The liars

Eh… Just some one-shot story I thought of one night while waiting to get sleepy. I guess it is set somewhere between Drum Arc and Alabasta Arc, but I don't think there are any major spoilers. The Going Merry was attacked, and Usopp was badly injured when trying to protect his treasure. (Bad summary, just read it if you still want to.)

I do not own One Piece, I'm just playing with Oda's characters for fun.

So this is what it feels like.

To die, that is.

Funny, I thought that it would be cold and scary. But I'm warm, and I'm not scared. Maybe that's a little scary – that someone like me isn't scared in a situation like this.

It's strange that my thoughts are so clear when everything else around me is so fuzzy. I can see the outlines of Luffy's face as he leans over me, and I can hear his voice calling my name, but I can't answer. My lips won't move even though I try my best to answer him. I want to answer him, because it's what he expects of me. That's all he wants from me. That I will answer him when he calls for me, and that I will be there when he needs me. I guess that's what I've always wanted. That someone would need me.

It's funny how death can give you a clear look on the life you've lived. I've been lying to myself my whole life. Of course, I've always been able to see through the lies, but they've comforted me through hard times by giving me something to believe in. I lied to my mother when she was dying, not to make her believe that my father was returning home or that they had found a medicine that would cure every illness in the world, but because I didn't want to believe that I was going to be alone.

Maybe that's why I'm not scared. I'm not alone now. I can see shadows moving around me, but they're slowly fading – or am I the one fading away? There are hands touching my chest and my shoulders, shaking me lightly, and voices whispering silently above my head. How I wish that I could give them just a little sign that I'm still here, that I'm still awake, but my body won't obey. I think they're all here, they are sitting around me. I can hardly make out the silhouettes of my nakama, but I can feel their touch.

I think my head is resting in Luffy's lap. I can feel his hands on the sides of my head – the strange rubbery texture of his skin can't be mixed up with anyone else's. It's comforting to know that he's there. When I fell, the only thing I could think of was that I hoped that Luffy wouldn't be disappointed at me because I wasn't strong enough to protect the Going Merry. Now I know that I should have had more faith in my captain. I've doubted him far too many times already.

The hands clutching my shoulders are different from one another. The one to the left is large and callused, while the one to the right is long and thin with cold fingertips. Sanji really should cut down on those cigarettes; it's not good for his circulation. It feels strange that they're not arguing, but then again, this isn't a time for arguments. Even if they both get annoyed at me on a daily basis, both Sanji and Zoro are images of what I want to become one day. I don't know if they have any idea how much I've always looked up to them.

Someone is holding my hand, and I doubt that it's Nami. No, the one sitting to my left, who is grasping at my sash with shaking hands while cursing at me under her breath, is more likely to be Nami than Vivi. I wish that she would scream at me instead of just whispering like that.

It's funny that the first time I'm getting this much attention, I'm dying for real.

Okay, maybe it isn't that funny…

My chest hurts. It's like a fire slowly eating its way through my body, leaving a trail of burning pain in its wake. And Chopper isn't making it any better by poking at my wound. I know that he's the doctor and that he has to do anything in his power to try to save me, but I already know that it's too late. I could feel it when the bastard who tried to steal our boat stabbed me, and I can feel it even more now.

I wonder what happened to that coward. I remember running after him as he snuck onto our boat during the battle, following him into the military storage at the prow and then get into close combat with an enemy I knew was too strong for me to handle alone. I remember the blinding pain in my chest and then nothing more until Luffy woke me up when he found me. I don't know what made me run after the guy or why I wasn't afraid to fight him, but I just knew that Merry was in danger. This boat means the world to me, not only because Kaya gave it to us – to Luffy – but because it is the only real thing that reminds me of my old home.

If I could only see my old village again. If only I could see Kaya, Pepper, Carrot and Onion one more time and tell them about the amazing things I've seen so far, from the strange man living inside a whale to the giants in Little Garden. They would think I'm lying as usual, and I would be fine with that. Because I know that I've done what I've could, even if I've been about to die with fear every time I've faced danger. It's kind of ironic, isn't it? That I've been scared to death so many times and got away with only some injuries every time, but this time, I wasn't afraid at all and now I'm dead.

"Just hang in there, Usopp, you'll be fine."

What?

I turn my eyes in the direction of the voice. If I hadn't recognized his voice, I wouldn't have believed that Zoro would say something like that. Zoro's voice isn't normally that thick and so obviously full of fear. Zoro never gets scared, so why does his voice sound like that? I can't help but get annoyed at him. He's lying to himself, just like I've done all my life. Zoro isn't a liar; I can't remember hearing him tell one single lie since I met him. So why is he lying now? If I'm not even scared, then why is the future World's Strongest Swordsman scared? I focus hard enough for my vision to clear up enough so that I can see his face. Is that guilt in his eyes? Why does he feel guilty? I was the one who got myself into this mess in the first place.

I always thought that my death would be quick and painful, but here I am, lying on the floor in my own blood, all these thoughts running through my head as the minutes go by. Maybe I'm not really dying. Maybe Chopper can heal me after all. With all my heart, I hope that he can, because…

Because I don't want to die.

I am afraid. I was just lying to myself again, as usual. Old habit, I guess.

I can't die here. Not like this. I want to see Zoro beat Mihawk. I want to see Nami's map of the world. I want to eat Sanji's food once he finds All Blue. I want to see Chopper cure all the sickness in the world. I want to be there when Vivi saves her country. I want to become a brave warrior of the four oceans and stand by Luffy's side when he becomes the King of Pirates. There's so much I want to do

"I don't want Usopp to die." Luffy says behind that blurry mist that covers my eyes, and I can feel him staring down at me. "Do you hear me? You're not going to die. Now get up, Usopp."

