December 21, 1994

3 days till Christmas Eve...

Knock knock

"Bernard, are you in here? Quinton asked as he opened the door to Santa's office and looked in

"Yea I'm right here" Bernard yelled back

"What are you doing?"

"Finishing up some last minute Christmas stuff that Santa didn't do." he said without looking up from the computer

"When does he ever do something? Quinton asked crossing his arms "We work more than he does and yet HE takes ALL the credit for it!" Quintin said

"Don't let him hear you say that!" Bernard warned raising an eyebrow at his friend

Quinton rolled his eyes and sighed" OK OK. Anyway the reason that I came down here is that I need to talk to Santa about the sleigh"

"What about the sleigh? Came a voice behind him

Both elves heads turned to where the voice had come from, only to find Santa walking in

Quinton gulped "um... that we are having some problems getting it to start." he blurted out

Santa looked at the elf "Well what do you need to get that blasted thing in the air?"

"Um…..Well it needs oil and some other things… well maybe a whole new engine."

Santa sighed "And why does it need a whole new engine?"

"Well, when you delivered toys last year some of the parts were worn and the oil was dirty and it won't hold water for some reason."

Santa sighed "I'll take care of it, now why don't you get your ass down there and see what you can do with it! Santa yelled

"Yes" Santa." Quinton said quickly

"You know Quinton, you're not the only elf that knows how to work an engine. I can get any of you guys to get it done. NOW GET TO WORK!" he shouted as Quinton shut the door behind him "Or Ill replace you and make you work in the kitchen!"

"I swear every year something goes wrong!" Santa said under his breath but still loud enough to be heard

"So how are the elves coming with the toys?" he asked as he pressed a button
revealing a beverage bar and poured himself a drink

"All the elves are working hard and we'll be ready for Christmas." Bernard said

"Good, you know you still have the naughty and nice list to do." Santa said and took a sip of his drink and poured himself another

Bernard sighed "Santa, with everything going on don't you think that you should do the naughty and nice list?" he asked

Santa gave Bernard a weird look "And why would I do that?" he asked "You've got everything under control, how about you do it?" he asked as he was pouring himself another drink

"Well it's not my job." Bernard argued

"Well you know what, tough if I don't want to do it than that means you'll do it and be glad that I can't make you deliver the toys!" Santa snapped

"And besides if the council would let, me make you deliver the toys than I would, but I have to do it unfortunately." he said "And besides I got better things to do besides make sure everything gets done and ready for Christmas." "I get to go to a party and look at all the hot young women there!" Santa said with some excitement

Bernard sighed he wanted to smack Santa but that would just get him into trouble. He just smiled "Have fun at the party" he said as he clenched his teeth

Santa smiled "I'd knew you let me have my way besides I'm entitled to your respect and every elf's respect in the North Pole."" Now I have to go get ready and look my best."

He said as he downed his drink and (of course) poured another and then left but on the way out of the room he turned around

"Oh and if you don't have everything ready for Christmas I'll have to explain that to the counsel and of course I'll beat you till you can't be recognized" he threatened and then turned and left

Bernard sighed and put his head in his hands and sighed again

This is the way it had been for the past 30 years, when this Santa became Santa. He never took on any responsibilities, he abused and beat the elves and Bernard had to do everything he could to protect them and himself. He cheated on his wife Katherine and had many mistresses that came and went. Bernard had to take on Santa's responsibilities and still have time to take care of his own. All the elves were lucky if they got any sleep and he over worked them, while he partied and drank he had become an alcoholic obviously. And...

"A lot on your mind Bernard?" came a voice

He looked up and then straightened up in his chair

"Yea, I'm just tired and there's a lot on my mind." he said quickly "And shouldn't you be going to that party with Santa? He asked

"Why should I go when I know he's going to be cheating on me?" she asked "He's had so many mistresses that even I've began to cheat on him so I don't really care" she said as she walked over to the beverage bar and poured herself a drink

"Do you want a drink?" she asked

"Um... no thanks." Bernard answered

"Why not?" she asked "Elves can't drink?"

"Yea we can drink it's just I'm not a big drinker?"

"Aww," she said as she walked over to him and started messaging his shoulders

"Look I'm really busy ok?" Bernard said as he grabbed her arms and pushed them away

"You know what I've heard about you?" Mrs. Clause asked as she put her arms around him

"What's that?" as he tried to push her away

"That you don't trust humans." she said as she planted a kiss on his neck and started to work downward

Bernard pushed her off and got up from his chair

"Well your right I don't trust humans and I have my reasons!" he said

"Why's that?"

