Okay, first off, this is my first Law and Order: SVU fic that I've posted. I am currently working on several others that I seemed to have lost interest in or they just seem to be going nowhere. But I do have one or two I will get around to posting when someone will volunteer to be a beta reader for me cuz God knows that I have made several mistakes. Please R&R and be a bit gentle, thanks :) this is set post-Charisma I guess, cuz its set before Olivia and everyone else know that Elliot and Kathy are separated, or it could just be pre-Doubt. And I don't remember or if they even say how long it's been since Kathy left him, so I just kinda made it up.
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She fucked her partner. Her married partner none the less. Olivia Benson is not a home wrecker, she thought to herself s sat on the edge of her bed, Elliot snoring on the opposite side. She hung her head low before pulling her naked form off of her bed and headed for the bathroom. She stood under the warm spray of her shower, erasing any evidence of him from her body, until the water ran ice cold. She wrapped her shivering body in a towel before heading back to her bedroom, where she pulled an old t-shirt and a pair of lavender panties out of her dresser. She slipped the clothes on after dropping the towel to the floor, then retrieving the towel off the floor once dressed. She towel dried her hair and then went into the bathroom to run a comb through her hair. Not wanting to be next him when she woke up, she took her pillow off her bed, went to her small hall closet and pulled a blanket out before going to her couch and curled up. The last thing she felt was a small shot of pain between her legs.
And it seemed she'd only just fallen asleep, she was being shaken awake.
"Go away," she mumbled and turned over, burying her face into the back of her couch.
"Liv, you need to get up. We're late for work," Elliot's detached voice says.
"Letmesleep," her words slurred together. He almost snickers, but instead picks her off the couch.
"Whereyatakinme?" her words still garbled together and this time he couldn't resist a small snicker. She felt him gently shake with the snicker.
"Back to your bed," he says depositing her on to said bed.
"Tell Cragen I'm sick," she manages to get out in an ungarbled whisper. She didn't see his nod as she fell asleep.
When she woke up again, it was nearly four pm, and she was assaulted by Elliot's scent on the pillow her head was on. She was also confused for a moment, and then she remembered what had happened that morning. She groaned and reached blindly for her cell phone, with all intents and purposes of ordering Chinese food for dinner, but was quickly shot down when she saw she had 23 missed calls; one from Elliot and twenty-two from her friend Vanessa. Seeing only one voicemail, she assumed was from Elliot, but she pressed down on the number one to call her voicemail. The automated female voice greeted her and asked for her password. After entering said password, she didn't wait for the greeting to commence and simply pressed one-one.
"Hey, Liv, it's me. Uh, when you get this give me a call, okay?" Elliot's recorded voice says. She deleted the message and ended her voicemail session. She pressed speed dial number two and he picked up on the second ring.
"Stabler."
"Hey, you wanted me to call. So what's up?" She asks as she pulls herself out of bed and walks into her living room grabbing the pillow that she had taken the previous night, and then headed back to her room.
"You sitting down?"
"Yeah, why? What's wrong?" She asks as she leans against the pillow she propped up against her headboard.
"Your friend, Vanessa, she was, she was raped, Liv. Then tried to commit suicide."
"That, that's why she was so desperately trying to get a hold of me, isn't? To talk to me?" she asks after a minute of silence.
"Hey, don't blame yourself Olivia," he reprimands her, knowing exactly what she was thinking.
"Am not."
"Liv, I know you better than anyone else. You're blaming yourself."
"Maybe a little," she concedes, deciding this is a battle she'll lose anyway.
"Cap wants to know if you'll be back to work tomorrow or if you need another day?" He asks after a moment of silence.
"Tell him I believe so. El, look, about last night…" she starts, trailing off.
"Later, Liv. We'll talk about it later, okay?" He says quietly.
"Elliot-"
"Later, Olivia," his voice coming out in a growl over the phone.
"Call me later then," she says, waiting for him to agree.
"I can be there in hour. Want Chinese?"
"Yeah, the usual," she sighs in defeat.
"Alright."
"Let yourself in," she says.
"See you then."
"Yeah," she says before hanging up.
An hour later, she heard her front door opening, then Elliot rummaging around in her kitchen.
"Liv?"
"In my room, El," she calls from her place on her bed. She smelled the Chinese food before she saw him.
"Hey, how you feeling?" he asks as he leans against her door frame, one hand had the Chinese food and the other had the utensils.
"Sore, tired, and hungry, so why don't you bring that bag over here before I reach into the table over here and shoot you," she teases from her sitting position across from her TV, which she had muted a long time ago. He smiles and moves towards the bed, he hesitated when he got to the bed, he just looked at it.
"Come on, Elliot, we're adults. Its fine, sit," she says patting the bed beside her. He smiles tightly before he sat down and placed the bag and the utensils on the bed between them.
"I'm sorry," he apologizes abruptly.
"El, please don't apologize, its fine. Really," she says as she opens the bag and starts to fill her plate with lo Mein noodles.
