Author's Note: Consider this a sidetrack. [sigh. yes, they happen] And please note it is not in any way related to "Death Would Be Simpler to Deal With", nor does it represent the character Allan's feelings toward any particular characters in that ongoing work.
It is utterly unrelated, other than that when you're writing Allan, he tends to crawl up into your head when you're not looking, and surprise you when you least expect it.
If Allan-A-Dale Wrote a Love Poem
It might begin as quite anatomically ribald...
"Your breasts are like a set of summer melons,
more than a mouthful wasted.
Your breasts are like pre-Lenten pastries,
a sin not to be tasted.
Your breasts are like a shop's display of sweetmeats,
to tantalize the eye
Your legs are naught but a mystery,
of that I cannot lie.
Your hips you sway quite knowingly to set a man to swoon.
You take my breath like the hanging that I escaped too soon
to stop this heart within my chest,
its beating now in rhythm
with something other than dice well-rolled
Or 'borrowed' gems cutting colors like a prism."
It could prove surprisingly sweet, once he got past the cheekiest bits...
"But this heart, the only true
possession of any thief,
it hardly knows when you it sees
to laugh or smirk or weep.
I cannot hope to tell you how I find I feel.
To speak so would seem of purpose funny,
as though your heart I wish to steal.
But worry not of thievery.
For this one true thing I find:
I cannot ask you for your heart,
but, gladly, give you mine."
And a bit melancholy, as he knows the outlaw life too well...
"'Away with me, my love,' I'd say,
and sweep you off your feet.
Excepting how I must live now,
the King's own venison to eat."
And, as it is Allan, he would surely strive for wit and cheek...
"Sherwood is no place for well-bred lass
to seek to lay her head.
But rather, after time one may find
when proper laid...a 'bred-well' lass
might like it for her bed.
Ending it with a pick-up line (of sorts)...[and a partially stolen one, at that]
So come, then, my gal, my heart,
Let us all the pleasures prove
of life lived freely, as outlaws
together in the Wood."
Even though there's nothing particularly BBC's Robin Hood about this (save maybe the reference to the hanging) I don't own that property. If you think I do then you really haven't been watching enough television.
"All the pleasures prove" is a rip-off (if I were a rapper or a pop artist, I'd call it a 'sample') of Christopher Marlowe's famous love poem, "The Passionate Shepherd to His Love". I don't think he minds. He's just happy to still be getting radio play.
Kit Marlowe exists in time after Allan-A-Dale would have. So, perhaps it was actually him that ripped off our Allan.