I'll Save Myself

Chapter 1: Closed eyes

Summary: Sakura's just another girl in the crowd, admiring Syaoran, the most popular guy in school, with the smarts, athletics, and looks.  She's been friends with him though.  He's the kind of guy with girlfriends all the time, changing every week.  Sakura's had a crush on him also, but whenever they go out somewhere as friends, he blows her off for a date.  Finally, when Syaoran's longest girlfriend, the ever popular Masami dumps him, Syaoran looks to Sakura for help…

DISCLAIMER: Me no own CCS!  CLAMP does!  I only own my little character, Matt, cause I MADE him up!

Sakura sighed and shook her head as she pushed her way past the crowd of girls.  The soccer game had just ended and everyone was drooling over their star player, Li Syaoran.  It was no surprise really, everyone loved him.  Guys liked him as their friends, girls had crushes oh him.  Sakura finally came into view of him and waved her hand above the sea of girls.  "Syaoran, I have your bag," she called out and waved a bookbag over her head.

A boy with a girl on each arm shook them off and grinned back at Sakura.  His form was tall, slim, but strong.  His chestnut hair was soaked in sweat from the aftermath of the game, but apparently it didn't bother the girls who still were trying to get to him.  His eyes were a deep amber and they glanced over at Sakura's emerald eyes, "Oh, thanks Sakura," he said plainly and went back to talking with the crowd.

Sakura, a little disappointed that he didn't mention that they were going to see a movie together tomorrow pushed out of the crowd and caught up with another one of the soccer players, Matt.  "Hey, you guys did well today," she commented.

Matt brushed his light brown hair out if his face and grinned, "Thanks Kinomoto,"

Sakura nodded silently.  She did this every once in a while, going up to one of the other teammates to congratulate them, knowing they didn't get nearly as much attention as Syaoran.  She looked down at her watch and back to Matt, "Oh, I gotta go, I'll see you around," she told him and left the soccer field to head home.  It was late afternoon by now, but the sky was still light out, since it was the beginning of May.  It was particularly warm this year and Sakura quickly went home to get a drink of water.  After that she decided to do some homework.  That took a few hours, but soon after, she was bored again.  She decided to call Syaoran again and see if they were going to the movie.  Syaoran had been her friend since fourth grade and had always had girls swarming him.  She was used to him letting her down when they had plans.  It was always, "Oh, sorry Sakura, I have another date," But that was okay with her.  She knew Syaoran was busy.  She dialed his number on her pink cordless phone and leaned against a wall of her room as the other end rang.  Finally someone picked up.

"Hello, Li Syaoran speaking,"

"Hey Syaoran, its Sakura,"

"Oh, hey Sakura, what's up?"

"Remember on Monday we were talking about seeing a movie on Saturday?  Are we still going tomorrow?" Sakura asked and secretly crossed her fingers.

"Oh yeah, sure.  So, we're seeing that Kung fu flick right?"

Sakura beamed, surprised that he remembered, "Yup.  So, how about we meet at the movie theatre at 1:00?"

"Sure.  Well I gotta go so I'll see you tomorrow," Syaoran quickly told her and hung up.

Sakura nodded and hung up also.  As soon as she did she jumped around excitedly.  She, like most of the other girls in school had also had a crush on Syaoran.  She somehow always imagined him liking her one day.  It would be perfect.  Besides, she hadn't talked to him much lately.  He spent a lot of time with his girlfriend, Masami. 

~~~~~ The next day ~~~~~

Sakura slept in late, until 12:00 when her brother, Toya woke her up to the sound of her alarm clock in her ear.  She never used that thing on weekends, and absolutely hated it, which gave her much reason for kicking him as a reflex as soon as she heard the ringing in her ear.  She rubbed her eyes and yawned, "Oy, why'd you do that?"

Toya who had been kicked in the leg bent over in retreat, "You kaiju…besides, aren't you supposed to go somewhere in an hour?"

Sakura checked her clock, "Wah!  Why didn't you wake me up sooner?"

Toya shrugged and got up, "What?  You don't need an hour to change," he muttered and left the room.

Sakura shrugged and got up to pick out clothes.  It was another warm and sunny day, so Sakura picked out a dark blue skirt with thin flower print on it and a simple light blue tank top.  She changed and washed up, finally combing her hair.  After staring at herself in the mirror a few times, she approved and went downstairs for a quick meal. 

