Note:
Some lyrics used from The Rasmus "In the Shadows"
Also I do not own Naruto. Plus I'm too poor to buy it out of the creator.
Summary: Reincarnation is more common than most people thought. OC-insects.
When Failure Isn't an Option:
The Mad Child
Iwagakure:
If my time was limited,
I would tell that special someone I love them
Would say what I'd always wanted to say
Finally knowing that I'm true
If my time was limited,
I'd tell my friends they're the best
Tell the world who I am
If my time was limited… (Limited)
I see my world crashing, down, down
There was darkness, I felt like my eyes were closed but I knew they were open. It was so dark that I couldn't see my hand that was right in front of me. I wasn't going to lie to myself, I was bored. I don't remember why I was consumed into darkness. But I do know is that I was taken away from someplace. My world I think, am I dreaming? I sighed as the darkness tightens its hold on me again.
In a split second there was darkness, and then I felt a powerful push. The force pushed me violently out of the darkness. I cried out my first painful breathes into this strange giant place. What confused me was why I was light enough to be cradled around like a baby. I saw no actual people or objects; it was all fuzzy and unclear. I didn't understand a thing these giants said so I cried and cried. There was no mother waiting for me.
My eyes grew stronger as the days passed. I was filled with images of people with awesome powers I knew it would be impossible. I didn't say anything though; I felt their eyes on me. I stayed quiet and watched as they dwindled. In the upcoming years I would learn that they were my family and they were ninjas dying in missions. I held no memory of my mother. But I had a father figure that surrounded me a lot. I took nothing for granted, because I felt like he would turn into those people that disappeared forever. I was comforted by his dark brown eyes, his strong low voice.
As I grew older to the point where I could walk, (wobble more like it) I noticed a strange metal forehead protector on my father. He noticed and told me what it was called. I was grateful as the years rolled on that I could communicate with them better. When I was maybe two months old my father took me on a stroll around the village. I was surrounded by rock. The mountains were huge and the people looked tough.
My father merely laughed at my amazement, "Kyoko-chan" he started, "This is our village, your home Iwagakure." His hands tighten around me as I look at the view.
Iwagakure…my home, I thought back. Oh shit!
I didn't know what to say, because my mind wasn't that fuzzy I knew that I heard that place before. It was familiar; it was a fictional place from Naruto. And it looked like I was taken away and placed to Iwa. What the hell was I going to do now?
…
I gave nothing to this world. I held no talent that people would iodize me for. I am no god. I am nothing but an existence that lived. I had no value; I had nothing really to contribute to this society. I hold no charm, no smarts, nor beauty. So I beg you, tell me why am I here? Tell me your sick joke on why I am here? Tell me god, no, presence, divine power, why I exist here? What can I do for your amusement? What is my purpose to this world? Why am I mocked with fictional characters talking to me? Why am I a mere child again? Please all powerful presence, why did you allow me this troublesome situation? Why am I in this reincarnation business? Please tell me…
-the mad child
This world was dangerous; it wasn't the show I watched. I wasn't stupid. My father was a Shinobi of Iwa, and so was the rest of my family. I don't tell anyone my dreams, the passed episodes and the chapters I had read. They would believe I would be crazy. Days ago I came home from school; I had just finished my graduation test, when I heard my father talking to my last living sister Amaya about the Third Shinobi War. He would be leaving later today.
My heart grew cold, I was living in a time where there was war, and since I was born into Iwa, Konoha would not trust me. But then should I even try and help Konoha at all? They didn't see eye to eye with my village, but I—
I didn't finish my thought; instead I loudly announced my arrival and pretended that I never heard their conversation. They were proud of my promotion and for that I let myself smile; I became one for their sakes.
