Bored Outta My Ed
Dis story was written from my observance of my Art History II class. Enjoy the insanity!
Boredom. It was a word seldom used in his vocabulary, yet on this particular day, Double D knew its meaning. He knew it ever since the bell rang and he came into the dreaded history class. It was not the actual lesson that bored him beyond thought, but the continuous rambling in a dull-toned voice of the teacher.
He slumped back in his desk, watching the other classmates spill into the room. Their faces, save his twin sister's, were sour with anticipation of the newest lesson.
"The Renaissance...whoever came up with that corny idea should have been shot on sight," mumbled Eddy, who crouched into his desk as if ready for a nap, "Let me know if anything is remotely interesting today, okay?"
Double D made a scrunched face at his friend, "If I'm still conscious, man. Just don't let the teacher catch ya this time."
"Don't worry; I'm a master of disguise," Eddy grinned, opening his book to the day's lesson and pretending to be remotely interested.
The teacher came in, ushering all students to their seats, "Well, class, I think I shall begin on the art of Europe..."
He turned out the lights and lit up the film projector, lecturing on picture after picture as if an entire essay had been written on each one.
Double D sighed, wondering if he would make it through the semester. He wondered what the other kids were doing to pass the hour away.
Upon leaning forward in his seat, he propped his book upright, so he could peer around, yet look remotely interested in his studies. Keeping his head low, Double D glanced around the room in an observant manner.
The first subject was Eddy. It had not been five minutes since class began, and he had long since fallen asleep, drooling a puddle on his textbook.
I wonder how Eddy made it through elementary school? Double D thought to himself.
Double D quickly shoved his face into his book as the teacher slapped a piece of paper on Eddy's desk, causing the boy to jolt awake.
"Young man, this is not a nursery. I'll see you in detention."
Eddy wiped the drool from his mouth with a scowl as several whispers and snickers floated around the room. He attempted to wring his book dry, but he soon gave up and snatched one from Ed's desk.
Boy, what a sight for sore eyes. What's this?
Double D began to observe Ed's doings for a moment. He appeared to be passing his time away on a caricature doodle for the school newspaper. Upon further glance, he noticed it was the teacher from that very room that Ed was scribbling.
The drawing was snatched up and thrown into the trash can as the teacher interrupted his lecture again. He shoved a detention slip in Ed's hands and continued on.
Man, that's so devious! Poor Ed worked hard on that!
Double D decided if he could sneak to the garbage can and retrieve the picture without being noticed, but before he could move, quiet Jonny done the deed without so much as a ruffle of rubbish. He hid the picture in the back of his binder, mouthing to Ed that it would be returned after class.
That Jonny is something else. I still feel sorry for the boy, having Plank taken from him. I almost believed the piece of wood was real myself.
Jonny appeared to go back to his studies, looking at the pictures in the book rather than reading. The teacher did not notice him.
Double D watched on a while longer, mesmerized by the mysterious boy in his childish ways, but soon snapped into reality. He checked the clock on the wall.
Ah, twenty-five minutes past. I think I can manage if I keep this up. What goes on over here?
He turned to Nazz. The blonde beauty also held her book upright, but hiding in its pages was a tiny calendar book. She was writing something on the lines of:
"Shop at the mall. Kevin's going to buy me a new suit, as promised. It's our five year, twelve month, three week, and second day anniversary."
Double D scowled, but looked on in curiosity as Nazz showed her little book to Kevin, who was not interested in the least. He turned his head and went back to his sports magazine.
In anger, Nazz crossed out the date, adding something on the lines of:
"Our breakup day."
She flung the book on his desk, allowing him to read it. His eyes flew open. Kevin desperately tried to appologize, but only received the cold shoulder and detention slips for the both of them.
"This is not Jerry Springer, but maybe an hour of detention will settle down your little tiff."
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Man, this is too good to pass up! Who knew it'd be so hilarious to spy on other people?
Eventually, Double D grew tired of Nazz ignoring Kevin, who was about to the point of buying her a yacht for forgiveness. His attention shortly passed itself to Rolf.
The foreign boy was busy doing several assignments from different classes, hoping to have them done in time for basketball practice.
Jocks these days don't have it as easy as people think. Maybe I should help him after class so he won't miss the game.
A throat was cleared as Rolf looked up to see the teacher with yet another detention slip, "If you would pay as much attention as you do for your other studies, you may actually have a chance of passing this class."
"Aye, Momma will skin Rolf's hide for sure," Rolf spoke sadly.
A soft giggling caught Double D's attention. On the far side of the room, the three Kanker sisters were passing notes around each other. He swore he saw Marie 'n Double D on one of them and he panicked. He quickly threw a wad of paper at the girls, causing them to mutter aloud in surprise.
