Disclaimer-I don't own Passions, Dragonball Z, or Pokemon

Beth, Luis, Sheridan, and Antonio

Sailor J-chan: Hello, and welcome to the first episode of 'How I Would Solve Their Problems'! Our first guests are Beth Wallace, Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald, Sheridan Crane, and Antonio Lopez-Fitzgerald!

*Beth, Luis, Sheridan, and Antonio walk/roll out*

Sheridan: Hey, how did Antonio get out of his coma?

Sailor J-chan: Uhh…that's not important! Please, sit.

*Beth, Luis, Sheridan, and Antonio sit*

Sailor J-chan: Now, Beth and Luis are engaged, and Sheridan and Antonio are married. But Sheridan wants Luis, and Luis wants Sheridan, but they're afraid to tell Antonio because of his sickness and the truth may kill him. And Beth wants Luis.

Beth: That rich slut Sheridan stole Luis from me!

Sheridan: I did not! Luis loves me!

Beth: *Attacks Sheridan*

*Security guarda pop out and make Beth sit in her chair. Sheridan has a black eye*

Sailor J-chan: One at a time. Now, Beth, tell us your side of the story.

Beth: I was going to marry Luis. He proposed to me and everything! But all the while, Sheridan was trying to take him from me! I saw Sheridan seduce Luis into sleeping with her, and then convince him to elope with her. So I drugged Luis's drink and made sure he didn't go out to marry her!

Sheridan: You little…that's why Luis didn't come!

Sailor J-chan: Sheridan! Let Beth speak!

Beth: And then I stopped Luis from preventing Sheridan and Antonio's wedding, and my stupid mother had a heart attack trying to stop me. She's always trying to stop me from finding happiness! Why, Mommy, why? Why won't you hug me? *Bursts into tears*

Mrs. Wallace: *Stand up in audience* You faker!

Sailor J-chan: Shut up, Mrs. Wallace! You don't want your baby girl to be happy! I hate Gwen and Rebecca, but at least Rebecca tried to help Gwen find happiness! Mirai Marron!

*Mirai Marron, a character J-chan made up under DBZ, appears*

Sailor J-chan: Kill Mrs. Wallace!

Mirai Marron: Sorry, J-chan, but my lawyer said I can't do that anymore.

Sailor J-chan: Oh, what good are you? *Makes her disappear* Now, continue, Beth.

Beth: *Wipes her eyes* And then, when Luis and I took my mother to the hospital, Sheridan and Antonio got married. And then Luis took me to a hotel where Antonio and Sheridan where staying. Then he made google eyes with Sheridan while I waited for him. And then Sheridan forgot to give Antonio his medicine and Antonio wound up in a coma, and now Sheridan is deciding whether or not to give Antonio the drug, and that's where we left off.

Sailor J-chan: Thank you. Now, Luis's turn.

Luis: Well…I proposed to Beth, but I fell in love with Sheridan. I agreed to elope with her, but I missed the marriage. Then Beth started acting weird and then Mrs. Wallace had the heart attack…and it pretty much went the same way as Beth said it. But Sheridan and I were NOT being google-eyed. We were talking, and agreed to tell Beth and Antonio about our relationship. But then, Antonio went into a coma, and that's it.

Sailor J-chan: Thank you. Now, Sheridan.

Sheridan: I was engaged to Antonio but truly loved Luis. I talked Luis into eloping with me…

Beth: Seduced, you mean!

Sheridan: … and then I waited for him. But he never showed. Gwen came and got me and took me to the church to get ready, and then Beth said that she and Luis had sex last night. Then Mrs. Wallace had the heart attack and I married Antonio while Beth and Luis were away at the hospital, and then I saw Luis at the hotel and forgot to give Antonio his medicine...you know the rest.

Sailor J-chan: And now, Antonio.

Antonio: Frankly, I can't see anything and I haven't the foggiest clue what you're talking about, and all I want is my Liz…I mean, Sheridan!

Drummer in background: Dun Dun Duuuuuun!

Antonio: My Sheridan. Sheridan…

Sailor J-chan: Admit it! You thought that Sheridan wanted to marry you and you wouldn't break her heart by telling her you secretly wanted Liz all along! And, when you found out couldn't have Liz, you told Sheridan you wanted to die by not taking the experimental drug! The truth comes out! Admit it!

Antonio: *Looks uncomfortable* Well…

Sheridan: Antonio…?

Antonio: It's true! It's all true! I love Liz! Liz, come to me, my Liz! My one true love, the real woman of my dreams! *Rises from his wheelchair, then collapses*

Sailor J-chan: *Puts him in the wheelchair* Be careful! Remember, you're supposed to be in a coma!

Pilar: *Rises from the audience* How did you get Antonio out of the coma, anyway?

Sailor J-chan: Me to know, you to find out! *Sticks out her tongue* Well, now that Antonio doesn't want Sheridan, the only obstacle is Beth. Let's go into the audience. Any comments?

Mrs. Wallace: *Stands up* My evil daughter does not deserve…

Sailor J-chan: Shut up! *Opens a Pokeball* Go, Vulpix! Flame Thrower!

Vulpix: *Burns Mrs. Wallace to a crisp*

Eve: *Stands up* I say on behalf of myself, T.C., Whitney, and Simone…thank you for loving Liz, Antonio! Keep her away from my T.C.!

Random Audience Member: Hey, what does T. C. stand for?

Sailor J-chan: Antonio, wait here. *Wheels Antonio behind a curtain* Now, Beth, what is your choice?

Beth: I want my Luis!

Sailor J-chan: Ah, but what would you say if I found you someone better than Luis? Come on out, Mystery Guy!

*Smoke appears, and a shadow steps into the smoke*

Sailor J-chan: Please welcome…FOX CRANE!!

*Fox appears from the smoke and takes a seat next to Beth*

Theresa: *In audience* Fox?!

Fox: I pretended to love Theresa so I could make Ethan jealous! Ever since I returned to Harmony, I've been hiding my true feelings for Beth! Please, Beth Wallace! Please return my love! *Collapses at her feet*

Beth: *Looks at J-chan*

Sailor J-chan: Either way, Sheridan and Luis will be together. You might as well go with Fox.

Beth: *Sighs. Stands up* All right, Fox, let's go. *Takes Fox's hand and leads him away*

Sheridan and Luis: Thank you, J-chan! *Walk away*

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