Journals are meant to be kept in secret. They told me information is gold, though my words are meaningless, I pretend that my words do hold some importance. I keep this hidden, my father knows nothing. I do wish I was important, but if I did accomplish something, it would be that I became a number. I was a number in the army for their disposal. I guess that will have to do. I am a ninja, isn't that cool. (Note the sarcasm.) I never thought ninjas were pure. They were tainted as fuck (pardon my French), the whole persona that they were heroes was laughable. Killing other beings was not what I consider to be fun and easy. But it was a daily battle we ninja faced. (Well not me yet.) I still haven't received a mission that required for me to kill on order. And to be honest I was very happy, aren't I a weird ninja. I guess I was weak on that department. But I was okay with that, it meant I was still human.
I won't quit though I don't want to die useless. I hate war, but I will jump in to keep my people safe. I'm sorry to disappoint but I don't mean the village, I'm referring to my friends, team and family. They motivate me to survive and live. I'm okay with that, I'm selfish, and I'm human. I personally like being human right now. Because that means I can love and treasure, but I don't want to hate. But I do everyday in fact. I won't ramble about that though (maybe later).
What do I hope to gain after this war? I don't know, but I do hope I'll know. I like to blame myself for many things. But I guess that means that's me right? Plus I have a habit of rambling. Rambling is fun. Maybe I should write a book. Ha! I would love that very much. But for now I have a lot of things to do before that is possible.
I hope I can protect my family though. I hope I can survive in this war-like life.
…
In the shadows I feel safe. I've been waiting for tomorrow. They say that I must kill before I can I feel safe. But I, I'd rather kill myself then to turn like their slave. In the shadows I'd been trying to find a cure for this cancer. I'm dying. I'd been waiting, someone help me
-the mad child
…
My father was a loving parent; he was strict when it called for it. He was caring and supported you when you needed it. All he asked for in return was for me to be proud of my village and to be a ninja. I did that because I owned him that. One thing I remembered clearly was he hated Konoha. You couldn't talk about Konoha at his face. He preached about how Iwa was better and it would crush Konoha during war. I loved my father but, I couldn't say I agreed with him.
When I was given a mission with my team I was scared. We all went through it and when we were close to finishing our mission I saw red. In that silent field I saw many people I knew and saw briefly in the village. My stomach felt funny but I kept walking. My team was here to treat some of the survivors. When I was in mid-thought there was an explosion.
I was carried off down a hill, when I finally stopped rolling I heard their voices. My heart sank and I got up quickly. I ran toward the direction of their screams. There I was proved wrong, Konoha was evil, just like my father said. One lone Konoha-nin took out his sword out of my sister's chest. She was dead; my father in the other hand was still alive, barley.
Out of my stupidity I gasped, in that mid second the Konoha-nin pinpointed my direction and flashed behind me. Two strong hands grip my neck and restricted my hands. My father watched in pain as the Konoha-nin was choking me. My sight was getting hazy but I could still see my father yelling. It loosened and then I felt a punch in the stomach. It became very dark in that instant. When I woke up he was gone just like my father and sister. I knew my father was gone because that same sword that murdered my sister was in his chest.
I won't lie, I hate myself right now. I said I would be a good Shinobi. I said I would find a way to protect them, I said a lot of things, did that mean I was liar? I hope not, but I think I am. I'm sorry. But I wonder is that all I can say? 'I'm sorry', Shit, I'm sorry, that won't change anything, they're dead, never coming back and I have the nerve to say 'I'm sorry'. I'm trash, horrible, weak, but most of useless. I do not deserve to be alive. I should be dead, but here I am alive and hating myself. I don't like life and life doesn't like me back. I should shut the hell up. I really should…
Someone help the mad child before things get worse.
…
War is an ugly beast. It's a raging fire. I'm being sent away again. Konoha-nin here I come. I'm dying, I want to see red. I'm not me because I want to see red. I'm almost gone.
-the mad child
…
I can see them shiver as the killings are being performed. I blink away my innocence. How long has it been since I cried, days, weeks, months? It doesn't matter, I test my balance, and then I strike. They aren't shivering anymore. I see red but not Konoha red; I feel pity in my stomach. I move forward and signal the rest to follow. I want to see red just like my father.
