AN: I know, I know, making fun of My Immortal is overdone to hell and back, but I wanted to test the waters with this idea. If people hate it, I'll abandon the project while I can. No biggie. I got other stuff to work on anyway. So yeah, if you think I'm wasting my time, feel free to say so, lol.
But yeah, this is the story of Ebony's Gary-Stu son, Onyx Girard Shadow Depp Malfoy, and his mission to save time and space from the Mary-Sue that is his mother. Hope this works!
Oh yeah, I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I would be partying down in the Playboy Mansion with all the money I made by writing that series.
My Immortal 2: Son of a Sue!
Chapter 1
Hai, my nam is Onyx Girard Shadow Depp Malfoy! Im the son of da famoos goffs Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way an Draco Malfoy. Mah hair is blond, but I died it blak bcuz I h8 having blond hare. I hav icy blue eyes liek my muther, and pointed teef bcauz im a vamprire like my parents r!1 Im a bisezual 6th year student at Hogwarts Magikal skull (geddit, cuz I'm goffik?) butt I hav barley any freinds bcuz al of those studnts r prepz! Thay dont understand meh! Stoopid preps!
I like to drezz in blac cloves becuz liek a goffik stuff. Rite noa, Im wearing blak jeans wif holes in da knees, blac metal cumbat boots, and a panic the dizco t-shit. I lik to wear white makup on my face, blak lipstick and eyeliner and mascera, and piercings all ober my ears and lip.
Bein a goff, I leik goffik an punk bandz like Painc at the dizco, My Chemicle Romens, and Good Charolett. When im not watchin goffic moviez and lizzenin to goff music, I lik to cut mahself.
Nyways, I wuz on mah way to the tran station so I culd get on a train to Hogzwart, but all off a suddn!...
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" sumbody shooted! Wif a flash of green lite, I fell over in darknes...
"Good, you're awake!" a man's voice said.
I opend mah eyez and got all scrayed. "OMFG wut da hell!" I scremmed. I wuz in a dark room. I wuz shitting in a char across frum a preppy luking man. "Iz dis hell?"
"No, I am-"
"Shuttup prep!" I said madly. "How am I alieve!"
"We hit you with a false avada kedavra curse," the man answered. "I want to talk to you."
"Wut the fuck do u waant wif me! And y r u talkin like a prep!"
"I am talking normally," he answered calmly. "Listen Onyx, I am Othello Drekner, the current Minister of Magic. I have an important mission for you and you alone."
"Mizzon! What da hell r you talking about!" I shooted angrly.
"Let me explain," the minister continued, "seventeen years ago, an evil power manifested itself in the form of a young woman who went by the name Ebony Way."
"Enoby! Dats my mudder!" I shooted depressively.
"Yes, she is," the minister replied gravely. "However, when that foreigner entered the time line, everything and everybody who was connected to that time and place was distorted. Her presence sent the world into chaos, and the effects still linger. If this madness continues, the future may implode upon itself due to all the time paradoxes. You must go back in time and find what gave your mother her power, and destroy it. It is a mission that may take months since you may have to have to befriend Ebony and her friends in order to find the source. If you can destroy it, the world will be fixed."
"But I dunt wanna go back in tim!" I yielded. "Y me!"
"Because you are Ebony's son, you are the only one who can go back to that point in time without being scarred by the dark magic, since it continues to live inside of you. Anybody else we would send back in time would be infected by the darkness," he explained.
"But wouldnt my muther die? Wouldn I die two?" I asked sadly.
"Yes, but you wouldn't," Othello assured him. "Since you are from a different time, you can't be killed from actions in the past, even if your birth mother were to die before your birth. It's a confusing process, so I'll spare you the details. The point is, if you do this, you'll be a hero to everybody, wizards and muggles alike. Will you do it?"
"Y shuld I? Wats in it 4 me?" I growed.
"Onyx, tell me something: are you happy with yourself?" Othello asked.
I fought abut that. I wuz always deprezzed and I wanted to kill mahself. Peeple alwas told me that I talked fonny and that I wuz a stoopid poser goff.
"Think of it, you'll no longer talk like that. You won't be poisoned with the black magic. If you do this, you'll not only save the world, but you'll also save yourself."
I fought abot it summore. Iff I did this for the Misery of Magik, my muther wuld die. But maebe that wold be ok. My mum iz alwayz mean to me, makin me clean her coffin and all da blud puddles of blood that she an dad leave in da house. I wanted revenge!1
"Ok, Ill do it!1" I ejaculated.
"Good!" Othello said happily. "Also, take this phone. You can use it to call me in the future so I can give you advice."
"Kule! Fangs (geddit, cause im a vampire?)" I said. I took da fone an d put it in mah pocket. "But how do I go back in tim?"
"Follow me," he ordered.
I foloed the misister to anodder room. I gassped at what I saw!1 An older car was siting in the grage.
"This is a delorean. You can use it to travel through time. I used to belong to a muggle named Marty McFly who could travel time before he was distorted by the darkness in Ebony's time," the minister said. "All of your things are packed in it, and it is set to enter the destination year at Hogwarts. You will leave now. We have no time to waste."
"Ok!" I yielded goffikally b4 entring the car.
"Be warned!" the minister shouted. "Reality in the past is different from what you know! Be careful!"
"Sur, Ill be fin!" I said angstily. Wif dat, I drov the car into the past!
Should I keep going? You decide. If you're going to flame me, don't do it anonymously. I'm a big boy. I won't mark it, haha.
