Identity Cri
sisDisclaimer: I don't own anything. Hermione belongs to the library and Harry and Ron belong to each other. All the rest belong to J.K, who I've never met 'cos I live on the other side of the world. Pickled Toad is mine!!!!
Harry, Ron and Hermione are in the library, studying for an upcoming very-super-dooper-hard test for Snape.
Harry: What?!
Ron: What?!
Hermione: Oh goody! A test!!
Pickled Toad: You are going to have a very-super-dooper…
Harry: I heard you perfectly! We only agreed to work for you in this fanfiction because we're sick of Snape! Our contract said nothing about tests!
Pickled Toad: Too bad.
Ron: I love tests. Oh my god, why did I say that?!
Pickled Toad: You said it because I made you say it. I can make you say anything, look…
Harry: Ron, I love you.
Ron: Why thank you Harry. I love you too.
(Pickled Toad bursts out laughing. Harry and Ron scowl at her angrily.)
Harry: I quit!!
Pickled Toad: No you don't!
Harry: I love this job! Yuck! I didn't mean to say that. JK Rowling was nicer.
Pickled Toad (angrily): Fine. What do you want me to do?
Hermione: Let me do some laundry.
Ron: I want purple socks.
Harry: I want to marry Millicent Bulstrode. Ew! Yuck! She made me say that.
Pickled Toad: Ha ha!
Harry: As I am the star character I command you to LET US GO!!
Pickled Toad: You signed the contract.
Ron: Do I still get purple socks? I like 'em smelly.
Neville: Yo, guys.
Ron: NEVILLE?!!
Nev: What's up, bro? Chill out!
Harry: What have you done to him?!
Pickled Toad: Just a few improvments…
Hermione: Improvements? He's wearing a leather jaket and he's GOT LONG BLOND HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!
Pickled Toad: You should see what I did to the others!!
(Cho Chang walks in)
Harry: Hi, Cho!
Cho: Questo e inda in la faam?
Harry: What have you done to her??!!
Pickled Toad: Just a few improvements…
Hermione: Improvements? She's speaking Spanish!
Ron: Don't cry, Harry.
(Dumbledore skips in. Pays no attention to Harry, Ron, Hermione or Pickled Toad.)
Dumbledore: Ha ha ha!!! Oh, yeah baby yeah!! Wooooooo!! Yeah! Goooooooooooo!!!!!!! Lemon Drops!!!! Yeeeeee-hah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ron: Always thought he was a bit mad.
Pickled Toad: Well, I waz gonna put Voldemort as a Pizza Hut delivery guy but really, Harry, I didn't want to torture you… who's up for watching Gilderoy Lockhart sing Funk You Wizard Rock wearing only his speedoes, but I don't think they'll last long.
Harry: Me!!! Me!!!!!!! Me!!!!! I love Gilderoy Lockhart!!!!!! Hang on, I'll just go ask my uncle………
Hermione and Ron: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM????????!!!!!!!!
Author's Note: Ya like it? Next I'm gonna post HP and the Curse of the Many Chickens, which includes eyebrows being plucked, talking roosters and Hagrids * newest* hairdo. (I actually wrote it before Book 4 came out and boy did I get a a suprise when Hagrid really got a new look! Can ya please review this story, because it's my only fic so far and I have never got a review in my life.