Bernard just looked at her "Why should I tell you?"

"Because I'm one of the most important people in the North Pole" She said "And I've just got to have you" she said as she walked over to him and ran her finger down the front of his shirt

He grabbed her hand "Don't!" and pushed her away

"Wow you don't like or trust humans" she said I'm curious as to why." Maybe you've been betrayed she said as she walked over to him again or maybe you've been hurt." she said as Bernard had walked backwards towards the wall "Or maybe you've dated a human before and she hurt you or betrayed you or..."

Bump

Bernard had bumped against the wall and Kat had put her arms up against him as she came closer and pressed her lips against his and at the same time he struggled to get away He hated her. Her hands began to explore his body as he fought as she pinched and grabbed. Eventually she managed to get his belt off and was working on getting his pants off when Suddenly Santa came in

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE!" He screamed

Kat stopped and looked at him and then ran over to him and started crying

"Oh it was hoorrible!" she cried she pointed a hasty finger at Bernard "HE TRIED TO SEDUCE ME!"

"WHAT!" Bernard screamed "I never touched you, you tried to seduce me!"

Santa walked over to Bernard and punched him in the stomach making him fall to the ground but Santa grabbed his throat and picked him off the ground by the throat and brought him close to his face

"YOUR NOT HERE TO SEDUCE MY WIFE!" HE SAID THROUGH CLENCHED TEETH" YOUR HERE TO WORK FOR ME !" and then threw him against the wall making Bernard fall to the ground and then Santa began to kick him several times in the stomach making Bernard scream out in pain.

After a few kicks Kat finally spoke up "ok Santa I think we better get to that party." she said

Santa looked at her and sighed "Yea I guesss your right." and then left to leave for the party but stopped and turned to look at Bernard "DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH MY WIFE AGAIN OR IT WILL BE THE END OF YOU!" he threatened and then left Mrs. Clause went to leave but turned and smiled at Bernard and then left

Bernard had sat up just as Quinton had burst into the room "Are you alright?" he asked

Bernard looked at him "OH yea, I'm fine, never better "he said with sarcasm

"Hey it's not my fault." Quinton said

"I know, I'm not saying that it's your fault. Bernard said "We have to get rid of Santa." "I can't take this anymore."

Quinton helped his friend off of the floor and over to the computer desk

and then crossed his arms "And HOW are we going to get rid of Santa?" he asked

"Leave that to me." Bernard replied

"Ok, sure this is going to work." he said under his breath

"Look I'll come up with a plan that will get rid of Santa." Bernard reassured him, "Plus we're elves and we are resourceful and plus every one of us have been going through this for 30 FUCKING YEARS!"

Quinton sighed "Ok, but if Santa finds out we are in trouble!"

"Quinton, stop worrying leave everything to me." Bernard said

"Fine but how are you going to do that?" he asked "I mean that we can't kill him."

"Well what if Christmas Eve, he has an accident and somebody else puts on the coat and becomes Santa." Bernard asked

"You're talking about the contract?" Quinton asked

"Yea, whoever puts on the coat takes on the previous identity of Santa." Bernard said

"Well ok, how are we going to make him have his "accident"? Quinton asked

"Well, can you make the sleigh have an oil leak and something frightens him and he...I don't know...falls of a roof or something?" Bernard asked

Quinton thought that through for a moment "Wait... that might just get him hurt."

"Yea I know it might hurt him or it might just kill him." Bernard said "And if it just hurts him than he will just go back to his old life before he became Santa."

"And what about Katherine?"

"She will to go back to her old life and forget that they were Mr. and Mrs. Clause." Bernard assured him

"Are you sure?"

Bernard sighed "Yes or we can put up with this until he either gets too old or he dies?"

"HA!" Um...NO THANK YOU!" Quinton said "Plus he's already too old to be Santa, he's what about 60 already?"

"Then we try this plan." Bernard said "Unless you have any ideas?"

Quinton shook his head "No, let's just go with your idea." "Well, I better go "fix" the sleigh." And left

The two days before Christmas Eve was hard, Santa was working the elves to death, yelling and screaming beating them for anything. They had gone almost months with little or no sleep and along with Santa's drinking that didn't help.

