September, 2015…

It had been officially two months since Blaine had had packed up his things, moved out of the apartment and booked his flight back to Ohio, without saying a word to Kurt. Yeah. It hurt. A lot. All Kurt wanted was to call of the engagement..at least for a little while longer. He had no intention of breaking up with Blaine. But the younger man had clearly misunderstood what he meant.

****flashback*****

"Let's just call it quits before we completely hate each other."

Blaine's eyes shut tight and his body shook with each sob. "I will never forgive you for this. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." He stood up from his seat grabbing his umbrella and rushing back out into the rain.

Kurt sat there. Eyes fixed where his fiancé...ex-fiancé? Ex…!? Was just sitting. Tears were welling up in his eyes. He dug in his wallet for some cash and left a few bills on the table for their drinks before he himself went out in the rain. Blaine was nowhere to be seen. So, he hailed a cab and headed back to Bushwick.

When he walked into the loft, he honestly was expecting Blaine to be sitting out the couch, maybe a little bit more calm and willing to talk. But...nothing. He wasn't there. Kurt sighed and shook out his wet umbrella and placed it in the hall. He slipped off his shoes and let out a shaky breath. He was scared. Worried. And so upset. And a little bit angry too! Why did Blaine always have to make everything about him? Why couldn't he ever, for once, just listen to what he was saying. The words kept repeating in his head over and over and over again. 'I hate you. I hate you.' How could he!

By the time Kurt had a glass and a water pitcher, his hands were shaking so much he couldn't even pour himself a damn glass. He put down the pitcher and placed the palm of his hands down on the counter, closed his eyes and sighed. And a broken sob escaped his lips. He pressed his fingers to his eyes.

"I'm so fucking stupid!" Kurt spat into the empty apartment. Suddenly the large space felt very tight and small. He couldn't breath. "Oh no" he thought. It was happening. He was having a panic attack. Kurt hadn't had one this bad since the begging of junior year...of high school! He felt dizzy and numb. He couldn't feel his hands or his legs. He carefully stepped forward and collapsed in the chair. "Deep breathes. Just breathe, Kurt. Breathe, damn it!" He told himself. He kept his eyes closed as the tears slowly kept falling and his breathes began to even out. It took awhile but he got there.

A few moments later the large apartment door slid open. Kurt's head snapped up. Blaine glanced at him for a mere two seconds before looking down at his shoes, which he began to take off. He threw his umbrella on the ground and ripped off his wet cardigan. Bawling it up in his hand and huffing as he walked past kurt and into...their (?) bedroom.

"So he's ignoring me now?" Kurt thought. "Yeah no, I don't think so." He shook his head and stood up, following the shorter man. "...can we- please can we just talk-"

"I have nothing to say to you." Blaine cut in. His back was to Kurt and he was looking out of the dark window.

"If you would just listen-"

"Oh, I think I've heard enough, Kurt."

The light haired man shook his head. It was useless trying to talk to him like this. "...do you really hate me? You hate me because I…" He caught his breath, trying not to cry. "...cause I told you I'm not ready? Because I want us to slow down? Don't you get it, Blaine? I'm scared!"

Blaine turned around and looked at him.

"I don't want to get married yet! I'm 22 years old!" Kurt scoffed. "We have our whole lives ahead of us. College, careers, dreams and goals. I'm trying to get a permanent job at Vogue and with working shifts at the diner and trying to find gigs for a band and then wanting to do good in school and keep my grades up and trying to make you happy and plan a wedding it's just-I feel so overwhelmed! We're rushing into this way too soon! I want this. I want us to get married...someday." Now he was crying. "But...I tell you I'm unhappy and you tell me you hate me?!"

Blaine shook his head, placing a hand on his hip. "No. No, this isn't about you not being ready or scared. If you weren't ready, you wouldn't have said yes!"

"How was I supposed to say no!? I love you! And you bring me to the place we met, with all our friends, family, teachers, three other show choirs! Rose petals, and you serenade me and it's the most romantic thing ever! I'm surprised the news channels weren't broadcasting it all over tv! And you wanted me to say no?"

"I wanted you to want me just as much as I want you-"

"No! You don't want me! You just want to get married! You're obsessed with the idea of me. The idea of what you want me to be."

"Oh, bullshit, Kurt! You know that's not true!" Blaine shouted as his eyes grew wet with tears. "If you really felt this way you would've said something sooner. It's cause I moved back in. That's what it is."

Kurt shook his head. "If we can't even live together as fiancés, how in god's name are we gonna do it as husbands?!"