This, of course, caught the attention of the teacher, and the girls were faced with detention.
Evil, evil Double D. Well...may this be a lesson to them.
Double D scanned the room, careful not to meet the teacher's eyes. He had only fifteen minutes left of his torture, and he needed to keep his attention span alive.
He noticed Erikka at the front of the class. She sat in an upright position carefully listening to the lecture and taking avid notes. Double D knew for a fact she loved learning of this time period, but he had no clue why. And out of the entire class, she was the only one paying attention.
Renaissance weirdo. How do you manage to keep it up, dear sister?
She never moved from her position, but Double D heared a reply in his head.
It's not nice to call people names, tomato nose.
Speak for yourself. This crap's boring the hell outta me. How 'bout you?
This "crap" is going to be on the exam next week. If you fail, don't come crying to me.
Awww, I know you too well, sister. You'll help me study, just as always.
*sigh* You're right. I can't let my twin brother be stuck in a grade below me, can I?
"Edward! Pay attention!" the teacher yelled, angrily slapping a slip on his desk.
Erikka turned her head and smirked.
Want me to tell Mom you're staying after school in detention, or make up the usual mumbo-jumbo?
I'll take the usual mumbo-jumbo for the square, please.
I see then. Care to tell me the lesson you've learned today?
Yeah. If history has a way of repeating itself, then why the hell do I hafta learn about something I'm gonna do before I even do it?
I was expecting something more of a "Why, Erikka! You can be so smart sometimes!" but I guess that shall do. Oh, and please, try to think with a lower volume. I really don't want to know what the rest of the class is doing while I'm attempting to pass.
The bell rang, signaling the end of class. Erikka packed her books in her backpack and headed out the door, leaving the rest of the class to wade in their self pity of a wasted Friday afternoon.
Double D groaned, opening his book and reading the first paragraph of the lesson, "Renaissance means 'rebirth'. Hmm..."
He raised his hand, allowing the teacher to look upon him, "Uh, sir, I think I have had my own share of Renaissance. Never again will I interrupt your class. How's that for 'rebirth'?"
The teacher smiled, waving a hand to his tattoo-clad pupil, "Get out of here, and enjoy the weekend."
Double D promptly gathered his things and left the room, smiling and going over his thoughts on the day's observation.
"Now, that was remotely interesting," Eddy spoke sarcastically.
Hey, he learned something after all.
The End
Dis story was written from my observance of my Art History II class. Enjoy the insanity!
Boredom. It was a word seldom used in his vocabulary, yet on this particular day, Double D knew its meaning. He knew it ever since the bell rang and he came into the dreaded history class. It was not the actual lesson that bored him beyond thought, but the continuous rambling in a dull-toned voice of the teacher.
He slumped back in his desk, watching the other classmates spill into the room. Their faces, save his twin sister's, were sour with anticipation of the newest lesson.
"The Renaissance...whoever came up with that corny idea should have been shot on sight," mumbled Eddy, who crouched into his desk as if ready for a nap, "Let me know if anything is remotely interesting today, okay?"
Double D made a scrunched face at his friend, "If I'm still conscious, man. Just don't let the teacher catch ya this time."
"Don't worry; I'm a master of disguise," Eddy grinned, opening his book to the day's lesson and pretending to be remotely interested.
The teacher came in, ushering all students to their seats, "Well, class, I think I shall begin on the art of Europe..."
He turned out the lights and lit up the film projector, lecturing on picture after picture as if an entire essay had been written on each one.
Double D sighed, wondering if he would make it through the semester. He wondered what the other kids were doing to pass the hour away.
Upon leaning forward in his seat, he propped his book upright, so he could peer around, yet look remotely interested in his studies. Keeping his head low, Double D glanced around the room in an observant manner.
The first subject was Eddy. It had not been five minutes since class began, and he had long since fallen asleep, drooling a puddle on his textbook.
I wonder how Eddy made it through elementary school? Double D thought to himself.
Double D quickly shoved his face into his book as the teacher slapped a piece of paper on Eddy's desk, causing the boy to jolt awake.
"Young man, this is not a nursery. I'll see you in detention."
Eddy wiped the drool from his mouth with a scowl as several whispers and snickers floated around the room. He attempted to wring his book dry, but he soon gave up and snatched one from Ed's desk.
Boy, what a sight for sore eyes. What's this?
Double D began to observe Ed's doings for a moment. He appeared to be passing his time away on a caricature doodle for the school newspaper. Upon further glance, he noticed it was the teacher from that very room that Ed was scribbling.
The drawing was snatched up and thrown into the trash can as the teacher interrupted his lecture again. He shoved a detention slip in Ed's hands and continued on.
Man, that's so devious! Poor Ed worked hard on that!
