This is my testimony for the fanfic court. I got permission from Snooky-9095 to post this under my name. Please read and review so I know what you think of my story.
I was on my vacation in Hawaii, laying on Waikiki beach and enjoying the sun and sights. I was on a beach blanket under a big umbrella and was enjoying the warm summer sun, the palm trees swaying in the breeze, the sound of waves crashing to the shore, and all the really hot guys walking and surfing. I was defiantly in heaven. I had a pina colada in one hand and a mai tai in the other. Okay, it had been a long winter and I needed a vacation. I had managed to get my fan fiction writing done before I left, so I was happy.
I was starting to doze off when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I looked over to see a delivery guy standing next to me. I set my mai tai down in the sand and lowered my sunglasses to look at this guy. He was wearing uniform pants, but was minus a uniform shirt. He had the nicest set of six-pack abs I had ever seen. What could this hunk of a man want with me?!
"Ma'am, are you Waikiki23?" he asked, looking at his clipboard.
I stared at him for a moment. What a hunk! Wait...why was he using my screen name for fan fiction?
"Yes, that's me. Can I help you?"
"This is for you. Please sign here," he said as he handed me a long envelope and his clipboard for me to sign.
I took both and signed for the letter. I handed his clipboard back to him.
"Thank you ma'am," he said, and then disappeared in the crowd.
I put down my pina colada and ripped open the envelope. That was weird! I did a double-take when I realized what this letter was. A subpoena?! For being a fanfic writer?! What the hell?! Causing pain and suffering?! To who? Who are theboysfrombarrackstwo?!
All of a sudden I looked up and realized I was sitting a court room, in the witness stand. Oh, no! I knew where I was. The fanfic court. I had been keeping up with it before I left for my vacation. Well, it was only a matter of time. Wait, oh my God! I'm wearing a bikini! I looked down quickly and saw I was thankfully out of the red bikini I was sporting at the beach and was clothed in a nice white dress. Thank God for small miracles!
I looked out to the court room and saw every one of the characters I had written about in my fan fiction. I saw Hogan, his men and the Allies on the right side of the courtroom and the Germans on the other. I saw the boys in blue, the firefighters from Emergency! Oh geez, Mike's blue eyes are just melting me here in my seat! The Duke boys were sitting in the row behind the firefighters. The Taylor family from Home Improvement was sitting next to Anne and Gilbert Blythe.
Oh man, I'm screwed!
Perry Mason stood in front of me. "Ma'am, for the record, are you Waikiki23?"
"Yes I am. But I go by Karen Summers," I paused for a moment, seeing the reaction from the firefighters, then looked Mr. Mason in the eyes, "I know you.. You're Perry Mason, right?"
"That would be me," he replied, glad that someone knew who he was.
"Well, no offense, but if I'm on trial here, I'd like to have another lawyer, if it would please the court."
"Your Honor..." Mason started to protest but was cut off by the judge raising his hand.
Judge Harry Stone from Night Court looked over at me and sighed, "Might as well. This whole trial has been a three ring circus with all the different attorneys, fan fiction writers popping in and out of here, and characters that have been showing up in here. Okay Ms. Summers, who would you like to represent you?"
"Could I have Commander Harmon Raab Jr sir? He's from the JAG offices."
This sent a commotion through the courtroom.
"She's going with a Navy guy!" Carter whispered to Hogan.
"I know, I know. Hopefully he's as big as an idiot as that Navy lawyer that shot up the courtroom a few years ago." Hogan replied, pinching the bridge of his nose. He had the start of a huge headache and really wanted to get back to the barracks and forget this ever happened.
"Uh Colonel, that was him." Kinch said, smothering a grin.
"Oh man, this ought to be interesting."
The doors to the courtroom opened and in stepped the commander himself. He strode in and took his place next to Mason.
"Mr. Mason. It's an honor to meet you. I'm Commander Raab," Harm said, extending his hand out. Perry took it and glared at me.
"Can we get back to the case please? Commander Riker, your witness," Stone said, starting to play with his magic eraser board as Riker stood.
"Ms. Summers, you are a fan fiction writer, are you not?"
"Yes. I have written 13 stories and have a few more in my head. I started writing when I was 12 and just started publishing last year," I replied, knowing my stories weren't full of angst, maybe.
"How many have you written for Hogan's Heroes?"
"One."
