"Oh silly Edward, vampires can't sleep, this is really happening" Emmett said trying to be reassuring, he thought he was helping.
We all turned our heads to look out the windows at the vending machines. There stood a line of people with Emmett at the front. It looked as if he was buying everything the machine had to offer. On the ground beside him was a colorful pile of snacks.
"He's going to buy everything they have!" Edward said.
We then saw a little boy behind Emmett start to cry to his mom.
"Can he hurry momma? I want my skittles!" he wailed.
Just then we saw Emmett turn around to speak to the boy and his mother.
"Patience, young grasshopper!" He yelled at the small child.
This made the child just scream and cry louder.
I wonder what is up. The last family meeting we had was when somehow Emmett managed to put a gigantic hole in the living room floor and covered it up with an area rug. He then sat the couch over it and the couch ended up falling through when Carlisle and Esme sat on it. Another one of his plans gone bad, obviously
He could hear Emmett in the background asking Rose, "Dose a bloody Mary actually have blood in it?" 'Well at least Jessica isn't the stupidest one hear' Edward thought.
"Hey Emmett, why does your wig look all wet and smell like puke?" Rose asked.
"Um…that doesn't matter….lets get back to the game." Emmett said getting up.
"When you were puking you dropped it in the toilet didn't you?" Alice asked.
"Um…maybe….."
"Emmett! I paid good money for that wig!" Alice said chasing him outside.
"See Esme, and you thought we were crazy." Emmett said laughing.
"You should invite the wolfs more often…they make you look normal" Esme noted
"Wow, Emmett actually said something smart….Alice did you catch that on tape?" Bella asked.
"Yup, we tape all of Emmett's smart moments…" Alice said.
"That must be a very short tape." Jacob laughed.
"Hey, I have my moments!" Emmett yelled.
"Um….sure." Carlisle said taking out the roll of tape from in the bush.
"Why the Hell is there a role of tape in that bush?" Bella asked Edward.
"Um….we keep a lot of things outside", was his only answer.
"Seth…he's made of cardboard, he doesn't breath." Emmett said.
"Wow Emmett, two smart things in a row." Alice said giving him a high five.
"Yup, I'm on a role." Emmett said smiling at himself with pride.
"Seth what the hell is wrong with you, Barney is awesome!" Emmett yelled.
"I do not scare children….when they see me there happy." Emmett argued.
"Oh yah well what about when we were at the mall last week and you saw those little children in the bouncy house and started jumping with them and they screamed mommy, oh my God the big crazy mans going to kill us." Jasper said.
"Oh those children just had a problem; I don't know what was wrong with them."
"Well you did start hitting them with balls from the ball pit."
"Hey the other kids were doing it….."
"Yes…but I think you throw a little harder then a three year old."
"Not really….."
"When you were finished every kid there had a black eye…." Rose said butting in.
"Wow, nice job Emmett." Bella snickered.
"Blocks!" Emmett yelled as he ran over to play with the wooden blocks.
"Mrs. Keith, Barney stole my blocks." One of the little boys yelled.
"Wow Albert, Barney really? You have some imagination." The teacher said not yet seeing Emmett.
"What are you talking about Mrs. Keith Barney's right hear? Can't you see him?" Albert asked.
"Albert, how many times do we have to go threw this, only you can see your imaginary friends." She said sweeping the floor still not seeing Emmett.
"But...he's not imaginary." The little boy argued.
"Yah, Barney's real!" Emmett yelled.
"OH MY GOD!" The teacher yelled finally seeing Emmett.
"Boys and girls, lets all practice that safety drill again!" She yelled.
"The one for strangers?" Albert asked.
"Yes, that one." Mrs. Keith answered.
"Aright, everyone in the closet!" Albert yelled…..What the Hell kind of safety drill is this?
"Wow, yes everyone will be really safe if they hide in there", Rose laughed
"Umm….knowing him he's probably at the bail bonds man right now." Emmett answered. "If I have to go to jail can I get one of those orange jump suites?' Emmett asked.
"Um…sure."
"Can it be orange?" Emmett asked.
"Well actually at this jail we do pink." Charlie answered.
"Why?" Emmett asked sadly, he really wanted an orange jump suite.
"Because we find that pink is more humiliating." Charlie answered.
"Well that's mean Charlie; don't you love your jail birds?" Emmett asked.
Umm…not really." Charlie answered.
"That hurts Charlie." Emmett said as he went to go change into his pink jump suite….well at least he was out of that Barney costume.
"It takes a real man to wear pink, it takes a real man to war pink, it takes a real man to wear pink." Emmett mumbled to himself as he sat down in his jail cell.
"Yes it does and you are a real man." The lady on the other side of the cell said.
"I'm not letting you take another picture now come on; it's time for finger prints." Charlie said leading him to the next room.
"Is this going to hurt?" Emmett asked afraid.
"No…..it's just ink." Charlie said.
"Ink! Oh my God, did you get it from a squid?" Emmett asked.
"Um….no." Charlie said as he took out the ink.
"Are you sure this isn't going to hurt Charlie?" Emmett asked.
"Would I ever hurt you?" Charlie asked.
"Well you did lock me in a cell with a transvestite and made me wear pink, that hurts emotionally." Emmett said.
"Oh Emmett, your such a drama queen." Charlie said as he stuck Emmett's fingers in the ink.
"Excuse me? What's that suppose to mean?" Emmet asked offended. "Are you calling me a transvestite? Is that why you put me in jail with a transvestite?" Emmett accused.
"No, tell you what if it could make you happier I could put you on the other side of the jail where no one is." Charlie said trying to make Emmett sound better.
"Ok." Emmett said as he went to the phone to make his call. He decided to call Edward.