Why am I actually still doing this?
I hate my life. You can think I'm drowning myself in self pity, but I'm not, it's just the way it is.
I'm sick of all this. Nothing will ever change, and I don't know how to go on like this. In fact, I don't even know how I managed to go on like this in the past.
My life is shit and nothing can make it better, ever. It'll always be like this, because I've never had even the slightest bit of a chance, or something in that way.
'One foot in front of the other', I told myself. 'Calm down, they won't notice you if you don't draw attention to yourself- damn.'
And with that, I tripped over my own feet, probably because of my wonderful, haunting nervousness. As I tried to balance myself, I stepped onto a branch, creating a loud cracking sound.
It couldn't get any worse, could it?
"Hey, fag!", an all too familiar voice called from behind me, leaving me slightly startled, but mostly scared. Why do I even care that much anymore?
"What do you want, Elias?", I spat back, not as scared as before anymore, due none-caring.
"I always knew you are stupid and clumsy, but firstly, you'd think I won't notice you, and secondly, you even mess that up through your own stupidity by tripping over your own damn feet. How dumb can you get?", he said.
Wow, he even put some kind of effort into this, today. How flattering.
"Oh, see, it can say other than 'fag', 'loser', or 'emo-faggot'", I mumbled, and just as I said it I realized how stupid it was to say that.
"What did you just say, faggot?", he said, intimidatingly, or that's what he tried, at least, while taking a step in my direction, standing closely in front of my small form, "you think I'm stupid?", he laughed pathetically, "you'll regret that"
His fist collided with my cheek, and I flow backwards. Elias was a shit-ton taller than me, but really, that's not that difficult, considering that I'm really tiny.
I didn't fell yet, and I still had strength, so I thought about escaping, but, really, why? It wouldn't help anyway, so I didn't fought back or ran away, I just took it, like always.
By the time he was finished, I was located against one of the lockers in one of our school hallways. It had been pretty bad this time, and I normally wouldn't have minded being even more late to class than I'm already am because of trying to be cautious, but I can't afford to be late again. So, usually, I would have just laid around until a teacher would find me and get me to the nurse, so I could leave, or I'd leave by myself, but this time, I couldn't- I needed to graduate.
So groaning, and not wanting, I forced myself onto my unsteady feet, just for it to carry me to one of the disgusting school restrooms, so I could clean myself up and get the rest of my prison-time over, even if it's just for today.
As I entered the so called 'restrooms', I felt the urge to vomit. And that wasn't just because I got beat up quite badly, but also because it reeked pretty strongly in here. This whole room is a huge trashcan, and it should actually win an award for reeking worse than the locker rooms.
But besides this, and the fact that it's still vandalized pretty badly, it was decent enough for me to sort out my injuries.
It looked really bad, from what I could see, so I cleaned the dried blood off of my face, trying to not hurt myself in the process any further, and put up my hood to hide at least a bit of my face.
That must do, I guess. Better than nothing, right? It's not like someone would care anyway.
And with that, I started my way to class. I had English now, and I was dreading it, but I really needed to go so I could go through graduation without any more problems. Also, it was just today, tomorrow was my unofficial day off, because of my totally legal job. Oops.
"So, as I said-"
"Um, I'm sorry for being late, sir.. ", I interrupted quietly, not bothering to look up.
"It's okay. Take a seat, and don't let it happen again, okay?", the teacher started to talk again, surprisingly calm, and I tried to put a face to the voice, but I couldn't recognize the latter, so it must have been a teacher I didn't knew, so, out of curiosity, I decided to look up, and my eyes were met with the purest and prettiest hazel I've ever seen.