gotta get back to Hogwarts Where everything is magic-cooooool"
Everyone else joined into the song.
"Back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts It's all that I love, and it's all that I need at HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS"
Blaine, Rachel, and Sam:
"- I think we're going back..."
Tina and Mercedes began to sing together.
"Cho Chang Domo arigato, Cho Chang Gung Hey Fat Choy, Chang Happy Happy New Year, Cho Chang"
Finn strode over to them and put his arms out dramatically as he sang.
"Oh, Cho Chang I am so in love with Cho Chang From Bangkok to Ding Dang I sing my love aloud for Cho Chang"
Rachel rolled her eyes and Kurt started to sing.
"This year you bet I m gonna get outta here The reign of Malfoy is drawing near I ll have the greatest wizard career,
And its gonna be totally awesome Look out world, for the dawn of the day When everyone will do whatever I say And that Potter wont be in my way, and then I ll be the one who is totally awesome!"
Kurt's voice almost sounded evil when he sang that. Artie sang.
"Yeah you ll be the one who is totally awesome."
Everyone:
"Who knows how fast this years gonna go?
Hand me a glass, let the butterbeer flow"
Blaine:
"Maybe at last, I m gonna talk to Cho,"
Sam:
"Oh no, that be WAY too awesome"
Everyone:
"We re back to learn everything that we can It s great to come back to where we began And here we are, and alakazam! here we go, this is totally awesome!
Come on and teach us everything you know The summer s over and were itchin to go I think were ready for-"
Brittany sang cheerfully.
"Albus Dumbledore!"
Everyone harmonized in the backround.
"Oooooo Ahhhhhh."
Puck went to the front of the stage at he sang.
"Welcome, all of you to Hogwarts I Welcome back you all to school Did you know that here at Hogwarts We ve got a hidden swimming pool?
Welcome, welcome, welcome Hogwarts Welcome, all you hotties, nerds, and tools"
Everyone:
"Back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts It's all that I love, and all that I need.
At HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS,
Back to spells and enchantments, potions and friends To-"
Blaine, Sam, Brittany, and Rachel:
"Gryffindors!"
Finn, Mike, and Quinn:
"Hufflepuffs!"
Tina, Santanna, and Mercedes:
"Ravenclaws!"
Kurt, Puck, and Artie:
"Slytherins!"
Everyone:
"Back to the place where our story begins It s Hogwarts, Hogwarts,"
Puck:
"I m sorry, what s its name?"
Everyone:
"Hogwarts, Hogwarts"
Puck:
"I didn t hear you kids!"
Everyone:
"Hogwarts, Hogwarts"
Everyone posed around Blaine as he said
"Man, I m glad I m back!"
Everyone bust into laughter at the end.
Mr. Schue watched them exchange hugs and compliments, glad that no matter how bad they got it, they always had each other.
xXx
A/N: Okay, so that's like a 9 minute song. This fic was practically dripping with AVPM-ness so if you havn't seen it then go to Youtube and look up 'A Very Potter Musical Act 1 Scene 1' It's HALARIOUS!