Same here, Captain, same here. I don't want Usopp to die either.

I can hear the others react to his words, but I don't care about them. I wonder why they sound so astonished just because Luffy said something like that. I know that it wasn't a statement, it was an order. When sailing with someone like Luffy, you quickly learn to recognize the tone of voice he uses when he's giving orders, and you also learn that you always end up following those orders, no matter how weird or even stupid they may appear.

To hear Luffy's determined voice order me to live makes me want to fight, to be like Zoro and just decide that I'm just not going to die, no matter how badly hurt I am. But I'm not strong enough to do that. Or am I? Maybe I'm just lying to myself again. What if I do have the strength to be like Zoro? Or even the strength to be like Luffy?

I have to try. Even if I can't, I don't want to let them all down by giving up this easily. If I did, then I wouldn't be here with them. Because whatever reason Luffy had to let me join his clan of pirates, I want to live up to that reason and be the best that I can be.

"Is he still breathing?"

"Tony-kun, he's not dead, is he?"

Nami's and Vivi's voices seem to be so far away, and somehow yet so close. It's like they're slowly coming towards me, just like they were fading away just a moment ago.

"No, he's still breathing, but I can't stop the bleeding. I don't understand, he told me about a potion that made him invincible…"

Chopper's voices trails off. I can hear him sniffle, and I know that he just realized that it was all a lie, just like all the other stories I've told him so far. I never knew that my lies could hurt someone like this. If I get out of this alive, I'm never going to tell another lie about someone being invincible or immortal.

I have to do something to show them that I haven't given up yet. If I could only say something, squeeze Vivi's hand or just something other than just lying here like some over-sized puppet. There are words forming inside my mouth, and before I know it, my lips are moving on their own. I can hear my own voice leave my mouth, dry and hoarse but still my voice.

"Have I… ever told you about the time… when I saved East Blue from the Hydra Clan?"

A silence falls in the room, and I'm sure everyone is staring at me. I don't blame them; even I'm surprised by the lie that slipped out of my mouth. That wasn't something I planned to say, but I guess that a long tear-filled goodbye isn't something that would be expected from someone like me.

I can feel it, a tingling numbness rushing through my body, starting from my feet and going all the way up to my head. My heart races, I can feel it now. I guess I wasn't lying this time… So this is the end of Captain Usopp… No, just Usopp, a marksman and member of Luffy's pirate clan. I always hoped that I would be able to settle with that someday, but I guess I won't be reaching that day now…

"I did it! I stopped the bleeding!"

The thin voice reaches me deep inside that numb feeling, piercing through it like a hot knife through butter. And as it reaches me with all that happiness that's embedded between loud sniffles, I know that I'm not dead. I can hear the other's relieved laughter as they once again shake me by the shoulders. The numbness in my body is wearing off, and makes way for the burning pain in my stomach. What the hell did that bastard stab me with anyway? It feels like he ran a part of the main mast through my body.

The laughter suddenly dies out, and I force my heavy eyelids open to look at my nakama. Everyone is silently looking at me, and as the blurry mists fades from my eyes, I can see the strange look in their eyes. It's almost as if they are planning something that I don't know about.

"You know, I once heard about a girl who was stealing only from pirates to buy a whole island. But there was this shithead of a mer-man who wanted to keep her from reaching that goal…"

I blink as I hear Sanji's voice and I glance over at him, meeting that strange look in the eye that isn't hidden behind his hair. What's going on? That sounded like a lie, but I know that it's true; I was there when we fought the mer-men. I can't even think straight as this confuses me. Why would Sanji try to make something like that into a lie?

"That's nothing," Zoro says, and I turn my eyes to look at him. He is keeping a straight face, but his eyes have the same strange expression in them. "I once heard about a guy who could stretch like rubber. He was aiming to become the King of Pirates, even though he couldn't even swim."

"I know about a reindeer who wanted to become a doctor who could cure any disease," Vivi says, and I turn to look at her, taking in her smiling face as she pats my hand lightly. "To get closer to that goal, he joined a pirate clan. A clan that was full of people with strange abilities."

I don't know what to think about this. Have they all gone mad, or is this simply a crazy dream?

"There was a princess who joined some bad guys to save her people," Luffy says, and as I look up at him, he grins widely at me. "But she found some pirates who helped her out."

"I heard there was a man who was searching for a legendary ocean," Nami says. I can hear that her voice isn't as stabile as it usually is. "They say his kicks could break boulders."

"I know about a man who wanted to become the best swordsman in the world," Chopper sniffles as he is taking care of my wound. "He could fight with three swords, and he was really strong."

I can feel our doctor's hooves poking at the part of my stomach that is still burning as if it was on fire. A stinging pain appears close to the burning feeling, but it quickly wears off. Chopper must have given me something for the pain. Little Chopper, I need to make sure to apologize for telling him the lie about me being invincible. I tend to forget that he always takes everything I say seriously.

Silence falls again. It is as if they are waiting for me to say something, and I don't want to disappoint them. Knowing that I'm not going to dies is making me find strength enough to smile. What stories I could tell them, about the boy who lied too much to the people of his village that the village people wouldn't believe him once he told the truth. And the stories about the boy, who decided to fight a whole clan of pirates to protect his village and ended up becoming a pirate himself. But I don't have the strength to tell any stories. All I can say before Chopper's sedatives wrap me in a soft, comforting darkness is:

"Liars."

End

Okay, uh... This story was actually intended to be a death-fic, butUsopp really didn't want to die... It sounds corny, but it's true. Anyway, I beg for your forgiveness if I've brought the characters too far OOC... But like I said, this was a story I came up with while fighting insomnia. I hope it wasn't too horribly written. -bows-