Thanks to everyone who reviewed my last story. You guys made me very happy!
And thank you to my great beta jbird, who had a go at this one, too. All mistakes that are still in it are entirely my own!
Disclaimer: I still don't own them and I never will. But thanks for letting me use them!
The Last Happy Day
It is the summer of 1974 and things are still all right. They won't be for much longer, but thankfully Jack doesn't know that. And right at that moment things are as good as they can possibly be, because his motherhas had a good day. She is sitting in the front of the car beside his father, smiling, happy, not talking much but once in a while touching her husband's right hand resting on the steering wheel. They have not been fighting all day and Jack is relishing the quiet and the peace.
It is a perfect day.
The sun is shining from a clear blue sky and a gentle breeze prevents the evening from being too hot.
They have been at the lake all day, swimming, sunbathing, and having fun together. Jack can hardly remember the last time that happened. His father, the soldier, is usually gone for months at a time, and when he is home there's always a lot of fighting between his parents. Jack and his mother used to follow him around wherever he was stationed, when Jack was younger, but eventually his mother craved a more stable environment. She claimed it was for Jack's sake, but Jack knows that she needed a more stable environment for herself. Moving to different places every couple of months or years took too much out of her, making the lingering depression that was never far away even worse. In the end, of course, the outward stability will not help. This is her last happy day. It is also the last happy day Jack will have for a long time.
His father is whistling softly, enjoying the drive. He is going to the Philippines the next day and looking forward to it. He loves his wife and he loves his son, but he often thinks life is so much easier when they are not around.
A sound like a gunshot rips the air and the car sways from side to side. With a curse Jack's father pulls to a stop at the side of the road. They are near a small town. On the right hand side Jack can see a trailer park shaded and partly obscured by tall trees and hedges.
"Dammit!" Jack's father exclaims, bringing both his hands down hard on the steering wheel.
"What is it, honey?" his mother Doris asks, intimidated. "Can't you just put on the spare tire?"
"Spare tire's flat. I took it down to Dave's garage yesterday and forgot all about it. I'll have to go find a service station. Damn! I'm not even fully packed, yet!"
Doris touches her husband's hand.
"Don't worry. Everything will be ready 'til tomorrow morning. Just go and get that tire fixed. I'm sure it won't take all evening." She looks up at him and smiles a tired, sweet smile.
"Okay.", he grumbles, placing a fleeting kiss on her hair that makes her smile deepen and looks back at his son.
"Help me with the tire Jack, and then take care of your Mom until I'm back. Okay?"
"Okay, Dad," Jack says, eager to please, not wanting to lose the magic of the day.
ooo
Jack and his mother settle down in the shade of a tree. Doris closes her eyes and soon drifts off. She tends to sleep a lot. Jack can hear children's voices from the trailer park. Everything is peaceful until a woman's shrill voice breaks the calm. At first Jack can't make out what she is yelling, but then her voice comes closer.
"Samantha," she is screaming, "Samantha, where are you?"
Doris wakes with a start, looking around with a confused, far away expression in her eyes. Jack turns. He sees the woman approaching rapidly through the tall, dry grass. She is young and panting heavily, not so much from exertion but from fear. When she sees Jack and Doris she cries:
"Have you seen my daughter?"
"No, Ma'am", Jack says politely, "we haven't seen her."
"You don't even know what she looks like," the woman states sharply."How can you say that you haven't seen her?"
"We haven't seen anybody and we've only been here for a couple of minutes."
"Oh," the woman says disappointedly, eying the car and the predicament that they are in.
"Is someone taking care of this?" she asks without really caring.
"Yeah, my father went to get the tire fixed."
She is looking around, scanning the tall weeds where a child can easily hide.
"Samantha," she screams again but no one is answering.
"Oh my God," she says, her eyes full of tears, pointing to the territory beyond the trailer park; trees, bushes and weeds reaching as far as Jack can see. "A year ago a boy went missing. We found him three days later in an old well. It was dried up but the kid was still dead." She starts to sob. "They filled the well up, but we were told there might be more in the area and not to let the kids play there anymore. I told Samantha, but of course…she never listens! Please help me!"
Jack is feeling uncomfortable around the crying woman. He clears his throat:
"Maybe you should organize a search party with your neighbors.It's a vast area to cover. I'll be happy to help, though."
He pulls himself up.
"Oh, yes, of course," the woman says, hastily turning around and heading back through the high grass. After a few feet she turns around again and pleads:
"You'll start to look for her… okay? She's blonde and she's wearing a blue dress. Her name is Samantha."
Jack nods in confirmation.
The woman turns again and he sees her run towards the trailers.
"Just wait here, Mom, okay?" he says, concerned that she will not be able to cope with the situation.
"The poor girl," Doris says with a worried frown, "Just go on. I'll wait here for your father."
ooo
Jack is wading through the weeds calling out the name in regular intervals.
His mind is returning again and again to the horror of the boy dying in the dried up well. The thought rests heavily on his chest and makes breathing difficult. He is afraid he might not find her in time. His steps become more hurried. In the distance he can hear other voices taking up the call:
"Samantha, Samantha."
