A/N - Here's a little something for ya' while I'm working with my writer's block for Broken Goods! Don't worry, you'll see more of Skye when the block is over! I, Skye A. Lee, present to you a oneshot/preview of:
Twelvehundred Years
Edward Cullen POV
She sat in the top of a tree, close to its trunk, with one of her legs dangling, the other on a thin branch, bent at the knee. Her small arms circled her bent leg and her head rested on her thigh as she watched the stars with her black hair flowing like a cascade down her back and side.
I stood motionless below the tree and looked up at her.
"Are you going to stand there all night, or am I supposed to come down to you?"
Her words were barely audible and she didn't turn her head around. Quietly I leaped up in the tree and appeared on a thicker branch beside her. She didn't say anything – just continued to stare at the cold, seemingly twinkling lights up above.
"Anna …"
My voice trailed off, not knowing what to say. She sighed.
"So – I'm only a child, huh, Edward?"
Her voice was bitter. She turned her head around, fixing me with her black gaze – darker than the night sky behind her. Her eyes were cold.
I didn't know how to respond. She sighed again, closed her eyes and relaxed her head against her knee. "You'll never be able to see me as anything else than the fourteen-year-old that I look like, will you? No, of course not."
Her lips were arched in anger as she spoke, a bitter crease appearing between her eyes. When the last word passed her pale lips, she turned her head around again and I could just see her silken, black hair once more.
"I am … I didn't mean to hurt you"
I had no idea how to deal with this.
"That's my problem, you know."
I couldn't tell if she was responding to my rather clumsy attempt at an excuse or speaking words from her own train of thought.
"It doesn't matter where I go – no one ever sees me as someone else than the young teenager I was when I was turned. I always get treated as a child, no matter my actual age in comparison to the other person. Before, I … I found it a vaguely amusing."
A small chuckle escaped from her lips. She was still turned away from me.
"That someone centuries younger than me thought of me as a child, incapable to make my own decisions. That I still was a child in their eyes. And I must say – I used my immortal child appeal to my advantage more than once for protection from strangers. My apparent youth gained me advantages that I more than happily used."
She turned her head halfway toward me, supporting her forehead on her knee. Her eyes were still closed and she wore a pained expression, the crease between her eyes still present.
"But … recently, I … I've found myself wishing that I appeared just a few years older … just a couple, just a single one had been enough."
Her expression was so, had she been able to, I wouldn't have been surprised to find tears rolling down her cheeks. I sat quietly, watching her pain without knowing what else to do than listen to it.
"In the beginning, I didn't know what I was feeling. I'd never felt anything like it ever before, and it both scared and intrigued me. Even though I'd promised myself only to stay for a short time, just to try what your lifestyle was like, I found myself making up excuses just to stay one more week, just a little bit longer..."
The corner of her mouth was angled in disdain and disgust of what I guessed was herself.
"I watched your every step intently, found myself staring at your face longer than appropriate after you spoke. I fought a losing battle with myself, and eventually I gave in to the new part of me. I knew that I was a child to all of you, despite my real age, but after that, I feverishly hoped that somehow you'd accept me in the way I wanted anyway. But that thin hope was ripped in smaller and smaller pieces for every day that passed. I could see it in your eyes, that you only saw me as a little child, a little sister. That sisterly love – I clung to it as if my life depended on it, helplessly hoping that it would someday be something more, though I knew that it never would."
Her forehead slid further down on her leg and her sorrow and pain was written in capital letters in her expression.
"I wished myself more years, prayed to gods that I've never believed in that I'd change overnight into an older version of me, just so that I could be with you. It was hopeless, it was dark and still my life was impossibly light because I at least could spend time around you. I knew it'd never be enough, never, but I wanted it to be since there would never be anything else. In the beginning I smiled and laughed more than I've ever done, intoxicated by my new feelings and your mere presence. Then I fell deeper and deeper down into the hopelessness as it dawned on me that it'd never be more."
I remembered. The light in her eyes had left her, day by day, and it had pained me not knowing why.
"It was over before it had ever begun, but still I could not muster the strength to leave. I hadn't heard your certain refusal yet and irrational hope still gnawed in my body. So I knew I had to ask for real, to have your words burned in my memory before I could leave and try to live as I used to."
A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. "So I starved myself to make my eyes convincingly black, collected all my courage and made you go on a hunt with me, us alone."
Her head slid to the side, still resting on her knee but with her heartbroken, black eyes visible to me. Every trace of her smile was gone, her face pained and sorrowful once again.
"And yet" she whispered, almost soundlessly, "and yet I still cannot make myself leave, despite that I have your refusal clear in my mind."
I had been expecting it for awhile now, but not until she was done talking she broke down in dry sobs. She pulled her dangling leg up against her body and she circled both of her legs with her arms, buried her head against them as she cried, the vampire way. The position was so usual, the one you saw everyone in when they were hurting and crying, vampire or human.
