~ They Love Us, They Love Us Not ~
"...And
that was It's My Life, by none other than, of course, Bon Jovi,"
the radio DJ finished grandly. "Now, moving on to dedications, first up
we have one from...Pietro! To Evan!"
"Oh,
no!" Scott Summers groaned, as he sat in the Xavier Mansion's airy, sunlit
kitchen and listened to the radio. Kitty Pryde and Jubilation Lee, perched
on the counter stools and casually spooning strawberry yogurt into their
mouths, perked up upon hearing the names.
"Gee,
I wonder what it's going to be this time, and how he's going to top that
last one," Jubilation spoke up, a mischievous grin lighting up her face.
Kitty swallowed, before commenting, "Well, he's used an arsenal of songs,
but personally, I'd go with the original one, and say that Like A Virgin
created the most shockwaves."
"You've
got a point there, although as for me, I'd go with--" Jubilation started
to say.
"Will
you two just quiet down?" Scott demanded irritably, sinking lower in his
seat. Jubilation stuck out her tongue at him behind his back, then turned
to Kitty and whispered, just loud enough for Scott to hear, "What's with
him
today?"
"Oh,
it's the one-month anniversary since Lance and Jean first started going
out, so he's taking her out on some ultra-romantic date, and since Scott
still has this big old crush on Jean..." Kitty explained, snickering. Just
when the two girls were about to be murdered by a seriously pissed Scott,
however, the DJ chirped brightly, "And I think we've kept you folks waiting
long enough! From Pietro to Evan, here's Aerosmith's Dude Looks Like
A Lady!"
Fortunately for the girls, the particular announcement
was enough to send all three of them into shock, and Scott, who was ready
to strangle the both of them, tripped and rather unceremoniously fell flat
on his behind.
"Ow,
my butt..." Scott groaned, motioning as if to reach down and rub said sore
spot, before quickly catching himself and turning beet-red, as like a flash
of lightning, the hand disappeared into his pocket. Uncomfortably, Scott
quickly cleared his throat, but it was already too late, as Kitty and Jubilation
had already noticed that their mighty, fearless leader had just said the
word 'butt' and had almost reached down to rub it in pain, and burst into
a fit of giggles.
The
two girls, however, seemed to be on a major lucky streak, though, as someone
else interrupted Scott just as he was about to try and wring their necks
for the second time that day. In a puff of smoke and brimstones, a rather
bedraggled-looking Kurt Wagner teleported right amidst the trio in the
kitchen. Kitty especially looked surprised, as the phrase black and bluer
came
to mind upon seeing Kurt's condition.
"Whoa!
What happened to you?" Jubilation's spoon froze midway to her lips, as
she gawked openly at Kurt in shock. Kurt reached up with one hand and gingerly
felt around at all the red bumps that protruded from his hair.
"Well,
apparently, the members of the Brotherhood value privacy above another
human life," the German mutant grumbled. Kitty nearly fell off her stool.
"You
mean they tried to kill you?!" she squeaked nervously.
"I
wouldn't really call it kill, per say, but let's just--" Kurt started to
explain. Scott let out an impatient huff and prodded irritably, "Enough
about your misfortunes! Just proceed on with your report."
Kurt gave him the evil eye, before resisting
the urge to stick out his tongue at his leader and grudgingly pulling out
a tiny little notebook from his pocket. Clearing his throat, he proceeded
on.
"Ten-forty-five:
Lance picks up Jean in his Jeep for their date. Eleven o' clock: Lance
and Jean arrive at some glitzy hotel--I couldn't catch the name since by
then I was blinded by all the exhaust fumes after clinging to the belly
of the car for fifteen minutes--for a leisurely brunch. Eleven-twenty-five:
I get kicked out by hotel security for not paying for brunch. Eleven-forty-five:
Lance and Jean exit the hotel and head to the new mall over on Palm Avenue.
Twelve-fifteen: Lance and Jean go to the music store, where Lance buys
Jean some Celine Dion album. Twelve-forty-three: Lance and Jean head off
for a little jewelry stand. Twelve-forty-four: Lance finds out I'm following
them, and stuffs me into the nearest trash can." Kurt paused. "After this,
I don't have the exact times, since Todd stole my watch after he and Pietro,
who had also been tagging along but were successful in remaining hidden,
beat the living cra--um, living stuffing out of me for messing around with
their buddy, hence both my black eyes."
"Didn't
you at least attempt at disguising yourself so you wouldn't be recognized
so easily?" Scott exclaimed irritably. Kurt gave an indignant huff.
"I
did
disguise myself!" He then proudly twirled around, like one of those size-zero,
one hundred percent silicone fashion models at the catwalk. "What do you
think this is?"
"Um,
a cloth garbage bag that you put together in Clothing?" Kitty spoke up,
attempting to hide the grin from her face. Kurt shot her the evil eye.
