Part One

Natsu was having the worst day of his life.

After living through four hundred years of what could be described as torture, he had never felt the kind of pain that he was experiencing now. He wasn't even sure how he was still functioning, let alone able to pretend everything was okay.

Natsu's life hadn't exactly been what someone would call 'easy', but a year ago, when he met Princess Lucy Heartfilia he felt like the whole world was suddenly beautiful. Like he hadn't really been alive until that day.

He had found out pretty quickly that he was in love with her. That - somehow - despite all their differences, that she was the one.

And there were some pretty big differences.

He was a dragon and she was a princess.

He didn't think that mattered. He thought, maybe, after hundreds of years of being alone, he would finally have a chance at true happiness.

Now it all felt cruelly naive. Like he had just found out that all of his childish fantasies were delusions.

He hadn't realised, up until a few minutes ago, that all of his deep-rooted hoped rested on her. Rested on her loving him back.

He had thought that he could actually have a chance at being normal again. Was he really the monster his brother had accused him of? It all felt so distant now...Igneel dying, Zeref blaming him and cursing him...he looked down at himself, at the dragon he was now, not even remembering the days that he was human. What had he even looked like? Would Lucy love him then?

He wished he could ask her. He wished he could tell her what had happened. He just wished he say anything. But, alas, dragons couldn't talk to humans.

So he sat in silence, with a broken heart and grief so deep he didn't even know if it could ever fade, as she told him she was getting married.

He tried to keep a steely face. He tried not to cry. Could dragons even cry?

After all of the horrible things he had lived through - cursed as an immortal dragon - this one small thing finally made him think that he had to be a monster. Because only monsters were given the same fate as him.

The worst part was that, after being turned into a dragon, he changed mentally as well. He started thinking more like a dragon, and with that came the idea of a mate. One mate. The only one. There was only one person he would ever want to be with for the rest of eternity. And that was Lucy. But Lucy didn't want him.

He watched her, unsure if it made him feel better or worse. Her pretty golden hair that reminded him of his favourite fire, her warm brown eyes that always smiled at him, her pouty pink lips that looks so soft, always giving him grins. She was beautiful, inside and out.

He couldn't even tell anyone why he loved her. Not because he couldn't speak, but because he simply couldn't choose. It was like all of her was meant for all of him. Well, that was what he thought...at least before she had told him she was engaged.

She spoke to him in chiming, soft words that always made his heart race. Her face was flushed, a pretty red he always dreamed was for him. Her eyes were half sad, half hopeful.

"Prince Loke is a nice man, Natsu. Daddy says he should make a fine husband," she explained, eyes cast down. "He's handsome too, according to all the women in the realm. I haven't seen him since we were kids but he was always looking out for me…" she trailed off, chancing a look at him.

He held a blank expression, not wanting to portray the darkness sighing within his soul, like it finally had a place to settle.

"Well I guess it's kind of silly to talk to a dragon about human thing…"

Not as stupid as you think.

"But I had to tell someone, Natsu, and you're so important to me…"

Those words cut like a knife, and he tried desperately not to wince.

"I think I should be happy with him…"

That one hurt even more. He wished he could call out. Tell he she could be happier with him.

"But...I don't know how often I'll be able to visit when I'm married...I might," she paused, looking down again, "I might have to move away…"

As soon as those words sunk in it felt like his fate had finally been decided. Not only would Lucy never love him, but she was going to be taken away from him.

He didn't know how he kept himself from whimpering, his heart giving off the most painful ache, but he kept silent.

"But I promise I'll be back here next week as always!" She said cheerfully, like the last sentence had never even passed her lips. Like it wasn't even important.

He realised after that exactly what he had to do.

He had told Happy, his exceed companion, that it might come to this one day. That one day he might just have to give up.

His last chance at happiness had shrivelled away. He couldn't speak. He couldn't die. So he would do what his dragon wanted, what he wanted. He would curl up in his cave and sleep and never wake up. Maybe he would finally die...either way, he would be able to escape.