~~~~~ The movie theatre ~~~~~

Sakura happily made her way to the local theatre and sat down by one of the benches outside.  She checked her watch.  It was about five minutes to one.  Wow, I'm actually early! She thought and grinned.  She had a reputation of being late for things and Syaoran was sure to tease her about it, knowing her for so long.  She watched patiently as groups of friends, couples, and just people stepped into the movie theatre.  Alone she sat, still patiently waiting, being completely optimistic.  That's okay.  He has martial arts practice today.  Maybe he's just running late.  Besides, we're not missing anything.  By the time he comes they'll just be showing commercials, she thought hopefully.  But soon enough the crowd died down and the movie had probably begun.  Sakura checked her watch again.  I was now 1:15.  She waited still.  1:30.  Still nothing.  1:50.  Deserted.  Sakura bit her lip and her eyes watered slightly.  She blinked and a tear rolled down her milky white skin.  She quickly whipped it away and fidgeted with the ends of her skirt.  2:10.  Her cell phone rang.  Sakura, startled, answered it quickly.  It had to be Syaoran.  He probably had something really important and unexpected to do.

"Hello, Sakura speaking,"

"Oh, hey Sakura.  Uh, did you go to the theatre already?"

Sakura's face froze and she frowned, "Yeah,"

"Oh, I'm so sorry Sakura, I can't come today.  Listen, I'll call you later, okay?  Gomen nasai Sakura," Syaoran's voice trailed off before he hung up.

Sakura nodded silently and turned off her cell phone.  I guess things haven't changed.  It's always like this.  Oh well, maybe we can see one tomorrow or something, she thought and got ready to leave.  But she didn't.  She stayed where she was, on the bench and closed her eyes.  He's such a jerk, she finally concluded.  Why should I always come last?  I'm always waiting for him, she cried to herself.  By now her head was burning with anger and sadness.  She shivered shakily, not because of the light breeze that had just passed.  Maybe because she had finally woken up to the reality of their 'friendship'.  "I thought you like me just enough to spend a little time with me.  I guess things have changed, right?  I'm always the last priority.  You never hear me.  I give up," she whispered under her breath.  She watched as people exited the movie theatre finally.  Voices were excitedly going over how amazing the stunts and affect were, how the bad guy looked really cool, and how a certain scene made them jump out of their seat.  Sakura looked down and sighed.  Why am I still here? She asked herself and didn't answer.

"Uh, hey, Kinomoto," a voice greeted her from above.

Sakura looked up at the grey eyes staring down at her, "Uh, hi Matt,"

Matt took a seat next to her, "Oh, did you see the movie?"

Sakura sighed and shook her head, "Nah.  I was going to, but I had a…change of plans," she muttered.

Matt looked down, deciding not to say anything else.  "Oh, well… I'll see you around," he said and left.

Sakura nodded and soon after went back home.  She headed straight to her room but passed Toya on the way up.

"Hey, how was the movie?" he asked and stopped her.

Sakura put on a fake smile, "It was really good.  The plot was cool" she lied and without another word slipped into her room.

~~~~~ Monday at school ~~~~~

"Hey, did you ever go see that movie with Syaoran?' a girl with long dark hair asked as she took her seat by her desk.

Sakura sat down and slumped over the desk, "Tomoyo, can we not talk about it?"

Tomoyo sighed and nodded.  She had known Sakura was always being stood up by Syaoran and if she was correct, it had happened again.  But…it seemed different this time.  Maybe something more. 

~~~~~ Lunch ~~~~~

"Okay, spill the beans Sakura.  I know Syaoran didn't come, but there's something else.  I've known you long enough to sense it," Tomoyo told her best friend and sat down by a tree.