"I'm I a lost cause?" I whisper in the wind. I want to stop myself from being a tool. But I rather like being useful, I like- love the power I had to see growth as a ninja. I wanted my father to be proud of me. My hands aren't pure, so why should I continue to try. It was stupid, I settled in my pace as the green engulfed my vision. My body was itching for red, war was hideous. However, it gave me the perfect excuse to smile for my father; he would have loved to see Konoha red. So what would his loving child do? It would see Konoha red for the father's sake. Aren't I a good child? Admit it I am, my smile appears in my face, I believe it looked twisted for a ten year old. One of the numbers said quietly, "Konoha territory right up head." I looked up to see that my fellow number was correct, I heaved up a branch to be leveled with them, "Good morning" I said loudly enough for them to hear. "Would you like to see your demise?" I ended with a smile for my father. Are you watching father? I ask as I jump in mid-air. … I can laugh, I can cry (if I try really hard). Can I consider myself to be human right now? Heal me, take me higher dear divine power. But you won't do that. I'm smiling though a part of me that is dominated loves to see red. It cannot be saved. I'm sad to say that war was not suited for me. Instead it corrupted me. I don't think heaven would allow me to enter, for I enjoyed a few of my tasks. Come divine power will you forgive me? Yes- no, at least answer me, I have a stupid voice that wants to be saved. It's fading. I can tell. Can you keep a secret? I'm almost thankful that it's fading. My hesitation is almost nonexistent. (That's good for my job.) And I feel better when I complete my tasks. How long do you think I can pull off this red streak? -the mad child … There was a lot of red in the field; my fellow numbers were wiping off the red off their weapons. I cast a glance at one Konoha-nin as its being tied down for questioning. What a pity I couldn't see red from that one. I went down towards it and sat next to it. I wiped off the blood off my sword and hummed while doing so, the captured Konoha-nin didn't comment on my cheery behavior, "Oi, ninja-san" I started. It didn't say anything so I tried again, "I said: 'Oi, ninja-san'" still nothing, "Do you want something to drink?" I pulled my canteen and offered it some, it wasn't poisoned. I promise.
I wasn't going to be friendlier anymore, it didn't appreciate my niceness. So I drank my water and went to the opposite side. I had enough of the Konoha-nin. I tucked in my canteen and I was signaled that we were off. I nodded and leaped forward following the numbers. I wonder now how long do I have to wait until war was over. But then did it really matter at this point? I wanted to see this red streak grow longer for my father. So then…I guess I should shut the hell up. We made great time as we made it to our lovely home in a few days. Iwagakure, oh my lovely home how I missed you. Dear Iwagakure have you missed me?
Things didn't change one bit, I ate, trained, and saw red. This was my life, I was granted this power, but I don't really want to play god. I know for sure that I am no God. Everyone else isn't bothered by this, they enjoy it. This is when I want that little voice to leave me. I only liked seeing red for my father that was it. I'm not lying, I think. I don't understand why Konoha doesn't like us, I liked us. They are not nice people, rather weak, and I don't like to see anything weak. It reminded me of myself. Iwagakure isn't a bad place, like many others say. I enjoyed my stay.
I won't lie they are interested on training their numbers. The militarily power is high, and I, a number must respect them for it. They are running a village during war, I am not, and I am a number. I know my place this time. I'm not sad, rather grateful that I'm not wasting my time questioning. I think my small inner voice it leaving. That's good.
…
I never told anyone but red is not my favorite color. To be honest I liked orange, don't ask me why but I do. I have this weird feeling of butterflies when I see orange. It gives me hope; it's bright almost like yellow and the sun. I have dreams that one person will save this world. It doesn't involve me, I just watch this person fight. The person's strength is pure awesome, almost gold-like power and will. People keep telling me to work hard, and I do. I must be in perfect condition if I stay a number. That's one of the many requirements for being a number. I don't know what else to say but even though I like sunshine, I feel like it's not safe. Orange is fine but yellow is staring to scare me. Wish me luck unknown force for I am heading to war tomorrow light.
