This poem was written for a close friend of mine who was raped and beaten by her father and brother.

Don't give me any crap about it.

Yuki

By Silver

June 17th 2008

I've waited

Oh I've waited so long for this day

The day that everything fell apart

Our love

Our relationship

You just sorta snapped

And took it all out on me

Even though it wasn't my fault

I'm always the one to blame

That's why I hid all the bruises

That you left on my body

Sometimes you'd just take it too far

I'd end up on the floor bleeding and crying

A shiver ran down my spine

As I remember what you've done to me

How you tainted my body

Used it for your own personal gain

And it hurt

Your actions slowly ripped away

Bits and pieces of my soul

There was a grip on my heart



Even after you finish and were done with me

It hurt more and more

As if there was something else

Beside my soul that was breaking

Even after all you've done to me

I still love you

As I walk through the snow

A small trail of blood after me

All I could think of was you

How much you loved my

And cared for me

Trying to push out all the bad

That was seeping in

You poked fun at me

Even when I was down

And thought it couldn't get worse

You always made sure it would be

My legs gave way into the icy cold snow

I turn myself over

Sighing as the snow slowly started to cover me

I'm bleeding out onto white cloud

Tainting it a deep red

I laugh to myself

Seems like I'm taking after you

Tainting everything I touch



I'm contaminated

But you never seemed to care

Not even as I lie here

I blink noticing how weird it was to see the sky

'Ha I guess it too can't wait for me to go'

You got very violent over the years

Starting to use knives and blades

To cut me, hurt me, mark me, and make me bleed

It's like you only loved to see me in pain

You didn't actually love me

The person you met in the hospital

Though I guess this time

I didn't have to make the wound

You made it for me

Deep enough to let me bleed out

But shallow enough that if it touched anything

I'd still feel it

'Heh' with conditions like this

And the temperature so low

All I'd have to do is

Let mother earth take her course

Now by all mean that is extending my life

I feel kinda dizzy

The world is spinning all around me

It hurts to see so much



That I have to keep my eyes closed

I hear whispering

It's….comforting

The voices are so nice and sweet

I feel like I'm being lifted

My body feels lighter and being wrapped in warmth

I open my eyes to see whose helping me

You were carrying me

You whispered softly into my ear

'Your safe now' and

'Don't worry I'm here'

But most important to me

'I love you so please don't go'

I smiled

You said it!

You finally said it

Those three words

That I've waited to hear

Before I go

Tears formed in my eyes

And fell down my cheeks

I raised my blood covered hand

And gently brushed the hair out of your face

I will always remember

That look of hope



Hope that I'd survive

I could feel all my senses

Slip away from my grasp

I smiled slightly

As a small trail of blood trickled

From my mouth

My body was getting cold

And you could feel it too

'No, no, no stay with me' you said

You were panicked I could tell

'Don't worry…..I'm okay' I tried to calm you down

I could feel something wet drip on my lips

I looked up at you

You were….crying?

'Don't worry, I'll be okay, you'll be okay'

It was getting harder to breathe now

'I'm sorry but I have to go now'

You look at me in horror and fear

'You…look…like you've…..just seen…..a ghost'

I laughed as you looked at me in bewilderment

'You're face…..it was funny'

You smiled if only for a few moments

My chest was getting so light 'put me down'

You stopped moving and fell to your knees

Gently laying me in the snow



'Thank you'

I sighed now struggling to breathe

Snow was lightly covering my already cold body

And with my last breath

I managed to say

'I love you always'