I heard LeBeau fall off of the bench. The rest of the heroes gathered around him.
"And what was that story about?" Riker looked back to see LeBeau getting shakily to his feet.
"It was a one-shot about LeBeau. And before you ask, a one-shot is a change to some part of the original series episodes. My story was on the episode That's no Lady, That's my Spy. The one where LeBeau was shot. I changed it slightly. But he came out alright." I was starting to get a headache and wished I was back on the beach with my alcohol.
"That's all well and good, but do you not read the other stories on the Hogan's Heroes section?"
"Yes, sometimes. I mainly read Emergency stories. I am also a beta reader. I proofread other writer's work before its puts it online."
"And just who do you beta for?"
"Objection your honor. Why do we need to know?" Harm stood and looked from the judge to me. God, he is so sexy in his uniform!
"Overruled. I would like to know commander. Now sit down," Stone said, looking over at me as Harm sat down. "Ms. Summers, please answer the question."
"I beta for Jennaya."
That really sent a commotion through the courtroom. Hochstetter was busily writing on the back of a napkin, Hogan and his men had suddenly stiffened like they had heard some bad news and Klink, Shultz and Burkhalter were having a heated conversation between themselves.
"Hey, her stories are great. I can't wait for her to send me the next chapters."
This really started a riot in the gallery. "Aha!" Hochstetter exclaimed, scribbling furiously and jumping to his feet.
Judge Stone began pounding his gavel. "I want order in this court! Major Hochstetter, sit down before I throw you out!"
The gallery began to quiet down and Judge Stone looked back at me, "Ms. Summers, please control your comments. I really don't like having my courtroom in a riot."
"Yes your honor. Look, I have only written one story for Hogan's Heroes. I mainly write for the Emergency section." I saw the boys in blue shooting looks to one another.
"And you cause quite a stir over there too. You have injured all of them, having them shot, in accidents, trapped in fires, even killing one of them off."
"Objection your honor! He's badgering the witness!" Harm stood up again.
"Sustained. Commander Riker, calm yourself down before I hold you in contempt. Understood?" Stone asked, pointing his gavel at Riker.
"Yes your honor. No further questions." Riker sat down, sulking.
Harm stood up and walked over to where I was sitting. "Ms. Summers, I understand that your name appears in a few of your stories, is that correct?"
"Yes it does, uh, A moment too late and Joker's Wild."
"What is your role in both of those?"
"In Joker's Wild I played jokes on everyone in the station and A Moment Too Late I was hit by a car. I was a firefighter/paramedic in both" I winced, remembering how injured I was. I saw the firefighters in the back crying.
"So you were injured yourself? Interesting. So you experienced first had what these characters go through?"
"Yes I did. I almost died three times. My crew and the hospital personnel brought me back." I could see Hogan and his men trying to wipe tears away.
"And yet you still write stories, like Commander Riker mentioned, even killing Roy DeSoto. Why is that?" Harm's voice softened.
"Because I loved these characters and wanted to be a part of their world. And even though Roy died, he was always with Johnny. But I write some humor and romance as well," I replied, trying to defend myself.
"I see that you have. You gave Luke Duke a love interest, gave Mike Stoker a fiancé and had Chet Kelly thrown out of library for throwing spitballs. You are in the middle of putting Captain Stanley in a fish factory, where he really hates fish. Thank you Ms. Summers. Your honor, I think this young lady has been through enough. I request that this witness be dismissed As I understand it, she was on vacation when her subpoena was served," Harm said, sitting back down next to Mason.
"I'm with you Commander. You are dismissed Ms. Summers," Judge Stone said, banging his gavel.
I looked down for a moment, chocking with emotion and when I looked back up, I was in the same spot I had been in on the beach, back in my bikini and thankfully had my pina colada and mai tai next to me.
Thank God that's over. I hope who ever is next in the trial is just as lucky as me, I thought, watching the hot guys roaming the beach.
"I know the feeling." That was defiantly not my voice in my head. I looked to my right and saw none other than Commander Harmon Raab Jr lying next to me in a pair of swim trunks and no shirt.
"Commander?" I choked out, defiantly giving his toned body a once-over. Oh man, he is so stinking' cute!
"They let me leave the courtroom after you left. I figured I needed a few days of R&R. So here I am." He pulled me closer.
Thank you fanfic court, for letting him leave!