New story. Full of angst and all that fun stuff. And it will consist of several chapters. Hope you all enjoy.
Prologue
December 31st, 2011, 11:53 p.m.
It was cold. The frosty winter wind bit harshly at her exposed skin. She stood outside on the front walkway, her teeth chattering and her hands shaking as she struggled to remove the cigarette from its pack. She tapped once, twice, allowing half of it to slide out before bringing the tip to her numb lips and pulling. She exhaled loudly, the steam from her breath blowing out against the night. The muffled sounds of music and joy reverberated behind her. The cacophony of the party inside the house was too much. She just needed a moment to think. She had only moments left anyway. She flicked her lighter, watching as the wind carried the flame every which way before she lifted it to her cigarette and inhaled, letting the smoke enter her system, calming her. Tears from the elements mixed with tears from her emotions. She wasn't ready. There was too much to be done. Too much that wasn't said.
A cold, hard hand gripped her shoulder and she shuddered, sucking in a heaving breath and biting back her tears. "Are you ready?"
She swiped a tear with her hand, and refused to look at him. "No. But there's nothing I can do about that can I?"
"You have a few more minutes." He reasoned, his gaze piercing through her.
Before she had time to respond, the door creaked open and the music got louder as a voice called to her. "San?"
Santana turned, taking another long drag of her cigarette as the blonde bounded down the walkway, rubbing her hands up and down her bare arms. "What are you doing out here alone? It's almost midnight and I want to kiss my girlfriend on New Years." When she stepped closer, she saw the tear marks and the pained expression. "Hey." She whispered. "Are you okay?"
Santana nodded, flicking her cigarette into the snow. "Yeah." She huffed, absently swiping at her face again. "Yeah, Britt. Yeah, fine. Let's go back in, it's cold."
"Are you sure?" Brittany asked, lacing her fingers through Santana's.
"I'm sure." Santana reassured, dragging her girlfriend back inside. "Come on. They're playing a slow song and I want to dance with you one last time."
Brittany smiled slightly before realizing what Santana had actually said. "Santana what—" She was cut off when Santana pulled her close, wrapping her arms around her waist and kissing her, hard. Brittany could taste the new set of tears.
I want to hold the hand inside you
I want to take a breath that's true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth
"Babe, what's happening?" Brittany whispered as they broke apart. She tried to pull even further away but Santana held her close, slowly swaying to the song. "Santana." Santana kissed her gently then, and she felt her heartbeat quicken and her stomach turn. It felt like a goodbye kiss. She felt her own tears pool beneath her lids but she had no idea why. Santana pulled back slightly, letting their foreheads touch.
Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think it's strange, you never knew
"You know that I love you no matter what, right? These last few months have been the best few months of my life." Brittany nodded and she continued. "And I don't regret anything that's happened. Not one single thing, except," Santana sighed shakily, trying to work her way through her sobs. "If I could do it all over again, I'd have stopped caring and just loved you the way you deserve to be loved."
"Santana," Brittany cried, confused and afraid. "You're scaring me."
The song cut off and Rachel spoke excitedly into the microphone. "10 seconds guys! 10…9…8…"
Santana's breath quickened as the crowd began to count down. Just past the blonde, standing by the doorway, he waited patiently. Brittany's eyes frantically searched hers, and she felt her heart break at the pain and confusion she found in them. "Say you love me." Santana whispered, gripping Brittany's waist tighter.
"I love you." Brittany cried, closing her eyes.
Santana sobbed desperately. "I love you too. I always will."
"3…2..1…Happy New Year!"
Santana kissed Brittany then, feeling her life drain away.
Brittany sobbed as Santana's body sagged into hers, the weight sending her slowly to the floor. "NO!" She screamed, grabbing everyone's attention. "Santana!" A crowd circled around them immediately as Brittany placed Santana on the floor, shaking her shoulders gently. "Santana! What's happening? Santana? Santana!"
"SANTANA!"