"We're not." Blaine simply said. And he walked passed Kurt and out into the living room. Of course Kurt followed. "...you said we have dreams right? Goals?" Blaine turned around and looked Kurt in the eyes. "Marrying you is my dream. Proposing to you was a goal I made, the moment I chased you out in that god damn hallway when they announced your name as prom queen."

Kurt looked away, and tears poured down his face.

"I have given you everything. Everything I do it has always been for you. Not a moment goes by where I don't think about you. But as it turns out...I'm not good enough for you."

The taller man looked up. "You know that's not true." He whispered. "I love you, Blaine. So much." He cried. "But all I wanted was for us to call off the engagement..I didn't think me talking to you about my feelings would turn into a pity party about how you're not good enough. And you know what, maybe if you didn't always blame me for things, and actually listened to me when I talk to you, this conversation would have went a lot better."

Blaine chuckled sarcastically. "Wow! Ok….so it's my fault." he shook his head and walked over to the back of the room and pulled out the luggage's from behind the piano. Kurt watched him with sad eyes. Blaine went into the bedroom and began ripping clothes off hangers. Swiping socks off floors and out of the dresser. Anything that was his that was laying around the apartment he took and threw into the luggage. He grabbed his phone and booked a room at a hotel. Twenty minutes later he emerged from the bedroom with two large luggage's at his side. Kurt stood up and from the couch and stepped in front of him.

"Where are you going? I didn't mean for us to fight- I only wanted us to talk-"

"I'm leaving, Kurt."

"...Blaine I'm...we can fix this.."

"Why? It's not something you want anymore." He looked Kurt in the eyes. Both of them were crying.

"I'm so sorry." Kurt whispered.

Blaine bit his lip. "Yeah, me too."

"Blaine...I love you….Please don't do this."

"You're right Kurt. It's better to end this before we end up completely hating each other…" he leaned in and kissed Kurt softly on the lips. "...goodbye." And he made his way to the door throwing on a raincoat.

"No. No, no, no, no! We don't do that! We don't say that! Blaine, please! Don't go..."

But he was already out the door and down the hall. And Kurt just let him go. He watched him leave.

****Present****

Kurt was trying to move on. Truly, he was. But everyone was gone and moving on with their lives. Rachel has her tv show, Mercedes was on tour with Santana and Brittany, Sam was in Ohio...as was Blaine. God, not a day goes by where Kurt doesn't think of him. The apartment was empty and it made him feel even more lonely. Everything everywhere reminded him of everyone. Three days ago, he went where they were all supposed to meet. As promised. And no one came. Not even Artie who was still in the city. NYADA was fine..kind of. Everyone constantly asked him about Blaine and time and time again he needed to explain how they broke off the engagement. Other than that he was doing good in his classes

It was a Thursday afternoon and Kurt's morning class was finished. It was time Kurt really tried with the whole moving on thing. So...he decided to give speed dating a go. And let's just say that was the biggest fail. Every guy was worse than the next. A lot of them were quite a few years older than Kurt. Some were rude some were boring. Some were just looking for sex. Simply put, none of them were Blaine. Kurt left the small restaurant an hour or so later and took his time getting home.

He sat down on the couch in some comfy clothes and ate some left over Chinese. His phone vibrated next to him on the cushion.

Incoming call from

Rachel Berry

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows and picked up the call. "Hello?"

"Oh my god, Kurt! Thank god you answered! I'm a mess. Everything's a mess! I've ruined everything. My careers is over! The show failed, I left fanny, I dropped NYADA! I don't know what to do!" Rachel cried into the speaker.

"Woah, woah, hunnie, slow down...what's going on?"

"The show..it didn't make the cut. It was sooo bad, Kurt. They wouldn't even sign the first episode and the writers have no intention of trying anything else...I'm back home. In Ohio. And my dads are getting a divorce. My whole life is crumbling apart."

"...Rachel, I'm so sorry."

"And...how come you didn't tell me about you and Blaine? I ran into him at the Lima bean."

"Well, you were busy and honestly I didn't wanna talk about it...it all hurts too much. But, right now isn't about me. This is about you."

"I don't know what I'm doing. Blaine suggested I try and start the glee club up again at McKinley, and let me just say, it's not easy."

"You're Rachel Berry. You can do anything you set your mind to."

"Yeah well...lately I've forgotten what it feels like to be me."

They were both silent.

"Well..I'll let you go. I'm sure you're busy with school and everything. I'll...call you later, Kurt. Bye."

"Bye-"

The call ended and he placed his phone down. He sighed and returned his attention back to his dinner, finishing it and then heading to bed.

Saturday morning, Kurt found himself on a plane to Ohio. Why? Because he had a week off from classes and he called out of work and he missed his dad and Carole. He also wanted to see Rachel. He missed her a lot too. And maybe..he'd run into Blaine!