Double D decided if he could sneak to the garbage can and retrieve the picture without being noticed, but before he could move, quiet Jonny done the deed without so much as a ruffle of rubbish. He hid the picture in the back of his binder, mouthing to Ed that it would be returned after class.
That Jonny is something else. I still feel sorry for the boy, having Plank taken from him. I almost believed the piece of wood was real myself.
Jonny appeared to go back to his studies, looking at the pictures in the book rather than reading. The teacher did not notice him.
Double D watched on a while longer, mesmerized by the mysterious boy in his childish ways, but soon snapped into reality. He checked the clock on the wall.
Ah, twenty-five minutes past. I think I can manage if I keep this up. What goes on over here?
He turned to Nazz. The blonde beauty also held her book upright, but hiding in its pages was a tiny calendar book. She was writing something on the lines of:
"Shop at the mall. Kevin's going to buy me a new suit, as promised. It's our five year, twelve month, three week, and second day anniversary."
Double D scowled, but looked on in curiosity as Nazz showed her little book to Kevin, who was not interested in the least. He turned his head and went back to his sports magazine.
In anger, Nazz crossed out the date, adding something on the lines of:
"Our breakup day."
She flung the book on his desk, allowing him to read it. His eyes flew open. Kevin desperately tried to appologize, but only received the cold shoulder and detention slips for the both of them.
"This is not Jerry Springer, but maybe an hour of detention will settle down your little tiff."
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Man, this is too good to pass up! Who knew it'd be so hilarious to spy on other people?
Eventually, Double D grew tired of Nazz ignoring Kevin, who was about to the point of buying her a yacht for forgiveness. His attention shortly passed itself to Rolf.
The foreign boy was busy doing several assignments from different classes, hoping to have them done in time for basketball practice.
Jocks these days don't have it as easy as people think. Maybe I should help him after class so he won't miss the game.
A throat was cleared as Rolf looked up to see the teacher with yet another detention slip, "If you would pay as much attention as you do for your other studies, you may actually have a chance of passing this class."
"Aye, Momma will skin Rolf's hide for sure," Rolf spoke sadly.
A soft giggling caught Double D's attention. On the far side of the room, the three Kanker sisters were passing notes around each other. He swore he saw Marie 'n Double D on one of them and he panicked. He quickly threw a wad of paper at the girls, causing them to mutter aloud in surprise.
This, of course, caught the attention of the teacher, and the girls were faced with detention.
Evil, evil Double D. Well...may this be a lesson to them.
Double D scanned the room, careful not to meet the teacher's eyes. He had only fifteen minutes left of his torture, and he needed to keep his attention span alive.
He noticed Erikka at the front of the class. She sat in an upright position carefully listening to the lecture and taking avid notes. Double D knew for a fact she loved learning of this time period, but he had no clue why. And out of the entire class, she was the only one paying attention.
Renaissance weirdo. How do you manage to keep it up, dear sister?
She never moved from her position, but Double D heared a reply in his head.
It's not nice to call people names, tomato nose.
Speak for yourself. This crap's boring the hell outta me. How 'bout you?
This "crap" is going to be on the exam next week. If you fail, don't come crying to me.
Awww, I know you too well, sister. You'll help me study, just as always.
*sigh* You're right. I can't let my twin brother be stuck in a grade below me, can I?
"Edward! Pay attention!" the teacher yelled, angrily slapping a slip on his desk.
Erikka turned her head and smirked.
Want me to tell Mom you're staying after school in detention, or make up the usual mumbo-jumbo?
I'll take the usual mumbo-jumbo for the square, please.
I see then. Care to tell me the lesson you've learned today?
Yeah. If history has a way of repeating itself, then why the hell do I hafta learn about something I'm gonna do before I even do it?
I was expecting something more of a "Why, Erikka! You can be so smart sometimes!" but I guess that shall do. Oh, and please, try to think with a lower volume. I really don't want to know what the rest of the class is doing while I'm attempting to pass.
The bell rang, signaling the end of class. Erikka packed her books in her backpack and headed out the door, leaving the rest of the class to wade in their self pity of a wasted Friday afternoon.
Double D groaned, opening his book and reading the first paragraph of the lesson, "Renaissance means 'rebirth'. Hmm..."
He raised his hand, allowing the teacher to look upon him, "Uh, sir, I think I have had my own share of Renaissance. Never again will I interrupt your class. How's that for 'rebirth'?"
The teacher smiled, waving a hand to his tattoo-clad pupil, "Get out of here, and enjoy the weekend."
Double D promptly gathered his things and left the room, smiling and going over his thoughts on the day's observation.
"Now, that was remotely interesting," Eddy spoke sarcastically.
Hey, he learned something after all.
The End