I'm working on something new, and needed to get something out on a page, before I beat up my computer for lack of Luna brain power.
This is a little one shot idea from iHate Sam's Boyfriend. Fredward looks a little uncomfortable setting Jonah up with Sam; I wonder why...
Disclaimer: Gotta follow the rules, it belongs to you know who...aka, not me.
Am I really standing here running liaison on Sam's love life? Why do I always get pushed into these things? Right…because Carly said 'for me'.
"So um, I hear…she kind of likes you," I test. Do I really have to do this?
"Does she?" Jonah cocked his eyebrows in interest. "Tell me about her," he said as he leaned smoothly against the desk.
"Sure." Only because Carly's making me. "Well she's…" I stalled.
She's what? She's like poison ivy: all lively and lush and tempting, but she'll leave you marked with splotches and pain for a week? She's like getting a picture of Keira Knightly wearing a bikini in your e-mail, only to find out that it downloads to a virus that wipes out your entire hard drive?
"Psshh…She's…got…really great teeth," I stumble.
"That's great, but what's she like?" Jonah pushes.
"Well, she's like…"
She's the one who steals your favorite gum from your backpack, and then surprises you by offering you the last piece.
"She's really nice,"
She's like opening a box of underwear and socks that your grandma sent you for Christmas and finding the $20 bill taped to the bottom, just before you throw aside the box.
"Cool,"
She's like spinning in circles with your eyes open, and everything rushes past you so fast you can't make heads or tails of anything, but you can't help but laugh at what it does to your head until you fall into the grass breathing in the cool air.
"Pleasant to be around," I stutter.
My stomach churns in disgust. What am I doing?
"Man, are you ok?" Jonah jumps up. "You look kind of sick!"
"Yeah." Of course I'm not ok. Sam is all of these things, and she deserves someone who understands her, and I'm selling her out to some random stranger.
I hold my stomach; I think I am going to be sick.
"So um, " I gulp. No turning back now. "Why don't you ask Sam out?" Please say no, please say no.
"Ok, I will," he bounces without hesitation. "Thanks for hooking me up!"
NO! NO! NO! He didn't even think of her at all. Does he not understand what a special case she is?
"I'm talking about the blond one!" Maybe if I'm lucky he'll be confused…wait no, Carly's mine!
"Chyeah!" he chuckled. The bell rang and he turned around to take his seat.
That was it, the deed was done, "Well Ok…" I mutter as I take my seat.
Why do I have a bad feeling about this? Sorry Sam. Some friend I turned out to be.
A/N: I have to say, I always hate when an author is selfdeprecating and saying "this was not my best work, and its probably not even good," but...I know it's not my best work...probably not even good...not even the title! My computer, however, sincerely thanks you for reading it. It worked so hard on it! Me...not so much. It did serve it's purpose, though. You saved it's life! Leave a review, if you feel like it. If you don't, it won't hurt my feelings...much.