But Jack is far ahead.
His eyes are flicking from side to side, looking for grass that has been trampled down, looking for any trace she might have left. He is almost running now. He passes through a cluster of trees. The voices behind him are distant now. It almost seems as if they are searching in a different direction. They are fading. He looks behind, but he can neither see the road nor the trailer park any more. He is alone.
The breeze has stilled and the evening is very hot. The sun is dipping slowly down to the horizon. Soon the whole sky will be blazing red. The air around him is drenched by evening sunlight.
"Samantha."
He calls out again, softly this time because now he knows where he is going. Bushes are opening up onto a clearing. A child is standing in the middle. She is no more then three years old, a tiny, skinny figure in a faded blue dress. Blond hair curls around her upturned face. Her eyes are closed. Sunlight is enveloping her body.
"Sam…?"
"Shh, the sun. Hear it?"
Jack is quiet. He can only hear the chirping sound the cicadas make.
"What sound does the sun make?" he asks after a while.
"Singing," the girl whispers.
Jack can hear nothing.
But he waits patiently. He can afford to wait. The girl is safe and he is not letting her out of his sight.
Finally she sighs and turns and stares at him with the darkest eyes he has ever seen.
"Hi, I'm Jack, "he says.
She looks at him with a small, very grown-up frown on her face. She has probably been warned about strangers all her life.
"I'm looking for you," he adds. "It's dangerous out here."
A smile lits her face and she shakes her head, golden hair flying.
"Mommy sent you?"
"Yes, she did."
She walks over to him and puts her small hand into his.
"Okay," she simply says, her trust complete.
ooo
They walk back. She is not so much walking as skipping along. Her blonde head is bouncing up and down. Their hands are swinging to and fro. Happiness is rising in Jack. A weight lifts from his shoulders. It is the weight he always carries around, has done so for as long as he can remember. The weight of not being able to be a child and not being able to be young, the weight of having to act like a grown-up, of being responsible all the time because he has to look out for his mother. He has to take care of her, make sure she is happy. He has to make the depression go away. It is a hopeless task but Jack will never be able to resign himself to that.
The weight will settle more firmly tomorrow night when he discovers her trying to gas herself with the car's exhaustion fumes. It will almost crush him three months later when she manages to kill herself.
But right now, walking through the evening sunshine, the tall grass brushing against his legs, the little girl at his side, he is all right. He is happy.
The girl starts to sing a wordless tune.
"Is that the song of the sun?" Jack asks.
"My song"
She laughs up at him.
The way back is long and she soon gets tired. She ends the journey sitting high on his shoulders, her hands grabbing handfuls of his dark hair. She is still singing. Dusk is falling.
ooo
He meets members of the search party when they are almost back at the trailer park. Nobody thought she would go that far. Samantha's mother rushes up to them, her face wet with tears.
"Oh, thank you, thank you," she says over and over. Jack lifts the precious weight from his shoulders.
Samantha is sleepy. She hugs her mother tight. The woman is taking Jack's hand.
"Come with us," she says," I have a glass of lemonade for you."
A voice behind Jack interrupts. It is his father.
"We really must be heading home. We've lost enough time as it is."
Jack does not want to go. Samantha's head is resting sleepily on her mother's shoulder. She is looking at him.
Jack tears his eyes away from them. He feels a sense of loss but he cannot say for what. I will have a daughter just like her one day, he thinks. He follows his father to the car, not even noticing the lack of acknowledgement for his feat. His mother is already waiting. She has gone into one of her strange moods and is not speaking to them the rest of the evening. His father will have to pack on his own after all.
"Some people can't even take care of their own children," his father says, "But what can you expect of trailer trash."
Jack looks back. He is hoping to see a last glimpse of blonde hair and a faded blue dress, but she is gone. She did not look like trash to him.
ooo
More than 25 years later Special Agent Jack Malone sits at the desk in the bullpen when Special Agent Samantha Spade walks in for the first time. He meets her dark eyes and is instantly lost in their depths. There is a strange aura surrounding her that reminds him of Indian summer days and the sunlight right before dusk.
He feels the foreshadowing of what will one day become his love for her.
A love that will be deep and complete.
A love from which he will never recover, no matter how hard he'll try.
The memory of that long ago day remains hidden forever, buried deeply beneath his mother's suicide. What stays is a bright, sunlit spot in his heart,a place into which a part of himself withdraws in times of trouble. The place from where he draws the strength to survive, to keep himself sane, whatever he has to face.
Samantha will always ask herself why she didn't meet him sooner in life. Why didn't fate bring them together earlier, before he married? Why did they never get a chance? Why will time and coincidence always seem to conspire against them?
"Another life, maybe?" he will ask her years later.
She will nod and smile, because she has told herself that she has to accept, that she has to let him go. But there is a deep, fierce part inside her that cries out in disbelief. Deep down she will never be able to shake the feeling that she lost him once before.
She will not want to lose him again.
And she will keep her love for him for a future that is not written, yet.
The End.