It tugged at my heart to see Anna so distressed.
"It's not that I don't love you, you know"
I winced, but the words were out my moth before I could stop them. Anna still shook in sobs, but I could tell that I had her attention. To hell with it, I thought.
"It's just that … it feels wrong to … to feel what I feel, to want to do what I want to. Please understand" I begged. "I … I"
It was impossible to find words.
"You feel like a pervert". Her words were muted but spoken with a clear voice. "It's just three years, you know. The same difference as it is between Carlisle and Esme."
I didn't need to say anything. She sighed and her head slipped in the opposite direction again.
"It's just that it's a lot more difference between fourteen and seventeen than twenty-three and twenty-six." Her voice was low and half-choked as she spoke our thoughts out loud. "Sorry. I'm just clinging to everything I can find right now."
She chuckled humourlessly and then started sobbing again.
I couldn't take it.
In a flash, I was at her side, touching her hair in a way much different than in the brotherly manner I'd done before. She looked up at me with vulnerable eyes and I just couldn't think. My lips landed on hers before I could even form a conscious thought. She froze in shock and my lips worked alone on hers before she understood and followed my lead. I cupped her cheek in one hand and held myself to the trunk with the other, wishing that I didn't have to. I wanted to caress her extraordinarily long hair, from her forehead to her waist, I wanted to feel her other cheek in my hand, I wanted to braid my fingers in her hair, I wanted to …
We kissed for what felt like forever – time stood still as our lips moved together. I'd longed to do this for weeks and though I expected them, the feelings of perversion never came. Instead, the kiss was immensely satisfying and I found myself wanting more.
The moment was interrupted when the branch could no longer carry our weights and broke with a loud crack. Without having to think, my arms created a protective cage around the girl in my arms as we fell, and I took the force of the impact. Our lips broke apart, and although neither of us needed the oxygen, both of us panted as we separated, my arms still around her.
"What … was that?" she whispered, never breaking our eye contact.
I kissed her on her forehead and shook my head.
"I don't know"
Anna POV
"I don't know"
Edward rested his head on my forehead, preventing me from seeing his expression. I tried to look up but was met with his throat. My skin tingled where he had kissed me, everywhere he touched me and my lips burned with the memory of his. I couldn't understand what was happening, but I felt oddly at peace. Not for long, though, as a desire to feel it again soon rose in me. I wanted to feel his lips on mine one more time, wanted him to touch my bare skin again.
"Edward?"
He sighed but didn't move.
"I … that wasn't what I expected" he finally said, lifting his head and gazing down at me with wonder in his eyes.
"I don't even know anymore" I said, looking back at his butterscotch eyes. "That was wonderful, Edward"
"Me too. I thought that … that I'd feel … dirty, but … but it was just amazing" His eyes sparkled in a mix of joy and wonder and a little glimmer of hope.
I was quiet, as I didn't know how to respond. My dead heart swelled with joy that he'd actually enjoyed kissing me, but the burning ember of anxiety in my stomach didn't go away.
His arms were still around me, and I rested comfortably in them, feeling protected against all the dangers the world could throw at me.
Without any warning, Edward lowered his lips to mine again and kissed me for the second time ever. Eagerly, I met his movements with my own and dived into the kiss with all of my soul, memorizing every instant of it. His lips moved slowly against mine and we stared into each others eyes. His left hand cupped my cheek, like it had before, and his right caressed my hair, from top to bottom, before it tangled itself in the dark curls on my head.
I lay softly against the mattress of old fir needles and Edward lay beside me, stretched over my torso and supporting and pushing up my head against his with his hand in my hair. I couldn't feel any of his weight on me, though I longed to feel all of his long body stretched along mine, to feel his weight on my body.
The moment seemed to last forever, just as the first, but this time there was no falling branch to interrupt us. Would we ever stop? I wondered, never wanting him to let me go. Edward slowed our lips even more and broke the kiss. He sat up in extreme vampire speed, pulling me onto his lap and rested my head beneath his right collarbone, holding his arms strongly around me, giving me no time to mourn the loss of his lips. He buried his nose in my hair, inhaling deeply and holding me even tighter to him.
"Please don't leave, Anna" he whispered in my hair, his voice muffled.
His cold breath washed over my head and down to my face, and I lingered in the sensation.
"Please don't. I don't think I can survive without you anymore"
His words made my silent heart leap and I felt a genuine smile – my first in weeks – tug at the corners of my mouth.
"I can't live without you either" I admitted into his chest, my words muted in the soft fabric of his shirt. But I knew he heard me, because his chest expanded under me as he took a deep breath.
"Anna" he murmured into my hair and squeezed me in his arms.
I relaxed, melted further into his marble body that felt soft and warm to me and so, so secure.
