"My name is Lex Luthor and I have a problem. You see, ever since I was a child, I have had this fixation with the mysterious side of life. It started out simple: Why is the sky blue? How does the grass grow? But it soon started progressing at an alarming rate. I began to get into the supernatural. Ghosts, goblins and everything like that. If it had a scientific explanation, it wasn't mysterious enough for me. The kids at school called me crazy. I thought of it more as a search for the truth than madness. I was wrong. Oh God, was I wrong. And now... Well, now it's out of control. I think aliens 24/7. I go on midnight excursions to find the "Truth." My psychiatrist suggested it might be a lack of sexual activity that's getting me down. Apparently, I'm short one Scully to my Mulder. But that can't be it! I can just feel it. All I can think about nowadays is Clark Kent. And it doesn't help that he's over at my house every day. But there's just something about that kid that gets to me. What is his secret? Who is he really? Anyway, my psychiatrist told me that going to something like this and telling my story might help me get over this bizarre fetish. So, um, yeah. My name is Lex Luthor and I am a mystery addict."
A smiling woman nodded in sympathy and motioned for everyone to welcome him as well. "Welcome to MAA, Mr. Luthor."