Reign

Everything had been perfect, she had had it all.

And in the blink of an eye every single thing she had ever known had been taken from her.

She had it all, it was torn away. And now she had nothing left.

It would have been bittersweet had her heart not have been ripped out, torn to shreds, and each piece burned in front of her own eyes. Yet worst of all...she had no one to blame but herself.

This stabbing, life altering pain was her own doing. And she felt as if she deserved to die for it.

She had heart the one person she had sworn never to hurt. She saw the moment her words broke his heart, and ripped apart his trust in her. And she had felt the exact second her own heart shattered within her chest.

It had taken everything within her to stumble away from him, out of the dark forest next to her house, and then literally crawl up the stairs to her bedroom.

Yet worst of all she had no one to blame, but herself.

~*~

She had felt the tremble within herself as her alarm had went off. She knew that this was the morning that it was all going to change...the morning in which it all had to change.

Bella Swan pulled herself out of her bed and down the hallway to her bathroom. She striped herself of her clothes and climbed into the shower and let the warm water wash over her body. More than anything she wished she could just plug the tub, let it fill, and lie down in the foot deep water and allow herself to slip away. Yet she knew that wasn't an option.

At least, not today.

She spun around a few times and let the water cover her over and over again. After awhile, she turned to face the faucet and turned the handle from hot to cold. She had hoped the cold water would comfort her, but wasn't surprised when all it did was make the deep hole in her heart become hollower.

Cold used to be the one thing that comforted her most. Whether it be a cold hand clasped over her own, a cold stone like shoulder to rest her cheek upon, or a cold chest pressed up against her warm back as she lay spooned at night in her tiny bed. Now though, the cold left her feeling alone and empty.

She finished her shower and stepped out of the stall, wrapping a fluffy towel around her body. She made her way back down the hallway and into her room, softly shutting the door behind her. She pulled on a pair of worn jeans, and a long sleeved thermal shirt...not really caring at all as long as she was dressed.

She ran a brush through her hair and then let it hang down against her shoulders. She couldn't be bothered with using a blow dryer right now. Or ever again, for that matter.

After a few minutes she sat down on her bed and pulled out her cell phone, dialling the one number she called more than any other. He picked up on the first ring, as she knew he would.

"Bella." He answered. She could hear the smile in his voice, and couldn't help but imagine the crooked smile that graced his handsome face.

"Hi Edward." She breathed in reply.

"How are you today love?" He asked. "Sleep well?"

Last night had been the first night in months that they had slept apart. Most night she slept nuzzled against his side, his arm draped protectively around her. But last night she had asked him not to come over, stating she needed to spend time with Charlie and finish a few things for school. And being the ever understanding perfect boyfriend that he was, he complied. She knew he had been confused, but he trusted her, and if a night apart was what she requested he would grant it to her. She was counting on him always being willing to grant her wishes now.

She swallowed hard, feeling her eyes begin to fill with tears. She had to remain strong, she could cry forever after, but right now she needed to remain strong for both of them.

"I was ok." She answered, battling her emotions and leaving the answer open for him to interpret it however he saw fit.

"Did you want me to come over and sit with you for breakfast? Perhaps we could take a trip to the meadow." His tone sounding hopeful.

She nodded her head, even though he couldn't see her through the phone. "Sure...that would be great."

"Alright. I'll be over in a few minutes. See you soon love." He replied to her, her favourite crooked smile back in his voice.

She hung up her phone and set it down on her bed. She padded out of her room and down the stairs to the kitchen. She pulled out her cheerios from the cupboard and the milk from the fridge and sat down at the kitchen table. She poured the cereal and milk into the bowl and added a spoon, and just waited.

Edward was always on time. Minutes later, without fail Edward let himself into her house and walked into the kitchen. He walked over to her and leaned down to kiss her gently before moving to sit across from her.

They made small talk while she finished her breakfast, and all too soon she was done and out of excuses to prolong this moment.

"Edward?" She asked.

"Mm hmm?" He replied, he reached his hand out to meet hers and traced random patterns across her palm.

She smiled at him gently, her eyes tearing yet again. "Could we take a walk outside for a bit, please?"

