A/N: I want to update my other stories so badly but I can't think of anything for them… Grr…

Oh well. My failing at doing what I actually have to do but still having access to word means you get a one shot. Didn't I post one yesterday too? Yeah… You should go read that as well. It's better. But you're already here, so read this first :3

Disclaimer: Do you really think I would be writing a fanfiction if I actually owned Kingdom Hearts? Of course not. This would be cannon and Organization XIII would still be thriving.

Why'd they have to die… T – T

In The Castle that Never Was, all the nobodies awoke bright and early. The sound of artificial birds was playing through the intercom Saix had installed and Kingdom Hearts shone a little brighter to signify the morning. Sadly, the nobodies were not woken by the chirping of bird's or Kingdom Hearts' obnoxious light.

No, they were awoken by Marluxia having a spasm.

"OHMYGOODNESSGRACIOUSWHATHAPP ENEDTOMYHAIRBRUSH?" Yes, the fierce calls of a rampaging pinkette were heard throughout the entire castle as he, well, rampaged.

Larxene, feeling pissy since she was losing much needed beauty sleep, pinned Marluxia against a wall and began smacking his delicately feminine face. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" she yelled, adding a smack with every word.

Tears were streaming down Marluxia's face as he responded, "I-I can't find my hairbrush!" He collapsed on the floor, sobbing.

Larxene rolled her eyes. "Really? That's what you're freaking out about?" Marluxia nodded pathetically and Larxene face palmed. "Sometimes I'm ashamed to associate with losers like you…" She mumbled as she retreated back to her room.

Not five seconds later, she returned, boiling with rage. "WHO THE FUCK TOOK MY KUNAI?" she yelled, electricity sparking around her.

Nobody else entered that section of the castle that day; partially because they were terrified of Larxene, and partially because they had their own problems to deal with.

Exhibit A: Saix's hair. It had become quite clear that someone searching for the death sentence had put pink hair dye in his shampoo, and he now complained that he looked like, how Axel so considerately put it, a caterpillar that had been barfed on by unicorns with a human stuck underneath it.

Not long afterwards, Axel had gone to have his nice morning cup of blazing hot coffee. Well, someone thought it would be fun to switch everyone to iced coffee, and when Axel realized this, he threw a bitch fit and destroyed the entire kitchen and half the lounge.

He's now sitting in a corner crying because Xemnas is taking the repair costs out of his pay check. Smart move, Axel.

While all this was going on, people were realizing their own dilemmas. Xemnas's butt had been super-glued to his chair in the meeting room, someone had smashed all of Vexen's test tubes, and Xigbar's eye patch was nowhere to be found, so they were all forced to look at the gross, shriveled up hole where his right eye used to be.

That's right, Xigbar's eye is completely missing. He lent it to someone and they never gave it back.

Soon, even MORE problems were popping up. Someone shaved Xaldin's beard in his sleep, cut the strings on Demyx's sitar, doodled in Zexion's Lexicon with green marker, and gave Lexaus's room a makeover (it's now Sailor Moon themed). They even had the nerve to snatch Luxord's playing cards. And his backups. And his backups' backups. And his backups' backups' backups. They even had the nerve to take his 'in case of emergency' pack of cards he hid in the basement, underneath Xion's giant stuffed panda (which had also been stolen).

Now that only leaves Roxas. And his torment is the worst of all. Whoever had decided to do all of this also chose to swipe all of Roxas's underwear, including the pair he wore to bed last night. The blond interrogated Axel, Xion, Demyx, Zexion, and everyone else in the Organization, but none of them had taken his boxers. He had never felt so violated in his life (which isn't very long, since he's only been aware a few hundred days) but he had no one to blame it on.

As all of this chaos raged on, Riku laughed to himself on top of the castle. He had all of the nobodies' stolen things scattered about him in addition to the bottle of super glue, pair of scissors, and bottle of pink hair dye. His absentmindedly fiddled with the pair of Roxas's My Little Pony underwear in his hands as he chuckled at Larxene's screams and the combined sobs of Marluxia and Axel.

But then he noticed something was very wrong. And it wasn't the fact that he was musing over another boy's under pants. He dropped the boxers and looked around frantically. "Where the heck is my blindfold?"

##

Off in a different world, Naminé giggled, rubbing the black material of Riku's blindfold between her fingers. "I win~" she mused in a sing-song voice.

Because Naminé always wins. End of discussion.

A/N: Psst, hey, over here. Yeah that's right. You should totally review and/or go read "A Boy and his Ice Cream" okay? Thanks, you're awesome.