"I-I have to go, Natsu. I have a dinner with Loke. But I'll be back next week, so I'll see you then, right?" She said, still asking despite the fact she knew he could never reply.

Natsu dropped his head, a non-committal gesture which could easily be mistaken for a nod. It was more a sigh of defeat.

He watched her slyly, raising his head again as she walked back out of the forest opening, he beautiful hair swaying behind her, waving in the wind like it was saying goodbye, like it knew that he would never be here again.

Then she was gone.

He collapsed on the ground, not being able to waste his energy on standing. He waited until he knew she would be out of earshot before he let out a piercing howl, a haunting cry that let out all of his heart break.

He couldn't cry, so he just sat there and whimpered until the sun set and the world was as black as his heart.

He closed his eyes, his head sinking into the grass and he let out a soft whimper through his sore throat.

He heard a rustling of shrubbery. Knowing it was going to be Happy, he didn't even bother raising his head. He simply stared blankly in front of him, waiting for his furry, blue companion to come into his view.

"Natsu?" Happy asked tentatively, the sad look in his eyes telling Natsu he knew what had happened. It was written all over Natsu's face.

Happy's lower lips quivered as he looked around, seeing Lucy was long gone.

"Where did Lucy go?" He asked, knowing it was pointless, fat tears flowing down his cheeks. He was crying for Natsu. The dragon almost felt better for it, if it wasn't for the emptiness he felt in his heart.

Natsu whimpered again. Not knowing how else to tell his friend she was gone. Not know how else to tell him that it was time.

"She's gonna come back, right? It's not like she's going forever!" Happy asked, through his tears. Natsu wasn't sure who he was trying to convince.

The dragon whined again, his throat almost raw from the abuse.

"No, Natsu!" The cat cried, "It's not time! Not yet! She'll come back! She can't leave!" He begged, making Natsu hurt even more. He didn't want to leave his best friend, but he had to.

Natsu closed his eyes, trying to tell Happy it was the right thing to do. Either way, he felt - deep in his heart - that his dragon wouldn't survive. At least this way he wouldn't suffer.

"No! Natsu! You're my friend! My best friend! You can't go! I need you! What am I supposed to do if you...if you…" Happy choked up, unable to finish his last words through his heaving tears.

The cat flew to him, desperately clinging onto his muzzle, clutching at rough, red scales like he was hanging on for dear life. The warm, wet tears rolling down his face almost felt like his own. In that moment, with his eyes shut tight, he felt like a human again. The feeling was gone in an instant, but the fact that his friend had done that for him meant more than anything.

Natsu hugged Happy from behind with his wings, trying to comfort him, trying to tell him it was alright. But most of all, trying to tell him that he was grateful. That he loved him.

"I love you too, Natsu. I don't care if you're a dragon or a human! You're my best friend and that's all that matters!" Happy cried, pulling away and wiping at his tears with the back of his paw. Natsu opened his eyes to watch as his friend put on a determined face. "I'll stay by your side. Even if you have to sleep. I'll look after you! We'll still be best friends! We'll be best friend forever, right?" Happy asked.

Natsu gave him his best, dragon grin and Happy flew back to hug him and Natsu sighed, knowing the message was conveyed. They stayed like that for a few minutes, both wishing that all the bad things had never happened. That they were kids again. No curses, no death, no broken hearts and eternal misery. It worked for a second, one second of peace before they knew they had to let go.

Natsu sat up, Happy letting him loose from his grip. His steps were heavy as he stalked over to his cave, his final resting place, ironic, seeing as he couldn't die. With each footfall his heart felt heavier but somehow he also felt lighter, like he could finally let go of everything. Like he could just sleep. Just sleep. Just be. Just forget.

He sighed as he reached the entrance, turning round to give Happy one final glance before he retreated into the cave for good.

Happy's small form was quivering, his eyes full of unshed tears, his furry, blue arms hugging himself tight, as if he was getting ready to having no one else to do it for him. Natsu swallowed, feeling guilty, but his dragon made him turn his head, finally entering the cave.

