DISCLAIMER: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion at all. I wish I could though. Hehehehehehehehehe
AN: Do not be frightened by this story. I was in a very depressing mood and that made me think of Shinji. I did not intend this to relate to anyone's life so don't take it that way. Please do not feel depressed after reading this story, it was the only way that I could really express myself to everyone at this point in time.
Sitting in my dark room, I stared at my ceiling. Images of me flitted passed my eyes. In all of the images I was depressed and alone. A cool breeze blew across my bare chest countering the heat of my body. It was great, but it was only a distant feeling in my jumbled world.
I rolled over to look at the blank wall. Another day was spent being solitary, no one spoke to me. Days rolled by where people talked but nothing came out, it always scared me. Even my friends are more distant than ever.
What happened and why me? How did I deserve to be alone when now I need my friends the most? Am I to live a reclusive life and not know a soul? Till then, I shall smile and nod to those who talk to me and go on living.
Can this be called living? I spend my time counting down the days till no one will know who I am. Forever measuring everything around me and thinking how long it will last. Does this mean I am doomed?
Someone save me from myself! This life I lead has taken me from myself and I am lost I my own body. People are images only shown for an instant. Gone in a moment, I become alone again. The pain is as vibrant as the sun and sadness is like the wind.
Propping myself up on my elbows, I saw the outline of my friend. She talks to herself in her sleep in German, will that penguin makes frequent trips to the bathroom. I learned to love the people I live with, but now they too are distant from my heart.
I looked down at my sheets, the outline of my legs was defined with shadows but no feeling resided in them. This depression of mine had started to shut down my body.
Tears welled in my eyes. My body shook violently; I had to get some air. Getting up slowly, the covers fell off my body and I opened the door. Quickly shutting it behind me, the cool breeze whipped at my bare skin.
The sky was clear but my vision was cloudy. This breeze was doing me no good. Perhaps I should leave town and find a life outside of school and Nerv for my own safety.
Loneliness had become my best friend recently. Boring her way into my head telling me that all will soon be destroyed, taken away from me and I am not going to be able to do anything about it.
Sighing, I walked back inside and flopped onto my futon on my back. It was cold and it suited my current mood. Life was worth nothing if no bright spark was there to make it enjoyable.
Rolling over and staring at the wall again, I finally realised what I was meant to be. Alone.
Please tell me what you think!