December 24, 1994 Christmas Eve

Santa is taking the sleigh and delivering the toys for the last time

Santa had just gotten into his sleigh and took off. Bernard and Quinton and the other elves watched hoping that that would be the last time that they ever saw that Santa and hoping for a better one.

Back at Santa's office HOURS LATER ...

Quinton walked into the office only to see Bernard working on the computer

"Don't tell me you're working when we know he's not coming back!" he said

"Relax, I know he's not coming back, but his wife is still here for the moment." he said "So we better look like we're working ok."

"Oh yea, let's hope we get rid of him soon. " Quinton said "I hope this works" he said under his breath

"It will work." Bernard said "Just trust me ok?"

Quinton threw his hands up in the air "I sure hope it does." he shouted and then sat down

"Quinton, you worry too much." Bernard said

"I do not, I just hope this works and we get a better Santa." He said "You know one that will ACTUALLY work and take on his responsibilities."

"Just relax." Bernard assured him "Ok."

Quinton sighed "Well I better get back to the job I was doing." and then left

Bernard sighed and put his heads in his hands

"A lot on your mind?" Came Katherine

Barnard looked up "No, not really, just tired." he said

Kat walked over and poured herself a drink "I just got a call from Santa "He's in the U.S now somewhere near L.A." she said

"Well that's good." he said

"Yea I know" she said as she walked over to him

Bernard was now hoping that Santa would die soon, because as soon as he did Katrina would disappear and out of his and all the other elves' lives as well

She walked over to him and put her hands on his shoulders and started messaging them

"Wow, your pretty tense." she said

Bernard took pushed her hands away, but she just put them back in his shoulders and started massaging them. Again he pushed them off

Kat let out a little laugh "Look Bernard, Santa's not coming back for a while." she said "So relax and come on we can have a little fun."

Bernard sighed and stood up from his chair

"You know, no it's not ok." he snapped " I don't want anything to do with you and I'm sure none of the other elves do either!"

"Yea sure." she started coming towards him and he backed up. Ok now he was really wishing that Santa had ha his little "Accident" now.

"Hurry up Santa!" Bernard thought

"You know you never told me why you hate humans." Kat said as she was coming towards Bernard and he was heading towards the door

She grabbed his arm "I JUST WANT TO KN..." and she suddenly disappeared right before his eyes

He stood there in disbelief "Santa's gone, he's really gone." he thought

Bernard opened the door and walked out and over to the work station to see if the elves knew.

They were just standing there all with looks of relief on their faces.

They were finally rid of the old Santa...

December 25, 1994

The new Santa is due back at the North Pole...

All the elves were getting ready to meet the new Santa, who had just landed and was coming down on a platform.

Bernard and Quinton were up on the second floor watching the sleigh and the new Santa come down

"Well I wonder what the new Santa's like?" Quinton asked

"Well we won't know till he starts to become Santa." Bernard said

"He's not going to be like the old one." Quinton said

"Yea, and how do you know that?" Bernard asked

"I don't." Quinton said "But we can't just assume that he'll be like the old one."

"Well look he's got a kid with him." Quinton pointed out

"So?" Bernard said "The other one had a kid with him when he became Santa."

"That doesn't mean that he's going to be like the old one." Quinton said "He might actually work and do his duty."

Bernard sighed "And what if he doesn't?"

"And he might help you get over your distrust of humans." Quinton said

"Yea, right." Bernard said "And if I remember right, you don't trust them either."

"No that was just the last Santa." Quinton said "You're the one who doesn't trust humans."

Bernard sighed "Whatever you say Quinton." He answered "I better go greet him." And headed down the stairs still watching Santa who had already landed

Bernard was standing there watching him. He got out and started asking who was in charge not knowing he was

And then he started talking to an elf named Emily, after a while she started to look annoyed and looked over at Bernard as if to say "Help me."

Bernard decided to break up this little conversation and walked over to them "Who's making all the trouble around here?" he asked

Both Santa and Emily looked at him "He is." "She is" they both said at the same time

Bernard threw his hands up "Excuse me are we on a coffee break?" he asked

"We don't drink coffee." Sara replied

"Then I guess the break is over." Bernard said "Back to work thanks."

She walked away and the new Santa gave him a weird look "Hey take it easy on her, will ya?" he asked "Who are you?"

Bernard looked at him "Well at least he cares about the elves." Bernard thought

"I'm Bernard." He replied "Nice to meet you Santa." he said...