Title: Jessie's Girl
Author: Josephine
Email: Josephine@aol.com
Rating: R
Codes: S
Genre: Romance/Angst
Summary: The grass is always greener on the other side.
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I walk into the mess hall, automatically finding Hoshi. She's sitting by a window; the light falls on her bent head, picking out the highlights in her hair. She looks up suddenly, and smiles right at me. A warm welcoming smile, that makes my heart beat fast and turns my knees to jelly. But her eyes don't meet mine, and I turn to see what she's looking at.
Not what, who. Him. She's looking at him. And he's got the same smile for her. He hurries through the line, getting his food, then sits down next to her. I see their hands touch, and the smiles return, but this time they're full of promises, and secrets shared.
I get my own food, not really caring what I eat. I'm not that hungry now. I start to wander to the other side of the room, but he calls to me, an invitation to join them. She echoes it, motioning me over. I change course and sit down; not to do so would look strange. We're practically best friends, after all. I act normal, talk about things happening on the ship. But my lunch turns to ashes in my mouth as I hear her voice, as I watch them flirt. I want to shout, to tell her *I'm* the one who really loves her, not him; but the words die on my tongue.
I make a pretense of finishing, but leave soon after, the image of their heads bent toward each other burned into my memory.
Keeping away from the bridge that afternoon is easy. I have a lot of work in my own department to do, but it doesn't keep my mind off what could be happing up there. The two of them are professionals, there wouldn't be anything overt while they're on duty, but there doesn't need to be. Hoshi can say so much with just a glance; I've seen quite a number she's thrown at him. He gives as good as he gets though, sometimes she'll flush and turn away, and he'll laugh softly.
I go to dinner right after my shift, I don't want to have to sit and watch them again. I barely make it out in time, I can hear them coming down the corridor. My shower is cold, as usual; I try and keep my thoughts away from her but it's so easy to think the water running down my back is her hand, the warmth is her body. My skin becomes blue as I turn the water colder.
I catch sight of myself in the mirror as I towel off. What is it about me that she doesn't like? I've had other women want me before, why doesn't she? I make myself to be smooth and charming around her, she laughs at my stories; so what is it that she doesn't see in me?
I throw myself onto my bunk, another long, fitful night ahead of me. Something wakes me, hours later. I wonder what it could be, then freeze as I recognize the sound. Oh God, not now, not tonight. It's her voice, coming through the wall from his cabin. The familiar noise leaves no doubt as to what's happening next door, and her passionate cries fuel my own desires. In my mind she's under me, calling my name. My body responds instantly as my imagination runs wild. I hear him call her name in release, and I'm there with him, using my pillow to muffle the sound.
Does he realize what he has in her? Does he even know how lucky he is? Why can't I find a woman like that?
Author: Josephine
Email: Josephine@aol.com
Rating: R
Codes: S
Genre: Romance/Angst
Summary: The grass is always greener on the other side.
----------
I walk into the mess hall, automatically finding Hoshi. She's sitting by a window; the light falls on her bent head, picking out the highlights in her hair. She looks up suddenly, and smiles right at me. A warm welcoming smile, that makes my heart beat fast and turns my knees to jelly. But her eyes don't meet mine, and I turn to see what she's looking at.
Not what, who. Him. She's looking at him. And he's got the same smile for her. He hurries through the line, getting his food, then sits down next to her. I see their hands touch, and the smiles return, but this time they're full of promises, and secrets shared.
I get my own food, not really caring what I eat. I'm not that hungry now. I start to wander to the other side of the room, but he calls to me, an invitation to join them. She echoes it, motioning me over. I change course and sit down; not to do so would look strange. We're practically best friends, after all. I act normal, talk about things happening on the ship. But my lunch turns to ashes in my mouth as I hear her voice, as I watch them flirt. I want to shout, to tell her *I'm* the one who really loves her, not him; but the words die on my tongue.
I make a pretense of finishing, but leave soon after, the image of their heads bent toward each other burned into my memory.
Keeping away from the bridge that afternoon is easy. I have a lot of work in my own department to do, but it doesn't keep my mind off what could be happing up there. The two of them are professionals, there wouldn't be anything overt while they're on duty, but there doesn't need to be. Hoshi can say so much with just a glance; I've seen quite a number she's thrown at him. He gives as good as he gets though, sometimes she'll flush and turn away, and he'll laugh softly.
I go to dinner right after my shift, I don't want to have to sit and watch them again. I barely make it out in time, I can hear them coming down the corridor. My shower is cold, as usual; I try and keep my thoughts away from her but it's so easy to think the water running down my back is her hand, the warmth is her body. My skin becomes blue as I turn the water colder.
I catch sight of myself in the mirror as I towel off. What is it about me that she doesn't like? I've had other women want me before, why doesn't she? I make myself to be smooth and charming around her, she laughs at my stories; so what is it that she doesn't see in me?
I throw myself onto my bunk, another long, fitful night ahead of me. Something wakes me, hours later. I wonder what it could be, then freeze as I recognize the sound. Oh God, not now, not tonight. It's her voice, coming through the wall from his cabin. The familiar noise leaves no doubt as to what's happening next door, and her passionate cries fuel my own desires. In my mind she's under me, calling my name. My body responds instantly as my imagination runs wild. I hear him call her name in release, and I'm there with him, using my pillow to muffle the sound.
Does he realize what he has in her? Does he even know how lucky he is? Why can't I find a woman like that?