Disclaimer: The obvious. I can't draw manga for crap.
This is my first ever attempt to write stuff on Naruto. What a horror it was too, when I reread it. If it sucks, don't shoot me. If it's awesome, don't shoot me either.
Lament on Friendship.
The rules on friendship:
1. Friends are supposed to care for each other.
2. Friends are supposed to help each other out.
3. Friends listen to the troubles a friend would have.
4. Friends respect each other.
5. Friends will fight and then they'll make up.
Well, bullcrap.
Naruto Uzumaki, for all the years he's known Sasuke Uchiha, the 'mysterious, cool, hot guy' known by Sakura (but known as 'bastard with the stick up his ass' to Naruto), has never, ever seen Sasuke do any of those things.
Like, the rule that friends are supposed to care for each other…
Reminiscence:
"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Several explosions went off before Naruto came stumbling back, clothes covered with soot and blonde hair singed. Sasuke just stared at him, his expression 'WTF you idiot?' But he still stayed at the spot he was at, not moving.
"Well?!" Naruto demanded, "Aren't you going to ask if I'm okay?!" He placed his hands at his hips, glaring at Sasuke with an expectant expression.
Sasuke remained silent for a while, then said (rather snidely, in Naruto's opinion), "I don't need to ask if you're okay. I can SEE that you're not…"
And his cool glance fell from Naruto's sooty appearance. "And can you clean yourself up? You look horrible."
Naruto gritted his teeth. Stupid Sasuke-bastard, thinking he was all cool and that shit. Well, fuck him with a ten meter stick; he was NOT.
Current:
Which reminded Naruto, the rule that friends are supposed to help each other out…
Reminiscence:
"Ow! Sasuke, the dog bit me!" Naruto whined to Sasuke just 'cause he was there. Sasuke ignored Naruto and threw three shuriken at three innocent ravens that were pecking at the ground randomly. The birds flew off, and Sasuke sighed with regret. "Damn birds…the hell why do I think of Itachi when I see them?!" He kicked at a small rock in frustration that could not be put into words.
"Oi! I'm in pain here!" Naruto hollered at Sasuke, who appeared oblivious, being at the other end of the training field from Naruto. The dog, a tiny little bullpup, grinned at Naruto with sharp fangs and sank its teeth into Naruto's leg again. "Ow ow ow ow OW!!!" Naruto managed to kick the dog away. He just broke his moral code: never abuse animals…and it was Sasuke's fault, because Sasuke didn't abuse the dog for Naruto. (Naruto didn't hate dogs, it was just that they usually went crazy when they saw Naruto.)
Current:
Naruto threw a rock at a stray dog. The dog, a rather big one, saw red. Naruto paled. Oh shit…He ran.
Where was Sasuke when you needed him? Boy, Naruto was fucked.
Reminiscence:
"Hey Sasuke!" Naruto shouted at Sasuke, jumping up and down, trying to get his attention. Sasuke saw him, flinched slightly and started to walk the other direction, keeping his head down and pretending as if he had never seen Naruto.
"Oi! Where are you going?" Naruto had caught up with Sasuke. He kept up with Sasuke's fast and unusually long steps, panting. "So this guy came and tried to kill me, you know? And this other guy that looked like a blue fish –hey are there blue fishes out there? But anyway, they tried to kill me too, or kidnap me. Do you think they're like those guys that kidnap children and sell them? But what should I do? I'm in danger, Sasuke, danger—HEY! You're not even listening to me!!!"
"Shut up, moron. You make my head hurt."
Current:
Naruto was up on a tree, looking down at the mangy mutt that looked like it rose from hell. "Go away, stupid doggy! I said, go away!!!" He screeched, not aware that he sounded like a girl on her bitch mode (PMS).
Thoughts of how WONDERFUL friends would be right now invaded his mind once more…wait, friends respect each other?
More of Naruto's painful memories:
"Stupid idiot, you can't do anything right." That was when Sasuke was pissed off when he found out that Naruto had pulled out all the tomato plants from the garden instead of the overgrown weed beside them that practically shouted out, 'pull me, I'm a weed!'
