Bad Timing
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~A series of ficlets studying Ron Weasley, all of which he has bad timing in one way or another, inspired by a missing scene from the last film. Is solely Ron centric but Hermione appears a few times just because you can't have one of those two without the other! This is me just trying to fill the void in my heart left by the end of Harry Potter.~
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Ron Weasley, though blessed with great comedic timing, had never been particularly punctual.
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"Arthur, I swear I am going to light a fire and smoke this thing out."
"Molly, dear," Arthur begins amusedly, "what good would that do. And our baby boy, not thing, will make his own way out… eventually."
His wife glared at him before lowering her face to her rounded stomach and whispered rather sinisterly, "You are seventeen days late. You're going to have to be a damned good son to make me forget this agony."
Arthur chuckles bemusedly, "Poor Ron, you're behind before you've even started."
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"Hermione," he pants.
"Yes?"
When Voldemort's ruddy snake is chasing you, courage shouldn't be this hard to come by, but it bloody well was. "There's… there's something I need to tell you…"
"I don't want you to say anything you wouldn't say if we weren't about to be killed by a giant snake. It'll just ruin it."
Being killed by a giant snake would ruin pretty much any moment in Ron's opinion but if Hermione thought it wasn't the moment, she was right – that girl was always correct and never missed a deadline.
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"You – you didn't see the game?"
Harry and Hermione launch into the explanation of their adventure into the Forest and their promise to Hagrid that they would care for 'Grawp'. Though the thought of babysitting and tutoring a sixteen foot giant terrified him greatly, Ron couldn't believe that the one time he did something deserving of being centre of attention, was the one time he couldn't be the centre of attention.
"Ron?"
"Er, he calls you Hermy?"
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The image of Harry's face, defiant and angry, morphs into a laughing and carefree Harry, his green eyes sparkling with youth and innocence.
Hermione's desperate tears and sobbing are replaced by hysterical laughter and a wide smile.
He realises, too late, that the only place he could ever be is the one he can never return to.
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Ron had just remembered the location of his favourite comic book. He leaps down the stairs in excitement as he hopes to once again be entranced by the adventures of The Mad Muggle.
He enters the kitchen to find his mother clutching the half bald cat and a pair of scissors. She looks up at him menacingly.
"You," she breathes.
Ron hears the creaking of the staircase and turns around to see Ginny grinning slyly and tip-toing quickly back up the stairs, her jumper coated in cat hair. He looks at her, scandalised, and a wicked grin cracks across her face.
"RONALD WEASLEY!" His attention snaps back to his mother and he endures ten minutes of yelling and scolding.
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Bill was first, so of course he was going to be perfect no matter what. Head boy, popular, good with girls, cool.
Charlie and Percy were next. He always lumped them together for some reason, despite them being so different. Both had ambition - lots of it - and gained success both in school and jobs.
The real double act of the family came next – Fred and George. They were so loud you couldn't help but notice them and anyone who came after them faded into the background in comparison. Troublemakers, but clever – in fact, probably the most blessed of the family – smart, funny, popular, good at Quidditch, soon to be raking in the Galleons…
Then him. He did fade into the background. Plain old Ron, there were always others more important to deal with before him. First thing his father says to him when he gets home for the holidays? "How's Harry?" His mother, "What did the twins do to Zacharias Smith?"
And Ginny: the innocent youngest, brave and brilliant. Her being the first girl in two generations topped it off perfectly and she's too bloody popular for her own good.
He couldn't help but feel he'd arrived in the family too early, or perhaps too late. Maybe before the twins, or after Ginny, maybe that would be all right...
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"D'you really think Hermione snogged Krum?"
Harry avoided his eyes and started babbling, trying to stay away from the truth as he attempted to protect both his friendship with both Ron and Hermione.
Ron however, was not privy to Harry's inner battle or incoherent babblings. Only one thing was one his mind – Krum had gotten her first and he likely never would.
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"Late, Weasely."
"Am… Am I?" he pants, feigning bewilderment. "I swear my watch says it's – "
Snape cuts him off. "Late and lying? Well, well. An extra detention it is. And your lines for today… 'rudeness and tardiness are neither acceptable nor admirable and I would do well to correct these flaws.'"
Ron scowls as he collects his quill and parchment.
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All he can take note of is a loud clatter and then her lips are on his, her arms gripping his neck fiercely. He kisses her back hungrily, greedily, and she responds.
He forgets they're both covered in grime and blood. Ignores the fact that they're in the midst of battle, that people are probably dying right now. Dimly pushes aside the fact that Harry's probably watching them. All that just melts away – it's him and Hermione, the way he has always wanted and wished it to be.
"Is this the moment?" He hears Harry asking weakly.
"Well, probably not," he thinks but as she hugs herself closer to him, all logic and sense of time and place fails him.
"Sod it," and he looses himself in her once more.
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They're both sitting at the bar with half finished drinks in front of them.
"Then what?" Harry prompts.
"Well then she goes on about how lazy I am – the usual you know – not living up to my potential blah blah, time to accept the Auror offer or get an actual job. And if I'm not going to do anything with my life I should at least tidy up after myself and have her dinner waiting for her when she gets home."
Harry laughs, "So, just another normal night then?"
"You haven't heard the best part," Ron warns him. "So then I go 'like you care what I do with my life.' And she's all – 'I DO CARE RON! AND YOU SHOULD CARE, YOU SODDING LUNATIC."
Harry scoffs, "Trust Hermione to control her language in the middle of a rage. Then what?"
Ron smirks, "Well, I said, 'oh you do care, do you?' and that makes her even angrier."
He puts on a shrill voice, "OF COURSE I CARE! I CARE MORE THAN YOU DO!' and then I shout back 'OH, YOU DO?' She says 'YEAH, I DO!' – and you know her, she's screaming by this point, and then I say the only thing I can think of – 'BLOODY MARRY ME THEN!' "
Silence.
"You asked her to marry you?"
"Yes."
"In the middle of a fight?"
"Yes"
Silence.
"You've got rotten timing, mate."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes."
Ron grins and downs the rest of his drink. "Well, maybe." He admits, signalling to the barmen for a refill. "But I did decide it's time to join the Aurors - I get there in the end eh?"
Harry scoffs before shaking his hand. "True, you're just never on time and just don't make it there in the, ah – conventional – way."
"Harry, my friend, someone's got to keep life interesting now you're all over that 'You Know Who's trying to kill me and I need to kill him before he gets me' saga."
"Oi!" Harry warns, roughly clapping Ron on the back. "So, you need a place to stay tonight? We can work on acceptable ways to propose that might, you know, actually get the desired result."
"Nah," says Ron, "my timing can't be that shit – she said yes."
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Hope you enjoyed. I think Ron is one of the most interesting characters in the series and is so real.
Pretty sure I've read fics where Ron and Hermione get engaged via a fight but hopefully this is a little different. I would appreciate your comments!