It was small, just large enough for his body - stretched out and sleeping - with enough room to spare for Happy. It was dark, but Natsu knew it like the back of his hand, he had been sleeping in the cave since his brother had died, leaving him to live as a real dragon.

He let out one final, heavy sigh then set himself down, curling up with his head at the entrance of the cave, but far enough it that he wouldn't be easily spotted. He tucked his tail under his head, attempting to get as comfortable as possible. He wasn't sure if it really mattered, seeing that he wasn't going to really be conscious enough to feel comfort, but it felt right.

He finally let his eyes float closed, the darkness behind his eyes not that different from that of the sky's.

A final thought of Lucy flickered through his head, and he knew it was the right thing to do. He let out a whimper and a breathless sigh before he finally let go. He knew it was time…

Then he slept.

Not knowing if he would ever wake up again.

Happy didn't know what to do.

He had known this day was coming for a long time.

But he had thought that Lucy would have changed it. He thought that Lucy would have been able to help Natsu, not make him hurt even more.

Maybe Happy didn't really understand humans, but he understood Natsu. He understood his pain. He was the one person that always would. That was why Happy would never leave him alone. Even if he had decided to sleep for the rest of his days. Even if he didn't want him to.

Happy cast another glance over the red-scaled dragon that slept so soundly in the cave. He had been sleeping for hours now and Happy already knew he was never going to wake up. He had already, selfishly, tried to wake him up; shouting, punching and shoving him. It was all pointless.

Happy felt so useless. Like it was all his fault.

He felt angry too though. Sometimes he thought that if Lucy had never stumbled upon their cave, then they could have been together forever. But she broke his heart and took his best friend away. She probably didn't even care.

Happy had thought that Lucy had loved Natsu too. He was even sure of it. But Lucy had to go and get engaged. She didn't even see how much she hurt him.

She probably thought, like Natsu had always said, that Princesses didn't belong with Dragons. That they belonged with Princes instead. Happy huffed.

In reality, it was all kind of ironic, seeing as Natsu had been a prince before he was turned into a dragon. In fact, the Dragneel family had ruled Fiore for centuries before the Heartfilia family. But, when Zeref, the finally Dragneel, died, the Heartfilia family took over the country, leaving Queen Anna on the throne.

Happy didn't often think back to the time when his friend had been cursed four hundred years ago, or how he had been cursed after. Both forced to live forever, Happy had lost his family, everything he knew. But he would do it again for Natsu. For the angel boy that saw himself as a demon.

Happy had never felt a deeper fear than when he had come to Natsu that day and looked in his eyes, knowing that his best friend had finally stopped fighting against his brothers words. Finally believing that he was really a monster.

It wasn't fair. Natsu was good. He didn't deserve everything that was given to him.

He was cursed a long time before he had been turned in a dragon.

Happy closed his eyes and laid back onto the soft grass watching the dark sky and all those stars that Lucy had always talked about.

He wasn't sure when, but at some point in the night he had fallen asleep under the stars, dreaming that he and Natsu could finally be happy, in a place that there was no such thing as curses and sadness, and Natsu finally got all those good things he deserved.

When he woke up, Happy knew it was just a dream.

The sky was bright and cheery, but the rhythmic, quiet breathing from the cave behind him told him that Natsu was still very much asleep. Still not planning on waking up.

The rustling of trees caught his attention. Happy turned his head just in time to find a familiar figure walking through the clearing.

The man was was not overtly tall, but could not be called short. He was about the height that Happy imagined Natsu would be if he was still human. He had messy, raven black hair and dark eyes that squinted in his assessment of the area. He was shirtless, not seeming to notice his missing clothing in the cold morning breeze. He gave Happy a small, relaxed smile and a curt wave before he approached.

"Yo! Happy! Where's your idiot best friend? I bought that thing he asked for. It was a fucking hard job, so I expect him to beg at my feet!" Gray laughed, but stopped as soon as he saw Happy's disheartened look.