"You MORON!" Sasuke had yelled when he saw that Naruto set his house on fire with a birthday candle.
"You…jackASS! Get back here!" Sasuke had snapped after seeing all his hard work of picking the trash from the river all dumped back into the river.
"…" That was the worse, when Sasuke hadn't said anything or yelled anything at Naruto for being an idiot.
And of course, Naruto now felt he had the worst best friend ever, just thinking about it. Really. Naruto always respected Sasuke…
"Oi, Sasuke!" That was usually what Naruto began with before rambling on and on about various things that were interesting to him…at least he called Sasuke by his name and not start with, "Oi, fuckface!" or something wonderfully satisfying like that.
"Hey bastard!" And that was semi-respecting, wasn't it? At least it didn't insult Sasuke's intelligence…
"Yo guy-with-the-stick-up-his-ass!" That was enough respect to Sasuke, it was the truth, right? Sasuke did act like he had a stick, a huge stick at that, up his snotty ass.
Current:
The damn dog would not stop barking…Naruto shifted his grip on the fragile branch on the tree he was stuck on. He heard a cracking sound…he began to tilt sideways, the wind whooshed into his ears, and…he was in real deep shit now.
And of course, Sasuke, being the wonderful friend he was, would show up at this crucial time of Naruto's life, right? Nope, 'cause Naruto completely pissed Sasuke off and they had this HUMONGOUS fight that involved a whole bunch of heart-hurting insults and anger-rising obscene gestures. Naruto sniffed. Good bye, my life, to this old, mangy dog…
A bark and a yelp and a crash later, Naruto opened his eyes, looking around.
"Idiot, I can't believe you're afraid of a dog." A very familiar voice said into Naruto's ear. Sasuke! Naruto's heart leaped for joy, and soon, the said Uchiha was being squeezed to death by a too grateful, bouncy blond.
"I get that you're happy to see me! Now get OFF OF ME!" Sasuke pushed Naruto away, with extreme difficulty, scowling.
Naruto grinned. "Geez, I thought you weren't going to speak to me ever again!" His grin was infectious. Sasuke smiled, despite himself.
"We're friends, remember?"
That was a line that Naruto loved to death. Friends…
"Hey," Naruto said suddenly, realization hitting him. "Where's the dog?"
"I killed it."
"Oh."
The two friends helped each other up from the ground and began walking to meet with the team.
"Sasuke," Naruto said suddenly, as they were walking down the road.
"What." Sasuke answered automatically, preparing himself for a bunch of ramblings.
"Have I ever told you how much I loved you?" Naruto was staring at Sasuke with a funny expression on his face.
Sasuke shivered. "Ew. I hope not." His expression was something close to horror.
Naruto grinned. "Good, 'cause I will." He sidled close to Sasuke, hand almost touching. "I love you."
Sasuke had an expression that looked faintly green.
"Not."
Sasuke's face went back to his normal pale color. "That's good." He said, relieved but somewhat disappointed.
"Look this way, Sasuke." Naruto grinned widely. He felt…loving today, for some weird reason.
Sasuke, curious, looked at Naruto.
Naruto chose this moment to quickly kiss Sasuke on the lips. He sprinted off the opposite direction after he kissed Sasuke.
Sasuke stood by himself, shocked. Then he recovered. A small smile graced his lips, and he shoved his hands in his pockets as he went to look for Naruto, to give him an answer to a question that was never asked.
The end.
(Author's parting words)
I'm not even sure if I should call myself an author. I'm strictly an amateur, and I suck. It's hard to write stories when the writer has no fuckin' idea what to do. I had to change this story because I realized, while rereading it, that it was…too weird. Okay, fine, it sucked ass. Pardon my language, but as for my writing abilities, vulgar language will just have to be used, by me of course.
So I hope with all my brains, if I have any, that you at least found it a BIT interesting. Thanks for reading! * Leaves through a hidden trapdoor*