Formal
A/N: I really have no idea. This just came to meh. Another one of my quick-time efforts. Um...Tenpou's POV, warnings of shounen-ai implications and angst. And language. Yay.
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Is it wrong to get possessive over something that was never formally mine?
I probably wouldn't get so mad if this were the first time. In fact, I –didn't- get mad the first time. Sure. She was hitting on him. He was only being a gentleman. I didn't believe it for a second, but it didn't last, so there wasn't much use in complaining. It wouldn't happen again.
My ass.
I can't totally blame him. We never decided anything completely. Friends with benefits. We were never official or anything. But I thought we had –something- at least. Maybe not. Maybe if I had gotten those things squared at the beginning, I wouldn't be in this position now.
Did I ever talk to him about whom I wanted to date? Of course not. The fact that there –wasn't- anyone is beside the point. He's most of the reason for that. What's the sense of it when I had a perfectly good thing going here?
Because he's Kenren, that's why.
I called him in during work. I was busy, but we hadn't been able to get any time lately. And right in the middle of my office, he starts telling me about this girl he met. I had met her once before. A nice girl, but one of those moody 'my life is tragedy' types. He says she's happier when he's around. He's considering dating her. Did I approve?
He had the fucking nerve to ask me if I approved.
What was I supposed to say, no? I couldn't just agree. I muttered something about not knowing her well enough. And, oblivious as usual, he goes on. Do I have to be a drama queen to get noticed now?
This is the third time. Third fucking time. The first I brushed off. The girl wasn't of a very nice type. The second never happened. But he wanted it to. He'd tell me he was in love with her.
Thanks so much.
It might be my own fault. Konzen warned me of this, and I had known of his reputation since I'd met him. And like the hopeless romantic, I denied it, convinced he just didn't want us together.
So now, what he couldn't do to us, we did to ourselves.
Yet, I let it continue. I pretend nothing's wrong, of course it doesn't bother me. If this is love, it's the worst version I've ever seen, because I've never heard of true love like –this-.
I could give up. I could just say it's over, go back to before. I wouldn't be the first to be heartbroken by Kenren Taisho, but I'll be damned if I don't return some of that pain. I might be petty, but he's an ass.
But I can't. I can't and I know it. That might be what makes it so bad.
Fuck, I hate love.