The plane landed at around 9:30 am. He called a car and took it home. When he arrived at his childhood home, his parents weren't there, already gone to work. He let himself in and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in. He took off his coat and walked in the living room to lay down for a bit. And then, he started crying. Everything suddenly hit him. Besides school and a decent internship, what did he have in New York? His family was here. His friends were gone. He was also, so lonely. Rachel. He thought. He grabbed his keys that were still in the glass bowl and drove the short drive to his friends house.

He knocked lightly on the door and Hiram politely greeted him. "Oh, Kurt! Long time no see."

Kurt smiled. "Hi, Mr. Berry."

"I'd assume you're looking for Rachel." He stated. Kurt nodded. "Well, she's not home right now she just ran out. She should be back any minute. But, please come in. You can go wait for her upstairs if you'd like."

And so he did. He took off his coat and shoes and took out his phone. He contemplated texting her but decided against it. And so he sat. And he waited. And the more he sat and thought, the worse he felt. And his eyes started to well with tears, and they must've waited for the right moment because Rachel's head popped through the doorway.

"Hey, Rachel…" And Kurt couldn't keep it in anymore. Rachel hurried over and hugged Kurt close to her. Kurt sighed.

"Hey, shhh it's gonna be ok." She cooed. Kurt continued to cry. He let it all out. And Rachel held him and rubbed his shoulders soothingly. After Kurt's sobs calmed down and his tears stopped falling as rapidly. They separated from their embrace. "..You're back. Here. In..Ohio? Why? I thought you'd never wanna come back here."

"That makes two of us. But I just missed everyone. I really wanted to see my dad. He wasn't home and..I thought you might be so, I came here. Everyone's off doing...their thing…Do remember that pact we made. How we'd all come back to that one spot? Well…I showed up. Six months ago, you said we would meet at that spot outside the loft cause no matter what our friendships were the most important thing. Well, I was the only one who showed up. And you were clearly in midst of a nervous breakdown. And...well, Blaine...well I-I blew it. I blew the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Are you sure you're not just saying that because you're lonely? I mean New York must feel pretty empty without all of us there."

Kurt shook his head. "No…..Blaine's the love of my life. I started seeing this therapist who said I have this thing with love. You know, men fight as a way to stay connected, but Blaine wasn't like that. He wasn't..afraid of intimacy."

Rachel didn't know what to say. What could she say?

"H-has he said anything?"

"...he seems to be in a good place about it."

"Well that's great. Well, m-maybe I can fix it. Do you think you can arrange a meeting between him and I in a neutral place somwhere here in Lima?"

"Um, I'm confused. How do you plan to fix things long distance?"

"Well...maybe it doesn't have to be long distance. Look I...I want to be here with you guys. You've got to help me." Kurt desperately spoke. "Maybe we can have our redemption here together."

Rachel smiled positively and nodded. "I think I have the perfect idea."

"Oh, Rachel thank you!" Kurt hugged his friend tightly.

"Yeah...I'll send him a text in a bit but what do you say for now we go get some lunch?"

Kurt nodded liking the sound of that. "Yes, please. I'm starving."

The rest of the afternoon him and Rachel caught up with one another. Talked about random moments, memory's. And at around 4, Kurt and Rachel parted ways.

Kurt sat in the kitchen at his house typing a paper that was do for his journalism class. He heard the front door unlock and he never got up from a chair so fast in his life. Before Burt could even close the front door, Kurt was wrapped up in his arms.

"Dad!"

"H-hey!" Burt laughed. He held Kurt tight in his arms. He hadn't seen his son since the whole 'gay bash' incident a few months back . They pulled apart from their hug and the smile that was on Burt's face dropped when he noticed his son was crying. "What's wrong? What's going on? Why-why you cryin'?"

Kurt shrugged. "I-I just missed you. A lot." He nodded, and hugged his father again.

"Bud..?"

"Blaine and I broke up." Kurt blurted out. "And everyone left. I'm all alone out there. I just missed everyone, so much-"

"Kiddo, I missed you too. But, back up for a minute. Sit down." They made their way back to the kitchen and sat at the table. "You and Blaine…? That's it? Just like that?"

"We kept fighting. Everyday was something new. Who's turn it was to clean the dishes, who didn't do the laundry, who used all the hot water, why was the heat on and not the air conditioning, why did I use the hand towel on my face-"

"You sure you two weren't married?" Burt teased. Kurt sighed. "Too soon?"