Sakura opened her lunch and unwrapped her chopsticks, "Listen, I'm over Syaoran," she whispered.

Tomoyo didn't say anything, waiting for Sakura to continue.

Sakura sighed, "You're too good at this Tomoyo.  Do I have to be specific with details?"

Tomoyo still ate in silence, giving her the answer.

"Fine.  I'm tired of being stood up by him.  I guess he thinks of me as less than a friend now.  He's changed.  But that's fine with me.  I'm done with his game," Sakura muttered and stuffed a sushi roll into her mouth.

Tomoyo nodded and left the subject alone, changing it to thoughts about the citywide tests.  She had known that Sakura had a crush on him, but she wasn't sure if she should agree with her or not.

~~~~~ Syaoran's place ~~~~~

Syaoran dropped his bookbag onto his couch lazily and flopped down next to it.  He leaned towards the small glass corner table and picked up his phone and dialed. 

"Hello?" a female voice answered.

"Hey Masami,"

"Oh, Hi Syao, what's gong on?"

"Just making sure we're still going to that restaurant tonight,"

"Oh no!  I'm sooo sorry Syao, I made plans.  I'm going to the salon to get my nails done," the voice exclaimed excitedly.

Syaoran's happy expression dropped to disappointment, "You did?  Oh, well then I guess we'll go some other time," he mumbled.

"Okay, we will!  Luv ya Syao!" the voice said and then the phone clicked off. 

Syaoran hung up his phone and ran his hand through his messy hair.  He had been going out with Masami for almost a week now.  Usually girls didn't last that long with him and he would find someone new by the end of the week but Masami was different.  She was beautiful.  Already Syaoran was captivated by her and had been looking forward to another date.  "Well…I guess I could always try calling Sakura and see if she's doing anything," Syaoran muttered and dialed the phone again.

~~~~~ Sakura's house ~~~~~

*Ring ring*

"You get it Toya!" Sakura called and remained lying in the floor of her room, staring up at her blank ceiling.  She felt tired for no particular reason and didn't want to get up.

"It's for you kaiji.  The gaki's on the phone," Toya said with an annoyed tone.  He held out the phone, waiting for her to receive it.

Sakura continued to stare at the ceiling, "Toya, tell him I'm not here or something.  I really don't-" she started to tell him but was stopped as the phone was shoved to her ear.

"Hey Sakura," Syaoran's kind voice greeted her.

Sakura's eyes widened and she glared as Toya closed the door and went back downstairs.  She was about to tell him to go away but he interrupted her.

"Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to go see that movie tomorrow.  You know, to make up for Saturday," Syaoran explained.

Sakura's face turned soft and she somehow couldn't control what come out of her mouth, "Really?  Sure.  So, I'll meet you at 6:00?"

"Sure.  I'll see you tomorrow," Syaoran said and hung up.

Sakura had a grin spreading on her face by now but as soon as she hung up clamped her hand over her mouth in deep regret.  I'm so stupid!  I just fell in his trap again!  I'm easy prey!  Easy!  But maybe he's okay…I could have just been a little angry before… she added and closed her eyes.  I can still cancel it.  But…

~~~~~ The next day after school ~~~~~

"Syao!" a girl with long curly brown hair called from across the hallway.  She pushed past the other students in the crowded hallway and caught up with him.

"Hey Masami," Syaoran greeted her and turned around.

"Listen, I've got the greatest news!  I'm free tonight!  So do you wanna go to dinner?" Masami suggested and hung onto his arm.

Syaoran opened his mouth to accept but caught sight of Sakura stepping out of a classroom.  Oh shit!  I'm supposed to go with Sakura tonight!  But Masami…it's okay.  Sakura will understand.  That's why she's such a good friend.  I'll just go with Sakura some other time, he concluded to himself and opened his mouth again, "Sure.  So…I'll pick you up at 6:30, okay?"

Masami eagerly nodded and then bounced off with some of her friends. 

Syaoran strolled through the hallways with his group of jock friends.  As he passed he smiled at the girls, making them all feel dizzy.  Normally, Sakura was fine with this and just ignored it, but today was different.  It was just plain sickening.  She really liked Syaoran but how he always did that was…disturbing.  Syaoran finally stopped at his locker and started to take the things he needed for homework.  Sakura had already finished and was about to leave when Syaoran stopped her.  Sakura waited, half annoyed because she was late for cheerleading and half delighted that he wanted to talk.

"Yeah Syaoran?" Sakura asked, curious about what he wanted.

"Oh Sakura, listen, I can't go to the movies with you tonight.  I've got some stuff to do," Syaoran explained, expecting her to understand.  And she 'understood'.  At least that's what it looked like.

"Oh," Sakura dully mumbled and looked down.  "That's okay.  Well…I'll see you later then," she added and waved a goodbye.  What kind of a jerk is he?!  You always do this Li.  You always make plans.  Probably plans with his stupid miss popular Masami!  I'm always last priority!  I'm through with you! she screamed silently.  Her hands were curved into fists and sweat beads rolled off her forehead in anger.  Instead of her usual cheerful self she was tomato red and kicked the door to the cheerleading area open forcefully, nearly knocking down a passing student. 

