L LAWLIET: Owner's Guide And Maintenance Manual
DISCLAIMER: If I owned Death Note, it would suck.
About Your L Unit:
Responds To: L Lawliet, L Ryuzaki, Hideki Ryuga, Eraldo Coil, Deneuve, Pervert, Panda-Eyed Freak.
Age: 24 Default, See 'Optional Crap' to change
Birthday: October 31
Sign: Scorpio
Manufacturer: Death Note Corp., Super Smexy Division
Knowledge: 9/10
Conceptualization Power: 10/10
Will to act: 9/10
Motivation: 10/10
Social Skills: 1/10
Comes With:
Oversize white shirt
Oversize jeans
Laptop
Cell Phone (Stolen from MISA AMANE unit)
Candy (10 pounds)
Coffee (10 pounds)
Cash
300 cases to work on (Including the Kira case)
Optional Crap:
1. Age:
Your L LAWLIET unit is 24 at default, but when you order, you can specify whatever age you want him to be. L LAWLIET units age just like humans, so even if you want him to be 15, he will eventually grow up to be 94.
2. Turn-Ons:
L LAWLIET units don't usually have any specific turn-ons, but rabid fan girls can program their L LAWLIET units to like brown hair, or gray eyes, or the color blue, or whatever.
Programming:
L LAWLIET units are compatible with the following jobs:
Detective: L LAWLIET's current occupation.
Tutor: When bribed with cake, L LAWLIET units can help you with any subject. Be warned, it gets annoying when he corrects everything you do. He's sort of like an insomniac Clippy.
Bodyguard: L LAWLIET units are, let's face it, super creepy. He should scare away everybody. If anyone does come near you, your L LAWLIET unit is an expert in capoeira, and will likely kick their ass.
Computer Nerd: L LAWLIET units know everything, and therefore are very good at fixing things.
Pillow: In Awesome Detective or Confused mode, L LAWLIET units sit completely motionless and do not notice anything going on around them. In either mode, you can prop yourself up against him and use him as a pillow.
Modes:
L LAWLIET units can access the following modes:
Bored (default)
Awesome Detective
Confused
Depressed
Sugar Rush
Perverted
Scared
Insomniac
Kick-Ass
OOC
Bored: In this mode, your L LAWLIET unit will be a little more sociable, as he doesn't have a case to work on. When bored, L LAWLIET units play chess, work on Rubik's Cubes, read, and search for a case.
Awesome Detective: When your L LAWLIET unit finds a case, he enters this mode. He will immediately curl up in his thinking position and obsess over the case. This won't stop until he solves the case. He then goes back to Bored mode.
Confused: There are only three ways to make an L LAWLIET unit confused. The first involves showing him an L/Light yaoi Fanfic. The second way is to make him believe a LIGHT YAGAMI unit is not Kira and a MISA AMANE unit is not the second Kira. And the third way is to introduce him to a MELLO unit, seeing as nobody can figure out MELLO's gender. In Confused mode, an L LAWLIET unit will sit motionless until he figures out what the hell is going on.
Depressed: When your L LAWLIET unit gets to a dead end in the Kira case, he enters Depressed mode. You can get him out of this mode by offering him cake, solving his problem, or punching him square in the face (Although this unlocks Kick-Ass mode)
Sugar Rush: L LAWLIET units enter this mode when they eat too much sugar. L LAWLIET units in Sugar Rush mode tend to vibrate, talk a lot, and attempt to shoot things with their fingers while yelling "BANG!".
Perverted: This mode is accessed randomly when your L LAWLIET unit is bored, OR when you show him something dirty. We think you can figure out what happens in this mode.
Scared: This mode is unlocked when L LAWLIET meets any of the Shinigami units. He then puts his hands in the air, screams, and falls out of his chair. Alternatively, he may enter Scared mode when he figures out what L/Light yaoi is, but this involves him throwing up and hiding from LIGHT YAGAMI units for a while.
Insomniac: L LAWLIET units automatically enter this mode at night. He will probably watch you at night. Trust me, it's creepy.
Kick-Ass: When L LAWLIET modes get in a fight, they enter Kick-Ass mode. They can beat Chuck Norris himself in this mode.
OOC: OOC mode is unlocked when L LAWLIET develops an intimate relationship with anyone. OOC L LAWLIET units daydream often, and want nothing more than to love and be loved.
Hygiene:
L LAWLIET units can clean themselves, but they don't understand privacy, and won't mind if you wash them.
Food:
L LAWLIET units are picky and only eat sugar and fruits.
FAQ's And Troubleshooting
My L LAWLIET unit wrote something in a black notebook and died 23 days later. What happened?
He wrote his name in a Death Note and died.
I ordered an L LAWLIET unit, but instead I received an anorexic panda. What the hell?
No, that's your L LAWLIET unit.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Can I brush my L LAWLIET unit's hair?
Please don't. His hair looks better messy.
Are L LAWLIET units *giggle* anatomically correct?
*giggle* Yes.
When I unpacked my unit, a bunch of rabid fangirls showed up. Why?
That happens sometimes because L LAWLIET is so friggin' smexy.
Yeah…..this sucked. If you like it, I'll add more FAQ's or something. Meh…Maybe.