Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: A sort of continuation for Thoughts (one). This is Hermione's version. Again, all sorts of comments or criticisms are very much welcome. Thanks for reading.
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THOUGHTS (Hermione Version)
"Hey, no loitering on this part of the castle!" I shouted, maybe for the fourth time towards the giggling flock of Slytherin first years. I could feel my arteries pump against my skin, a sign that I am ready to burst out any minute. Damn these first years! Why did they have to be so hard-headed?
I snorted; hah they're Slytherins after all. Someday they'll grow up to be the most loathsome wizards and witches in this part of the globe. Well, some of them anyway.
I composed myself and decided that before I spat fire all over the place, I reminded myself that they're just a bunch of first years; ready to wreak havoc anytime they find an opportunity to.
I smiled; we were like that when we were still in our first years, weren't we?
And for Pete's sake, were we THAT short?
I knew I'll be daydreaming once again after I remembered you. I do this all the time these past few days. It even makes me wonder why, when I only thought of you as a friend not so long ago.
Why the sudden change I ask?
Hmm, let me think.
Maybe when I started noticing on how cute you were when you sleep. Your eyelashes curled in a pattern that touched your cheek in such a way that it makes me want to touch them…
Or maybe when I started stealing glances at you when you're eating breakfast. The way you swallow and chew your food suddenly gets me in a daze I couldn't get out of. Plus they make me think of smutty thoughts of you and me so early in the morning…
Yeah, talk about weird.
Before I get mushy and jittery all over, I continued to walk my way up to the girls' dormitory after another set of nightly rounds with the other school prefects. Tiring yes, but thoughts of you always keep me awake.
Especially at night.
I guess I finally saw you in a different light.
I continued to shove food into my mouth, even though they tasted like crap. You're still not up and I hate it when you miss breakfast. Not only am I concerned but my mornings aren't the same without you seated in front of me sharing some lame old jokes with Ron. It's the look of you getting all so worked up on a joke that makes me laugh, not the joke.
Besides, I'm not much of a joke person.
I was eating my toast of bread in peace when someone passed by and I got pissed off.
Look who's here, Cho Chang in all her effing glory.
Shit. I think I'm gonna be sick.
I mean, what does she have that I don't? Well, except for the boobs department I think I can pretty much compare to her. Oh and besides, I hate it when she walks on by feeling as if butterflies worship the ground she's walking on or something.
She's not even from Beauxbatons for Flamel's sake!
Ooopps, there I go again.
I remind myself that I'm much luckier because I get to see you in your underwear and get away with it. Bwahaha. One of the perks for being your best friend.
Ouch.
The thought of us being just that made me feel even worse. Now I feel like shoving the fork I'm holding way down to Cho's throat. Wait, not now. Maybe later.
Someone passed on the pumpkin pie platter in front of me.
I cursed, for they remind me of you.
I shoved one down my throat anyway.
I continued to scribble down my parchment in Arithmancy as your thoughts swarmed through my mind once again. Professor Vector continued to blabber about today's lesson but my full attention was all drawn into you.
I blushed instantly as I remembered what happened back in Potions class a while ago. Your eyes met mine and I could swear I saw you turn red. Maybe it's just my imagination or whatever but I wasn't sure if you were looking at me because you find me pretty to look at (wishful thinking) or you find me weird. Best friends don't exchange melting looks in class mind you. So something really came up when I caught you look at me.
Wait. Did I have something on my face while back?
Whatever.
But I still love the way you smile silly back at me. It gives me butterflies in my stomach, and everything that comes in between.
I sighed and stopped writing to massage my fingers when it started to hurt from too much writing. Gee, I have consumed five parchments already.
I was startled when something (or someone) hit the window at lightning speed. Professor Vector screamed loud enough to bring back the dead. Some erupted in giggles but I continued to stare out the window. I saw some Quidditch players wheeze by the window, and I wondered where you were.
Which one are you?
I can't tell. But I miss you already.
I listened to the sound of my footsteps as they echo through the empty castle corridors after another night of my rounds as a prefect. I hear nothing except for the rhythm of my footsteps as I made my way to the Common Room. I feel alone and empty.
That's how I feel when you're not around either.
You're like a pill. And I can't get you out of my system. I feel like dying when you're away.
But I'm just you're best friend and I'm afraid that's all I'll ever be.
Do you know hard it is restraining myself at times from the urge to hug you? To kiss you and tell you that I love you?
Do you know that I stay up at night staring out of nowhere just thinking about you and the way you laugh? The way you smirk and even for just the way you walk?
Do you know I squee deep inside of me everytime your hand accidentally brushes mine?
Do you know that I could even die for you? To give everything just to be loved by you?
No. You don't. And that's the most hurtful thing ever.
If you only knew how you invaded my thoughts.
I scratched my head on reflex, just like every time I go clueless. I just shoved these thoughts aside and decided to save them for later. I don't want Filch seeing me alone in the castle hallways. Heck, I don't want to see him either.
My heart stopped for a while when I saw someone looming in the shadows nearby. I called out in fear, "Who's there?" My knees were shaking. It's almost midnight and no student is allowed to roam the hallways anymore.
"It's me 'Mione."
You then came out from the shadows, giving me the sweetest of smiles. Your free hand was inside your pocket and the other scratching your disheveled hair. You look like a kid. And I was then free to breathe.
I placed my hands on my hips. It's my reprimanding stance. "Harry? Jeez, you scared the hell outta me!"
You came nearer. I could smell your minty cologne by then. "I was waiting for you."
I raised an eyebrow and stared at back. "You were waiting for me? What for? Harry I could manage by myself," Deep inside I was already jumping for joy.
"I know, I know," you were now scratching your neck like the way every time you were cornered. "But I wanted to walk with you to the Common Room that's all. I figured you might feel lonely so I waited for you here." He smiled.
You see, Harry's really sweet. But he's a bad liar. That pick-up line is so yesterday.
I gave up anyway.
So by now I was already hearing the hallelujah chorus inside me.
"Okay Harry whatever you say." And I lead the way towards the Common Room. I was about to go when I felt him hold my one hand. I turned around.
"Yes?" I asked. But it was hard keeping myself intact when the warmth or your single touch flooded my senses. I wish we could stay like this forever.
"Can I hold your hand all the way to there?"
I held your hand tighter and you smiled even more. "Sure Harry. You can hold my hand." And at that moment, I wasn't alone anymore. The night didn't seem empty.
Harry was holding my hand all right, but if he only knew, that he was already holding my heart as well.
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-fin-