"Shit!" Gray swore, "Fuck, Lucy was here yesterday, wasn't she? What happened? Don't tell me…"

Happy pointed over to the cave and Gray dropped his bag, running over to the cave entrance, Happy following behind, knowing what he would find there.

"Natsu!" Gray roared, "You idiot! I didn't think you were this fucking dumb! What about us, huh? What about your damn friends?!" Gray shouted at the sleeping dragon.

Though Happy knew he would deny it, he saw the sparkle of unshed tears in his eyes. But the thing that struck him hardest was the fact that Gray had called him his friend. He had always vehemently denied it, saying they were enemies instead.

"You can't just leave people behind!" He snapped. "What about that damned thing you made me get ya? Huh? I might as well just fucking burn it" Gray shook; Happy wasn't sure if it was in sadness or anger.

"What did she do to you?" He said quietly, sighing as he looked the red dragon over, knowing he would never wake up.

"She's getting married," Happy replied quietly, even though he knew the question was not for him.

Gray turned to Happy, his jaw set, his eyes swirling with mix of emotions. He sighed again, turning back to Natsu for a second before he stormed out of the cave, back to his belongings. Happy watched, frowning as he thought the man was going to leave.

Instead, Gray opened his bag, reaching inside to pull out the object that he had obtained for Natsu. A long, scaly, white scarf. The scarf that Igneel had given to Natsu before he died. The scarf that Zeref had hidden away after he turned Natsu into a dragon. Happy's eyes widened.

"You found it!" Happy cried in disbelief, flying over to inspect the object.

Gray scratched the back of his head and looked down.

"Well, yeah. I'm the best thief in all of Fiore!" Gray scoffed, but Happy could see through his cockiness.

"You must be if you found this! I can't believe it's still okay…" Happy said, knowing Gray appreciated the compliment.

Gray smiled, a lopsided grin, before looking down to the scarf.

"It was hard to track it down but there wasn't really any thievery required in the end, it was hidden in the ruins of the old Dragneel Castle,"

"All this time…" Happy muttered, shaking his head when Gray frowned. "Thanks, Gray. You're the best!" He smiled.

Gray smiled again, then walked back to the cave, Happy close behind. He walked up to the dragon and draped the scarf over his neck.

"Here you go, Natsu. Now you know I didn't go back on my word. I'd say you don't owe me anything but I'm pretty sure you owe me an awakening. And you know I'm gonna come back until I get my owes," Gray promised, he placed his hand on Natsu's head. "Don't take too long, idiot. You got people who need you. Even if you don't think so…"

Gray took his hand away, clenching it, trying to rid himself of the touching moment. He turned back to Happy.

"What are you gonna do now? If you need a place to stay, me 'n Juvia could find some space for you," Gray suggested, but Happy was pretty sure he already knew what the answer would be.

"Thanks for the offer Gray, but I have to stay with him. I promised I would always be here." Happy said determinedly, looking over at his friend with with pride.

Gray gave a hearty laugh before finding his way out of the cave again and picking up his stuff. He turned back to Happy before he made to leave.

"I don't know near enough about that kid, but I sure as hell know he must have gone through a lot of shit if you're that loyal. I guess he aint that bad. But never tell him I said that…" Gray paused before speaking again. "I'll be back, Happy. I promised him and I mean it. I don't know when, or how often. But I'll be back." He smiled, a sad smile, but a smile nonetheless.

"Thanks, Gray." Happy said, just as solemn.

"No need for thanks," he replied.

And with that said, Gray left the small, grassy opening and, consequently, Happy.

Happy flew over to his best friend in the cave, watching his chest rising and falling, smiling when he saw the scarf draped over Natsu neck; back where it belonged.

A week after Natsu had decided to go to sleep forever, Lucy returned, just as she had every week.

Happy was expecting her arrival, but nothing could prepare him for the feelings that overwhelmed him. All at once, he felt happiness, sadness, anger and a horrible sense of grief. Like she was reminding him of everything he had lost when she had walked away. When he had found his friend collapsed on the ground, nothing left of him but grief.