"If you can't walk, I obviously hurt you," he says as she begins to eat after filling more of her plate with general Taos chicken.
"It's not so much that I can't walk, I just find it uncomfortable. And El, you didn't hurt me, its just been a really long time since I've been with anyone," she says after she finishes chewing.
"Olivia, I- Last night cannot happen again. I-I love my wife, I can't lose my job, and-"
"El, I understand. I do. But, but what if this comes back to bite us in the ass? Elliot, we didn't use anything, I mean, I am on the pill but-"
"We'll take it as it comes, Liv, okay?"
"Yeah," she whispers, not entirely trusting her voice.
"You know I'm not doing this to hurt you Olivia," he says after a moment of silence.
"I get it, Elliot. Last night was never supposed to happen."
"No, you don't get it. Last night, I've wanted it for so long Liv. I-I don't know why it happened last night, but I don't regret it, not a minute of it, but-"
"But what, Elliot? I just ruined your marriage for god's sake!" her voice raised on its own volition and it almost scared her.
"I don't wanna fight, Olivia, please."
"I told myself never again, I would never ever fall for a married man again, but Jesus Elliot, do you have any idea what you can do to me? What you do, do to me?"
"Besides in bed?" he tries to joke only to be shot down with her stony glare. "No, I don't, Liv, your right. All I know is I love my wife, but I'm in love with you. I don't know how that can even happen."
"Jesus Christ, Elliot! Did you honestly have to say that?" she hisses as she shifts her body away from him so he can't see the tears that are threatening to fall if she lets go.
"Liv, are you, are you alright?" He asks as he reaches out to touch her shoulder.
"Obviously not," she chokes out.
"I didn't mean to…" he trails off.
"Well you did, so too late," she says, placing her plate on the bedside table and removing her comforter and getting out of bed. She was too upset that the dull shot of pain that ripped through her lower half as she applied pressure, didn't really register in her senses.
"Where are you going?" he asks, watching her pull a pair of running shorts from her dresser. She pulled them on and tossed her baggy shirt elsewhere, finding her sports bra.
"For a run, you stay here, we'll talk when I'm back," she says as she slips on socks and then her already laced running shoes. As soon as she was out of her apartment, she let the tears fall as she took off running down the stairs.
As she made her way down the busy Manhattan streets, her tears chilled her face and they just continued to stream. She pushed people out of her way as she refused to slow or stop, knowing her legs would give out if she did so. Three blocks from her apartment, the ache between her thighs almost became overwhelming. I must truly be a masochist, she thought as she pushed herself to run faster, further away. She collapses, finally, seven blocks later, on a bus stop bench. Her body curves itself on its own and a sob is ripped from deep in her chest, and then she's sobbing uncontrollably on the bench.
"Why do I always run?" she asks herself through a sob. He probably thinks I don't love him, that that's why I left. He's probably gonna put in for a new partner tomorrow, I can't lose him. No, she thought as she sobbed, tears streaming down over her cheeks. She thinks, surely I would have drowned in tears by now. She felt a hand strong on her should as someone sat on the bench next to her. She turned to look who it was, seeing his familiar blue eyes, the ones she knew were cold as ice when he had told her that what had happened last night couldn't happen again, were now wet with tears of his own.
"Why'd, why'd ya follow me?" she asks as she leans on his shoulder.
"I couldn't let you leave. I realized when you walked out of your apartment, that I was just being a coward. That I need to tell you everything. And also that you probably wouldn't be able to make it back on your own," he says as a glistening tear of his own escapes and land in her hair.
"Tell me everything then," she says as she curls her hand over his on his thigh, working her fingers in between his.
"Kathy left me, two months ago, took the kids with her. I think she knew. Knew that I love you before I even knew it myself. Watching you walk out of the door of your apartment has been by far, the lowest point in my life. And when Kathy left me, I felt relieved when she walked out, and then when you did the same thing, I did what I should've done with Kathy, I followed you. And-"
"Can you shut up now, Stabler, and let me tell you something?" He nodded. "I love you, El. Have for a long time. I'm not gonna leave you. I'm here for forever," she says as he tightens his hand under hers. When she turned to look at, her lips collided with his.
"I love you too, for forever," he says after they part the kiss and her eyes open.
"I like the sound of that," she laughs, as he reaches up with his free hand and wipes her tears away as she does the same.
"We're two fuck ups aren't we?" he asks after a moment of quiet, the quietest a Manhattan street could be in the evening.
"Just two people who refused to admit they love each other, then they sleep together, one hurts the other, and the other hurts the one who hurt them, and then they finally admit they love each other," she says flattening one of her hands to cup his cheek. She smiles as he leans forward and gently captures her lips with his.
"Let's get you home, huh," he says as they pull away. She nods, being pulled up by the hand she's still holding. And, as they walked down a Manhattan street, they weren't hardass SVU detectives Benson and Stabler. They were Elliot and Olivia, and to the outside world, they were just two people in love with each other.
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Tell me whatcha think and maybe I'll chose to post some of my other stuff. And help me think of a title :)