He smiled brightly over to her and brought her hand up to his lips placing a light kiss against her scar. He nodded. "Of course."

She stood up and placed her bowl into the sink and moved to the front door to grab her coat and slip on her shoes. Edward trailed behind her, catching her lightly by the elbow as she stumbled at one point, and holding the door for her as they made their way outside. He followed her as she led the way down the front path and across the large yard to the tree line of the nearby forest.

She knew this was the turning point, there was no turning back once they stepped into the forest. She had to go through with this. Right before they entered she stopped short and turned around abruptly to face him.

"Kiss me." She begged, looking up into his bright golden eyes.

He smiled down at her and bent down slightly to place his hard lips lightly against her soft ones. He pulled back after a quick peck and continued to smile to her.

She shook her head. "Again." She commanded. And this time she didn't allow him to pull back. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled her body up against his own, pressing into him and pouring every last emotion she could into this single kiss. Her love, her devotion, her want, her need, her pain, her sorrow, and her remorse. She was shocked that he allowed it to go on as long as he did, but finally he pulled back, forcing them apart as her need for air overcame her.

"I love you Bella." He whispered.

"I love you too." She breathed. A sob was trapped in her throat, but she refused to let it escape.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the trees, staying to a small path that had been marked out in the under bush over the years. She walked until she couldn't see the house behind them, or hear any of the sounds of the town they lived in. Finally, she came to a stop. It took everything she had in her to turn around and face him.

She kept her eyes downcast, but finally she forced herself to look up into his eyes. At first she could see only love in his eyes, but as he focused in on her face and looked deeper into her eyes she saw first dread and then uneasiness enter his golden orbs.

"Edward...I love you. And I need you to let me get this out." She began.

He nodded his head slowly, hanging on her every word.

"This is hard for me to say, to have to tell you...but...this just isn't working anymore. This, here between us. I thought it would, I thought it could...but now I see I was just trying to fix something that couldn't be fixed." She explained. She took a deep breath to still herself and continued on. Her adrenaline was pumping through her body, and she knew he could hear how hard her heart was pumping in his chest.

"We're just too different Edward, you and I. I'm human and you're not...and that just isn't right. I want things in my life that you can't give me, and I see that now. I thought I could get over it all and accept not having those things someday but I know now that I can't. I want to get married, I want children, I want to grow old with my husband beside me aging as well...I don't want to be frozen in time forever and not get to experience everything I want to."

He looked stunned, and her heart broke more at the sight. She didn't want to hurt him, but knew he had to hear these things to understand.

"You...you don't want me anymore?" He asked, his voice quiet.

She nodded her head. "No."

He had stopped moving, and his eyes had begun to turn to black before her very eyes. "I understand." He started. "You deserve everything I can never give you."

She stepped forward and placed a light kiss on his check. She reached out and squeezed his hand in her own. "This is the last you'll ever see of me. I'm moving to Fort Lauderdale to be with my mom and Phil. I miss the sun too."

With one last look at him, she turned and began to walk out of the forest and back towards her house. After a few hurried steps she picked up her speed and started to run as fast as she possibly could out of the trees. Once the brush turned to grass beneath her feet she stumbled, and fell down to her knees. She continued as fast as she could, crawling across the cold grass until her fingers touched the stone pavement of the pathway in front of her father's small house.

She clenched her hands into fists and pressed them against her stomach, the pain beginning to over power her. She could no longer see from the tears that had started to spill from her eyes, and her head was pounding from the blood rushing through her body. She felt cold, and empty, and so dizzy she knew it would be a minute until she could stand up on her own.

She had never felt a pain like this before, she had broken her own heart...but she had to believe it was the truth. She needed to believe in what she had just told Edward so that he in turn could believe it too. Yet as she sat on her front step, her head in her hands, and her heart shattered into a million pieces in her chest, she felt as if nothing would ever be right again.

She had given up an angel. Did that make her the devil?

After a few minutes she crawled up the front steps and into her house. She forced herself up the stairs and into her bedroom where she began to pack. She had a plane to catch in just an hour.