~~~~~ Sakura and Tomoyo ~~~~~

"He blew you off?!" fumed a very upset Tomoyo.

They were walking home from cheerleading practice and Sakura had just explained what had happened with Syaoran.

Sakura nodded, "I know!  That jerk Li thinks he's all cool and everything so he doesn't even think he has time to spend a little time with his old friends!" she hissed.

"So you're back to last name basis," she observed quietly and nodded her head in agreement.  She usually kept her calm and was used to Sakura being stood up but this was too much.  For once she actually showed how angry she was and it resulted in her muttering things about him under her breath every few seconds and major redness in the fists and face.  "What the hell is wrong with him?" she enraged, even making Sakura feel a little pitiful for him…but only for a moment.

~~~~~ Syaoran and Masaki's date ~~~~~

The date started out with dinner at a very good oyster house by the beach.  It had gone relatively well, although several times Masami's gaze drifted to her nails and once at their waiter.  Syaoran didn't notice that though.  He was a happy man, not knowing what his girlfriend had in store for him or about two girls that were very mad at him for reasons he probably can't come up with, strange enough.  After the dinner they walked by the beach, the first couple of stars twinkling in the deep blue sky.  They stopped and sat down by the sand, much to Masami's displeasure.

"Ugh, this is sooo not good for my dress," she muttered and brushed a few grains of sand off her. 

Syaoran ignored the comment and grinned.  I'm so lucky.  Really.  I've got the popular girl as my girlfriend and I don't have worry about grades of money.  What could be better than this? He asked himself, not being aware of what Masami was about to say.

"Listen Syaoran, I've been thinking and…this," she motioned to the two of them, "it isn't working okay?  Let's break up,"

Syaoran still had that grin plastered to his face, slowly taking in the information.  Finally it rushed into his brain and the smile instantly dropped to a large gap.  He stared dumbly at her, "What?  Why?"

Masami still had a calm look on her face but it only changed as she stared hatefully at a split end in her hair, "Oh, well I want something new.  Besides, it would be fun to go out with Dean again.  He's such a good kisser!  I mean…reeeaaallly good,"

Syaoran was still gaping at her but shook it off, "What?  But…but…" he stuttered and fell silent.  He sighed.  "I'll take you home," he told her and got up.

Masami eagerly got up and away from the sand and they went back to Syaoran's car.  They drove in silence and when they reached Masami's house she just bounced out and waved goodbye.  Syaoran didn't say anything to her.

The ride seemed to go on forever but finally Syaoran arrived back at his place and slowly headed for his room.  I should call Sakura.  She'll know what to do, he decided and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, is this Sakura?"

"Yeah, who's speaking?"

"Syaoran,"

"….."

"Uh ,listen, could you do me a favor…."

Authoress Note: …….so?  How was it?  Review!  Just click the little 'go' button under this!  Don't be lazy!!