The Crimson Kiss

© 2003 by Hailey Gaida

Warning: This story may be triggering for some people. Please make sure you are safe before reading it. Thank you.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter Characters. I merely own the plot, I did not steal it from anyone. I also own any poetry that will be seen in this story. It has been written by me. Please don't claim it as your own.

Chapter 1

Hermione Granger sat Indian style in her sleek, black office chair. She twisted from side to side as she moved the mouse over her computer screen. She clicked a link on a random page and it took her to P---.org.

"Self-Injury?" She thought to herself. It was release she herself had never thought of. She had thought of suicide before through self-injury, but not self injury as a release. It was now the summer before seventh year at Hogwarts and she was, to be blunt, depressed. She didn't even have a reason, really. Her home life was fine, and her school life was decent. She was depressed, and she believed herself to be worthless and a failure. The low self esteem and self confidence of depression had taken toll on her. Her psychiatrists and psychologists had told her that she had a chemical imbalance. "Chemical imbalance my ass." She muttered to herself, while surfing the site.

Hermione perused the poetry, personal stories, and images on P---.org. The images are what got her. She ignored the warning to make sure that she was safe and clicked into them. Her eyes widened as she saw the blood coated arms, legs and even body parts unknown of people around the world. People who were like her, depressed for one reason or another.

She uncrossed her legs, stood up and walked over to a large box that was laying in the middle of her floor. She bent down slowly and picked up the box cutter, whose blade was encased in a teal plastic casing. She clicked the blade up and looked at it, in awe. She had to try this release. Nothing else had worked so far.

She touched the blade to her arm and dragged it across it lightly, leaving a mark that was barely visible to the naked eye. A little blood seeped through the crack in her skin that she had just inflicted. She did it again, this time pressing a little harder; it bled a little more. She did it a few more time, until it amounted to about ten slices across her forearm. She pushed the box cutter blade back into it's plastic casing and set it down on her desk. She looked at her arm.

How could a blade so small, bring such a release? She felt relieved, as if a burden had been lifted. Her arm stung a little,though. She slowly dragged a finger across her crimson forearm. Her finger emerged coated in her own blood. She smiled and closed her eyes. She felt relaxed and relieved. Seeing her own blood reminded her that she was alive. She looked over at the box cutter. She had just found a new friend.

"Hermione?" A voice, called from down the stairs.

"Yes, Ma'am?" She called back, hey eyes going wide, afraid that the voice might travel with the person it belong to, to her room.

"Dinner is ready, sweetie." It called.

"Yes, Ma'am, I'll be there in a minute." She sighed, a bit relieved.

Hermione panicked. She went to the bathroom and ran the water from the tap. She winced as the soft, clear droplets mingled with the crimson kisses upon her arm. She grabbed a small towel and dried her arm. Hermione walked to her room and pulled off her tank top, only to replace it with a black, long sleeved, shirt.

She walked down the stairs to dinner, the web page open on her computer screen, and the bloody towel next to the plastic sheathed god on her desk.

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Hermione lay under her black and dark red canopy. Her spiral was open and she held a pen in her hand. Her hand rested under her chin, propping her up. She looked at her left arm and pulled the black tube sock that she had cut up to make an arm sock, back. She revealed a multitude of scars and cuts. She had even carved words and shapes into her arms. There was a star, and the word 'hatred.' Hermione put her pen to paper and began to write.

The Crimson Kiss upon my flesh

The crimson kiss that sears my soul

A droplet of blood

The razor brings

And once again, I am whole.

Crimson kisses

Razored bliss

I'm only human

Enough

To bleed to death.

Silky red

On pale white

Flesh

Bleeding, hurting,

Relieving stress.

The Crimson kiss

The razor brings

Doth don my flesh

My soul

Doth sing.

The pain is flooding

Away from thy

Yet pain is coming

By day

And Nye.

The razor brings

The Crimson kiss

The razor chortles

Joy

And bliss.

Awaiting thee

The crimson kiss

Of immortal

Pain and

Beautiful bliss.

It doesn't stop

This beautiful pain

This crimson kiss

Is one

To maim.

It sears the soul

And scars the flesh

This Crimson kiss of

Razored bliss

Hermione set her pen down and read over her poem. 'A crimson kiss, the razor brings.' She looked down upon her arm. It was true, her razor and knife did bring crimson kisses. She put her spiral away and covered her arm back up. She got off of her bed and started packing for the return trip to Hogwarts.

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It was one of the hottest days that England had seen and Hermione was dressed in all black. She wore black jeans, with black combat boots that came up to her knees, only the bottoms of her shoes could be seen though. Her shirt was a black spaghetti strap with a black fishnet over shirt and her arms were covered in black arm socks that she had made herself. The only contrast was a silver necklace with a pair of crimson cherries. She wasn't as tan as she usually was. She had somewhat of a tan but she had, after all, stayed inside most of the summer. She gave her bags to the porter after crossing through the barrier in the train station. She walked around platform 9 ¾ and then finally boarded the train. The train was sweltering as well. She walked into the usual car on the train and into her respected seat by the window.

Harry and Ron came into the car soon enough.

"Hermione!" Harry exclaimed, moving over to embrace his best friend.

Hermione stood up and hugged him. "Hi Harry." She saw Ron hiding behind him. She moved to embrace him as well.

"Hey Herms." Ron smiled and hugged her close.

"Hey, Ron." She forced a smile.

"What's with all of the black, Herms?" Harry inquired. "It's the hottest day we've ever had here. What's the deal?"

"I just felt like wearing black." She shrugged and forced another smile.

"Aren't you hot?" Ron inquired, moving closer to her.

"Not really." She said, sitting back down, near the window.

"C'mon, 'Mione. Take off your extra shirts. You'll faint."

"Really guys, I'm fine." She smiled, fake of course, but they didn't know that. Hermione started to feel dizzy. She blinked her eyes and then lifted a hand to feel her head. Then, she blacked out, just as the train left it's station. Her head gently bounced against the wall of the train car.

"Hermione!" Harry said, rushing to her side. He shook her gently and she didn't awake.

"Oh shit. Ron, go get a teacher or something. She's out." Harry yelled to Ron.

Ron's eyes went wide and he ran out of the car and bumped into none other than the malicious Draco Malfoy.

"Watch it Weasley, you're too poor to afford to knock me over." Draco said, looking down up on the red headed boy.

"Get out of my way, Malfoy." Ron grunted, trying to push past the 6'3 silver-haired god.

"And what if I don't?"

"Then, I'll…"

"Then you'll what, Weasley?"

"Get away, Malfoy, something's wrong with Hermione and I need to get a teacher."

Draco allowed Ron to push past him. His face was one of concern. He walked into the trio's usual room and saw Harry holding an unconscious Hermione. Draco saw the tube socks on her arms and immediately knew what was wrong with her. He pulled a tiny vial out of his pocket and handed it to Harry.

"Give this to her."

"Why should I listen to you, Malfoy?"

"Because, I know what's wrong with her. The heat got to her. This will wake her up and it'll make her feel better."

Harry just looked at Malfoy. He actually looked concerned for Hermione. Harry fed some of the contents of the vial into her mouth. Draco looked pleased with himself when she woke up. What Draco didn't tell Harry is that, in the potion was a healer. It would help to heal her wounds. He was sure that she had lost some blood.

Hermione sent Draco a pleading look. Draco merely smiled and walked out, crossing his arms over his chest. He walked around the trains hallway and sighed softly. He needed to talk to her, badly. He knew what was wrong with her. He had the scars there. He knew what she was going through. Now, he just had to make the love of his life believe that he understood.

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