Author: chaosdablkcat

Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys & Martha/Tom

Rating: M (Warning: Contains profanity)

Summary: C.O.E. fix-it/A.U.: To what extremes will Jack go to get the man he loves back?

Disclaimer: Some of the characters in this story belong to the BBC.

Beta Read By: Kaseykc

Author's Note:The lovely Kaseykc has now agreed to be my beta reader. She has worked very hard to give my work a "British" voice. And I really recommend that everyone re-read this story and let her know how much you appreciate her efforts.


Captain Jack Harkness rested on the bench that sat against the hallway outside the room where Steven had died. He was staring at the floor desperately trying to compose himself as he tried to decide what to do next. He had already called Gwen to find out that Ianto's family was okay. Now he just wanted to talk to Alice to try to explain why he had to do it; to beg for her to forgive him. He had lost so much over the last few days that he just couldn't stand losing her too. He kept thinking about the repercussions of the last few days in his head.

"Oh God...I killed my own grandson!!!...Why did I have to choose between him and all those other children?... Damnit it's not fair!!!... I can't die and everyone I love ends up dead!!!... I can't stand this!!!... Oh Ianto, I wish you were here right now... You would have helped me find another way... A way to save all of the children including Steven...But I got you killed too!!!... It's all my fault... I shouldn't have let you come with me... I should have made you stay with Gwen, DAMNIT!!! You were just 26 years old!!!...You were just a baby... And you died just because you loved me!!!... I should've ret-conned you and Gwen after Tosh and Owen died... I would have missed you terribly but you'd still be alive!!!

Why did this happen? Where in the hell is the Doctor? It wasn't supposed to happen like this... Where is the bloody Time Agency? I don't remember anything like this happening in the official historical records!!!... And where in the hell is the fucking Shadow Proclamation???... They're supposed to prevent things like this from happening!!! ... Aren't they supposed to protect small backward planets like this?

Where the in the fucking hell are they?

Alice hates me now... she hates me for killing Steven... But what in the fuck was I supposed to do???... One life for millions! It wasn't like I even had a real choice... FUCK... I hate this... I hate this...I hate my life...I want to die!!! Oh...God, Rose why in the hell did you do this to me? Why can't I die? I want to die... I want to die... I want to die... I want to end this!

The hub's gone...the SUV's gone... Suzie's dead...Grey's dead...Tosh's dead...Owen's dead...Myfanwy's dead...Janet's dead...Ianto's dead...Steven's dead...Alice hates me!

It's all my fault... I can't do this anymore...They were never supposed to question our authority... Torchwood was supposed to be untouchable! Fucking politicians playing God with children's lives... It's my fault... I should have told them 'no' in 1965 when they came the first time!

No... No... No... This isn't happening!

I want my family back!

I want my lover back!

I WANT MY FUCKING LIFE BACK!!!!"

Alice walked through the double doors at the end of the hallway, not really thinking; so traumatised by the death of her beautiful boy. When she looked up from the ground she saw at her father sitting at the far end of the corridor. He raised his head and looked at her with despair on his face his eyes brimming with unshed tears.

Any other time she may have gone over to him and cared for him; made him feel better but that time had long since passed; he deserved nothing from her except contempt. With a look of disgust on her face and tears running freely down her cheeks, she glared at him and said nothing, choosing to instead turn back around and simply leave him there. Alone.

Slowly, with a broken heart, Jack rose from the bench and absently walked through the double doors at the opposite end of the hall; not knowing where he was going or what he was going to do next.