We sat like that for a while, saying nothing and just listening to our breathing. The night was silent around us, all animals having deserted the area when they'd felt our presence, but the peace and quiet comforted me. Every once in a while, Edward would take a very deep breath, tasting my scent, and then sigh, washing his sweet breath over my face. It felt like being dipped in ice cold, sweet, molten silver and I lingered in the feeling. The horrendous anxiety in my stomach eventually disappeared as Edwards arms assured me of his love and was replaced by joy and hope.
Hours ticked by, and eventually I moved, breaking free of Edwards arms, standing up and looking down. I could feel his wondering stare on me. I intertwined my fingers and twisted them.
"So..." I began. "So … what now?"
"What do you mean?" Edward asked, puzzled.
"Was that just to make me feel better?" I wondered.
"Absolutely not!" Edward protested. "Anna …"
"What was it then? What will it be later?" I did not want to meet his eyes. "Will everything be … normal when we … we return? Will we put up a show, pretend that all this didn't happen?"
"Why would we lie?" Edward sounded genuinely confused.
"I'm fourteen! You can't pretend that you didn't have any troubles with it just an hour ago, Edward, and your family will most certainly object against … this, against us!"
I swept my arm in a furious gesture, raising my eyes from the ground to meet his.
They were burning with an emotion I couldn't identify. He took two steps forward and embraced me, pressing my face against his shoulder. I immediately relaxed, feeling his body and smelling his comforting scent.
"I don't care about what they think" Edward whispered heatedly in my ear. "I belong to you now, and you belong to me. I won't deny that in front of anyone!"
His possessive words made me shiver against his shoulder, and his lips ghosted on the sensitive skin directly behind my ear. "Not to anyone" he repeated in a murmur against my skin, and the feeling of his soft lips moving in speech against my thin skin made me shudder.
He embraced me for a few more moments, letting his lips vibrate in high speed against my skin before he let go.
He stretched out a hand for me to take.
"Now, come on" he said, smiling. "Let's hunt. That's why we came, wasn't it?"
We ran, hand in hand, through the forest and although he slowed me down I didn't complain. The feeling of my beloved on my side made up for it, totally.
We slowed when we caught the scent of a mountain lion, and Edward mouthed for me to go. I gave him a look, grinned and darted through the forest until I was very close to the animal. I slowly sneaked up behind it, pounced and cut its carotid with my teeth, its warm blood flowing into my mouth. It was not as satisfying as drinking human blood like I had done for many years, but if it meant that I could stay with Edward, I would do anything. He stood a few metres away and I let go of the body in my arms, met his eyes and grinned.
Absolutely anything.
I dried one more deer before we started to go home, not fast nor slow, just in a speed that would take us there before the sun rose and still gave us time to feel. We didn't speak, just felt the wind around us and I savoured the sensation of knowing that Edward loved me and ran by my side. I didn't feel any need to speed up, although I would have just hours ago. Everything was just perfect.
When we were just a few miles from the house, Edward slowed down and stopped. I did too, wondering what had made him do that.
"Anna … if you don't feel comfortable telling them …" Edward trailed off.
I just looked at him, waiting patiently for him to continue.
"I mean, if you don't want to say anything just yet, we could wait"
It was something to consider. Edward's family was very protective and I didn't know what they might do.
"If it's alright with you, then it's cool with me" I answered truthfully after a moment of thought, trying to ignore the butterflies of anxiety flapping around in my stomach. "But I have no idea how to tell them, so that part is up to you"
Edward smiled. "Don't you worry. I think I have something."
I grinned back. "Let's race!"
I darted away through the forest, faster than Edward could ever hope to be.
"Hey!" he yelled behind me and I laughed, feeling light with the rippling sound spreading among the trees.
I slowed down when I reached the treeline, just as the first sunrays reached above the horizon, and I missed Edwards pounce. He knocked me to the ground and growled playfully in my ear. I laughed and squirmed under him.
"Not fair! I'm a fourteen-year-old girl – have mercy!"
He laughed too and stood up, stretching out a hand to help me up. I grinned at him and ignored his gesture, jumping up all by myself and ran to the house. Edward shook his head and came after me.
Suddenly anxious again, I met his reassuring eyes for a second before he reached out to the door and opened it.
A/N - All right, I know that this is fairly bad writing (I did this some time ago) but I hope you enjoyed it anyway! This scene just came to me and demanded to be written the first time I listened to 'Mirror' by Ellie Goulding. Despite the lyrics having absolutely no connection to the plot whatsoever ;). Anyway, you should listen to it - it's a good song.
I have somewhat of a plot planned for this, it's just that I am terrible with beginnings :(. Hopefully, when I'm past that dreadful part of writing, I can begin posting Twelvehundred Years here. Would you like that? Answer in a review, please!
/Skye A. Lee