She looked so happy. So carefree. Like breaking Natsu's heart had meant nothing to her. Like she didn't even expect him to care. Even when he so clearly loved her.

It shouldn't have mattered that he was a dragon, but it did, and that was the worst part.

Happy watched her skip through the trees of the dense forest to the small clearing. She stopped at the edge of the grass, clearly surprised that Natsu was not there waiting for her. She looked around, frowning, before her eyes landed on Happy. Her smile reappeared, making Happy's gut clench. She didn't even know what happened.

She walked over to him, still looking around, trying to spot Natsu.

"Hey, Happy! Where's Natsu? He's never normally late…" she asked, not sounding worried at all.

"He's not coming." Happy deadpanned, not even sure what emotion he should have used.

Happy watched her face as her expression morphed from surprise to anger to worry and, finally, to sadness. A sadness that seemed to wash over her whole body.

"W-What do you mean?" She asked, her bottom lip trembling, clearly in distress, but Happy didn't have the heart to comfort her. He was finding it hard enough to comfort himself.

"He's not going to come back. He's...gone," Happy explained, trying his best to swallow his tears. It was better that she thought he was gone. He didn't need another person living with the cruel reality that he was right there, but he was never coming back. He would never smile again, never growl again...not even whine again.

"Gone?" She asked breathlessly, like she didn't know how to used her voice properly anymore. "W-Where?" She asked, tears pouring over her rosy cheeks.

"I don't think I should tell you," Happy said, knowing Natsu didn't deserve further torment. Neither did she.

"Why?" Lucy cried, more tears welling up.

"Because he'll only get more sad," Happy said, honestly.

"Why would he be sad?"

"Because you hurt him," Happy said, trying to push his anger down, but it welled to the surfaced. "Because Natsu's has had a terrible life and he thought you would never hurt him. But you did. And now he's gone…" Happy cried, feeling his own tears creep down his face, feeling just as lost and alone as his friend had felt.

Lucy look shocked at his words and then Happy saw her clutch at her dress, just over her heart. Her face scrunched up in pain and she gave a look of utter helplessness. Although Happy wanted to help her, he didn't know if he would be much use the way he was now.

"I hurt him," she whispered, as if she was accusing herself.

"I'm sorry, Lucy, but I don't think you should come back here again. I don't think it's fair," Happy said solemnly.

She looked down at him looking lost, like she didn't even know where home was anymore.

Much to Happy's relief, she nodded.

Unable to help himself, Happy spoke one more time before she left.

"It doesn't matter. He's just a dragon anyway, right?" Happy said, anger, once again, cutting through his grief, watching her carefully.

She said nothing, but more silent tears fell from her eyes. She sniffed loudly before turning on her heels and running out of the clearing, without saying another word.

Happy sighed. He felt awful and relieved at the same time.

He loved Lucy almost as much as Natsu did. But he loved Natsu more. He was his best friend, and that meant that he would stay by him, even if that meant that he had to make Lucy sad.

Happy retreated back into the cave and laid down next to his best friend, resting his head where one side of the scarf pooled by Natsu's neck. He closed his eyes, listening to the dragon's even breaths, finding comfort in them.

Even if Natsu wasn't awake, he was still alive. And, for Happy, that was enough.

It also meant that, one day, he might wake up.

To anyone that has been reading my other stories: I'm really sorry for the massive delay! I've been having a few problems lately and I've been so stressed about writing my dissertation that I ended up not really writing at all. I AM GOING TO CONTINUE THEM. I love those stories so I'm not going to stop. I even have a lot more planned, I have about 20 (or more) unfinished Nalu works at the moment and I am trying to finish all of them, a lot of them are oneshots but I want them to be perfect before I post.

I hope this new story will please a few of you! Although it really sad now, I promise it does get better! It's a love story after all ;)

Thank you for all of the amazing support I have received over my break. You guys are amazing and I promise I will get all my stories done! Some are much closer than others, so look forward to lots more in the future.

Concerning this particular fic, I have it all planned out but it will probably be updated once a month. It's not going to be a massive fic but I really love it :)