Kurt shook his head and shrugged. "I miss him, dad. I just wanted for us to slow down. Everything felt so rushed and he wouldn't listen to me about anything. But...he's the only one who knows me. And who gets me. He really is the love of my life...and I'm gonna get him back."

Burt raised an eyebrow. "O-Kay...and how do you intend on doing that?"

"I'm not sure yet but, I just need to see him."

"Maybe you two should take a break. It can't hurt."

Kurt shook his head. "No. I mean...not this kind of break. We haven't spoken in three months. I just wanna talk.."

Saturday night Kurt was seated at a table in scandals. Three and a half years later and the place was still playing the same music. Kurt patiently sat. Checking the time every five seconds. Yeah..he was there a little early but he didn't want to miss Blaine. Surprisingly, the bar was kinda full. Well, full for a gay bar in west Lima. He ordered himself a beer and drank a bit of that. He was getting anxious and nervous. Just be cool. Keep your words as straight as an arrow.

"Hi!"

Kurt's head whipped around.

"I hope you weren't waiting long." His ex-fiancé said, standing right in front of him.

"Oh-uh-no, no! H-hi!" Kurt nervously greeted and leaned in for a hug.

"Hi. Hello."

The two men awkwardly...hugged.

"Hi. Hi." Blaine quietly repeated. He placed his hand on Kurt's shoulder and sat down at the chair across from Kurt. The taller of the two chuckled lightly.

"Um..I appreciate you coming to see me. I-I would understand if you had told me to screw off."

"No! No, no. I've wanted to see you, uh-"

"Well I-I'm here to get you back." Kurt cut in. "I don't mean to blurt it out like that, but for the sake of clarity, you should know that first.." Kurt places his hand on Blaine's. "I'm going to get your forgiveness, and then I'm gonna get your heart back."

"...uh..I'm seeing someone." Blaine informed his ex.

Kurt's face visibility dropped. Don't cry. Be cool. Smile. Oh, God. I'm gonna be sick.

"And I wanted to tell you in person..especially because you know him."

Please don't say Sebastian Smythe.

"H-H-Hey, Kurt!" A hand was suddenly slammed on his shoulder and Kurt shook. There he was. David Karofsky. And he was leaning in and...KISSING BLAINE?

Kurt hardly remember the next few minutes of their conversation. He excused himself and hurried off to the bathroom locking himself in their and closing himself in a stall. His fists hit the wall and he leaned his back against it as he cried. He slid down the wall and sat on the floor sobbing. Why? Of all people. Blaine decides to date David Karofsky. Kurt's ex bully. The guy who threatened to kill him. How could he?! Kurt sat there crying for quite a while. He didn't want to go back out there. He couldn't go back out there. How was he supposed to pretend like he was fine with this? He decided he wouldn't have to and that he would just sneak out and say something came up! Yes! Perfect. So, he freshened up. Unlocked the bathroom door and made a beeline for the exit.

Early Sunday morning, Kurt was up and out of bed. He didn't get much sleep. Maybe an hour or two. He mostly cried all night. His heart hurt. He never felt more alone. It was a little after 8 when Kurt made his way to the Lima bean for a nice, hot cup of coffee and maybe even a chocolate chip cookie.

He waited patiently for his order and thanked the baristas politely. And with his luck, as he turned around he nearly crashed into another person. Luckily they were much quicker on their feet. The taller guy grabbed Kurt's arm keeping his coffee steady.

"Woah, easy!" The other man laughed.

"I'm sorry. That was my fault I'm-"

"...well, well, well, are my eyes deceiving me or is Kurt Hummel here, in the Lima bean?"

"Hi, Sebastian." Kurt sighed. "You know what I take back my apology I wish my coffee had burned your meerkat face."

"And people tell me I'm bitchy." The former warbler teased. Kurt rolled his eyes. "..how are you?" He genuinely asked.

Kurt shook his head. "Not good. I've been better."

"You're back in Ohio." He noted.

Kurt nodded. "Look at you go, detective!"

Sebastian laughed. "My, I've missed your wit, Hummel."

Kurt shrugged playfully.

"Do you have anywhere you need to be or..?"

Kurt's brows furrowed. "No? Why?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to grab a table and just..chat for a bit..? You don't have to I just thought maybe-"

"No! I'd like that..to chat." Kurt agreed.

"Awesome." The other boy smiled. "Let me just get my drink and I'll come join you."

Kurt grabbed a table in the back corner and sat down with his cookie and his drink. Shortly after, Sebastian joined him. "It's very odd that I ran into you today."

"Why's that?" Sebastian questioned.

"I thought of you last night."

"Oh!" Sebastian smirked. "How sweet of you. I didn't know I helped you in your hours of darkness."