- The mad child
It's the sun, its raging and killing, mixing with red. I ran to because it was an order. I can still hear the numbers dwindling in my empty hallow organ I call a heart. I can't help but feel weak. I keep running but that dreaded sun won't stop. The screams of death are catching up to me, and then just like that I fell into the ground. I grunted and tried to get up. It was useless I think he found me.
I felt the sun's power he's coming to finish me. Even though I'm shriving I try to tell myself this was okay. The sun will end it quickly. If what I heard was correct about Konoha, he would end it quickly because Konoha was weak like that. Yet Konoha was still strong because of that. They embraced the heart more than any other village. If I looked up at the sun would I see the Will of Fire? My shriving has stopped I look up at the sun in all his glory. My body hurts and I see him hesitate for a second.
I couldn't help but laugh a little, "Will you let me see my father again?" I can see him regain his position.
He knelt down, "Yes." He quietly says as he takes out a kunai knife.
I see my pathetic reflection from his weapon of choice. I got up; I didn't mind that my red streak would finish here. I really didn't. My little voice was rejoiced of this mad world would come to an end; I could finally rest now. My body relaxed and I knew he noticed. My forehead protector was not present, it must have fallen somewhere in the forest.
He was the sun, and even though I hated Konoha for what they did to my father and family, I couldn't help but feel happy to die from him. He looked strong; Konoha knew how to train them. I smiled, but this time I was thankful for him, I turned around for him to strike me in the back. I could finally see the world now and how truly ugly and red it was. But I still will love it because I was human; I had the right to be stupid. I was only ten after all. I smiled for the last time but for myself.
My last dreams told me that even though people told me I was born in Iwagakure, it was false. The sun raise his weapon, "Before I leave may I tell you something first?"
He paused, I took that as I sign to continue, "If you destroy the Kannabi Bridge it will go to your favor." I wanted this stupid war to end already, "The only reason why I'm telling you is because it is a vital pathway for Iwa's line of supplies."
He tensed, "How do you know this?" he was getting suspicious.
I took a breath and continued, "Because that was where I was supposed to go after this attack. I am a genin from Iwagakure. But I never liked war. So if I could stop it then I would. I will die anyways so there's no point in lying." I could feel his tense eyes watching me.
"Will you stop this hate? " I asked him, "Will you stop this stupid senseless war?" I wanted to hear his determination.
His body was still tense, "How old are you little you?" I couldn't look at him.
I was old enough to be a number for this bloodshed, "Ten." Why did I feel pity from his warm voice?
I sighed and looked the sky, "Thank-you." I turned around to see his eyes watching me, "I have no family, and my team is dead."
He was about to reply but I didn't allow him. I wanted to end this now.
I grab his hand that is currently holding his kunai knife and steady it towards my heart, "I never really wanted to be a ninja, but I wanted to protect those that I cared for. I failed at this, but…"I looked up to the sun, I couldn't read him, "if I were to leave this godforsaken world we call home then I want to leave knowing there were others."
I slightly cut my neck to make a point, "Others that view war was a plague, something that should have never been created. So I ask you again, will you stop this cycle of hatred?"
His eyes widen slightly, "No child should be exposed of this hate and blood." he keeps his kunai in place, "it is my dream to protect my village and become Hokage. "His eyes are getting softer, "You don't have to die."
I don't, but I have too, "its better this way." I smiled, "I have nothing else to give." I wanted out like the inner coward I was from the beginning.
His smile mirrored mine, "It was pleasure of meeting you—"
My voice was softer, "Tsuchi, Kyoko." I felt it now.
He nodded, "Namikaze, Minato". He slightly raised it and the last thing I saw was the sun and his sad eyes catching me.
Please safe this ugly place we call home Namikaze Minato. Please, unlike that divine power that has failed me countless of times with its silence…
…000…
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