"You...you
dimwit! I'm disguised as the one and only Muscles from Brussels, duh!"
he scoffed. Jubilation perked up.
"Oh,
you mean Jean-Claude Van Damme?" Her eyes then narrowed critically, as
she looked up Kurt's highly impressive physique. "I don't know...you look
more like that scrawny, belly-jiggling Kid Rock than Van Damme."
"Who's
Jean-Claude Van Damme?" Kitty asked questioningly. Jubilation turned around
in her stool.
"He's
that hot fireman guy from Sudden Death, remember?" she reminded
the other girl, and Kitty's face lit up.
"Oh,
yeah!" A guilty smile lit appeared on her face. "You know, I never really
went for the muscular type, but that guy has a really cute face, and..."
"Yeah,
I know! And I just love his accent!" Jubilation added. "Plus, the way he
kicks and everything, I mean, it's just like wow!"
"I
know!" Kitty agreed emphatically. "I mean, I don't usually go for the action
hero type, but I mean, Van Damme is one of the cutest--"
"Ahem!
Can we please get back to the subject at hand?" Scott barked, annoyed,
while Kurt examined his self-proclaimed abs of steel and repeated to himself,
over and over, "I do not look like Kid Rock, I do not look
like Kid Rock, I do not look like Kid Rock...Who's Kid Rock, anyway?
Is he the one who's touching himself all the time...No wait, that's Michael
Jackson! Or was that the guy from Alien Ant Farm? Hey, wait, didn't the
Limp Bizkit guy grab his crotch during that Rollin' video?"
"Kurt!"
Scott yelled irritably. Kurt stopped mumbling about how he didn't look
like Kid Rock--whomever he may be--and turned around to face his leader.
"What?"
he wanted to know.
"Tell
us what happened next," Scott demanded. Kurt looked down at the ground.
"Well,
you see, the funniest thing happened," he squeaked nervously. Scott glared
down at him.
"Don't
tell me you got distracted by the Victoria's Secret display and lost them!"
he exclaimed. Kurt perked up.
"Okay,
then, I won't tell you," he chirped brightly. Scott looked like he didn't
know whether to smack him or strangle him...or give him an atomic wedgie,
or tie him to the flagpole by the tail, or force him to watch bass-fishing
until his head exploded, or...
"Hey,
if you two are going to catfight, would you mind toning it down on the
screeching?" Kitty spoke up absently, from where she was gathered around
the radio with Jubilation. The dark-haired Chinese girl also lifted her
head, long enough to add, "Yeah, the radio dedications have come back on,
and we almost missed the first song."
"...to
Jean, a very special song for a very special lady, on a very special event,"
the DJ finished. The name of the person who would be receiving the dedication
caught Scott's attention, and he quickly shoved Kurt out of the way and
made a beeline for the radio.
"And
here's the song dedication, With Arms Wide Open, by Creed," the
DJ finished, as the opening chords of the rock ballad began to play.
"Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open"
Hn, so far, so good, Scott thought to himself, noticing that WAWO wasn't showing signs of turning into one of those cheesy, sappy love songs that girls claim they hate and then melt for once a boyfriend either sings them or dedicates them. However, a nagging story was poking around in the back of Scott's mind, as he remembered that WAWO had been written with a specific purpose in mind. He just couldn't quite remember what that purpose was, though...
"Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life"
What a lovely song, no wonder everyone was yapping about how great Arms Wide Open is, it's actually a hopeful ode to...to...to an unborn son?! Scott's head snapped up, as realization dawned upon him. Oh, my God! Lance just dedicated WAWO to Jean! That means that Lance...that Lance...just got Jean pregnant!
A couple of blocks away, in a stylish Victorian, a lavish baby shower was taking place. One of the ladies attending the celebration reached over to the radio and cranked up the volume even louder.
"With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open"
"Aw,
Jeannie, that was so sweet of your husband to dedicate With Arms Wide Open
to you," she squealed. Jeannie picked up a pink-and-blue baby blanket,
hugging it close to her stomach and smiling.
"I
know," she agreed.
"If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open..."
Cue
back to the Xavier Institute, where a disturbingly girly scream had emanated,
loud enough to be heard halfway around the globe (and surely at the humble
Brotherhood abode), followed by the telltale thump that signaled a male
body hitting the floor, unceremoniously smacking his butt on his chair
during the fall. Kurt, Kitty, and Jubilation stared down uncertainly at
the unconscious Scott. Just then...
"And
next up, we have a dedication from Evan to Pietro, which came in right
after the Dude Looks Like A Lady request," the DJ chirped brightly.
"Ooh!"
Kitty and Jubilation squealed, as they turned to crank up the radio volume,
and Kurt stepped over his leader's prone body without a second thought
to join in on the fun.
That's it for today! Next chapter will see the entrance of none other than Rogue, who'll be dragged into a harebrained scheme by Scott to split up the odd couple of Lance and Jean.