"Not like that!" Kurt snapped. The taller man laughed loudly.

"I'm only teasing, Kurt. I know Blaine takes good care of you."

Kurt cleared his throat and he took a sip of his coffee.

"What? Did I say something?"

Kurt shook his head. "No, nothing it's just, Blaine and I we're...we aren't together anymore. He's seeing someone else." He told him.

"You're kidding? Even after that whole big proposal?! You guys broke up? Did he cheat again?!"

"No it wasn't like that. Things just weren't working out."

"Oh..I see….so last night then..?" He winked.

"No! No, I was not thinking-God, you are so gross! I met with Blaine last night and he told me about this new guy he was seeing and...I thought maybe it was you." The coiffed hair guy spoke.

"Me?" Sebastian laughed. "Oh, babe, that ship has sailed. Don't get me wrong, Anderson has one fine ass, but he told me it would never work out because there's no way he'd ever bottom for me. Which I guess in a way is a compliment..?"

"He told you that?!"

"Relax. It was when you two were..not dating but still fucking? Yeah. During that time." The meerkat looking guy said. Kurt nodded as he looked down at his hands which were wrapped around the paper coffee cup. "...are you ok?" Sebastian cautiously asked.

Kurt shrugged. "Don't know. He's...he's hurt me so many times but..I can't seem to let go of him."

Sebastian smiled sadly and let out a single chuckle. "Funny thing about love...it makes you do all sorts of crazy things."

"Yeah…" Kurt softly spoke. Sebastian shifted in his seat. The shorter of the two looked up. "Who was he..?" He asked. Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Who ever it is you were just referring to."

"Oh..No one really. Just...some guy I thought I actually had a chance with. We met a little over a year ago and then things just weren't working out. I thought it was my fault and I kept trying to fix it. That just made shit worse."

Kurt listened closely.

"We were doing really well, actually! And then...A lot happens in a year, you know?"

"Mhm..Oh trust me, I know."

They were both quiet for a moment.

"-Right well...it doesn't matter ok. I'm..moving on. You should do the same. You said it yourself; He's hurt you so many times, and yet you always go back. Maybe it's time you finally learned to...let go."

Almost a week later, Kurt found himself taking the title of co-director of McKinley's...new glee club with Rachel. Principal Sue Sylvester was not happy to learn that it was back and up and running. They were having a hard time recruiting students to join, so far only getting one guy named Roderick, who had one killer voice.

Four thirty that Friday, Kurt left McKinley high and headed home for the rest of his night. Upon arriving, Carole was already back and cooking up dinner in the kitchen.

"Carole?!" Kurt called as he took off his light jacket.

"In here!"

Kurt headed in the direction of his stepmother's voice to find her wearing a red and white checkered apron while frying some chicken over the stove. She turned around as Kurt entered the room. "Kurt, sweetie! How was your day? Any luck on getting more kids to join glee?" She enthusiastically spoke.

Kurt sat down at the counter shaking his head. "No. No one else. But we're really trying! Other than that though, my day was pretty good. How about you?" He smiled.

"It was alright I suppose. One good thing about today was that it was my early shift so I got home nice and early. Don't tell your father, but I napped on the couch for a few hours." Carole laughed.

Kurt put his pointer finger to his lips mimicking a quiet 'shhhh!'

"Soooo! Any plans for tonight?! Going out?" The older woman asked.

Kurt shrugged as he reached for some of the almonds sitting on the counter. "I don't know. I was thinking of going..out for a bit but...I felt kinda off about it." He honestly replied.

"No! You should go! Have some fun for once! Not that...you aren't fun it's just," Carole took the last chicken off the stove, lowered the flame and turned to look at her son. "you've been so lonely and sad lately. I hate seeing you like that considering I know how much of a happy person you've become in the past year!"

"A lot happens in a year.."

Carole slowly nodded. "...that it does…"

Kurt's expression grew somber. And Carole shook her head. "Nope. None of that!" She walked around the counter and placed her hands on the sides of Kurt's shoulders. "Smile! Be happy! Go out, and have a good time! Only after you eat dinner with us though."

Kurt cracked a smile. "Okay..fine. I'll stay for dinner and then hit the town for the night."

And so he did. He ate a lovely home cooked dinner with his father and Carole, partially helped with the dishes before Carole kicked him out, and then headed up to his room to change into something a little more scandals appropriate. Tight black skinny jeans and a navy blue, short sleeved button down tucked into his pants and secured with a belt, paired with some nice boots. He loosened up his hair a bit, also deciding to play around and unbuttoned the top few buttons on his shirt.

"I'm heading out! I'll see you later!" He called as he exited the house. He got in his car and headed off.